If I have a daughter, which I plan to through adoption, I used to think about wanting to enroll her in dance, gymnastics, or choir classes. I have a true passion for the art in the human body and voice, and I want my daughter to have the chance to experience those things. I know choir will be okay...
But it terrifies me when I think about gymnastics and dance. I know that the eating disorder rates for female atheltes in these areas are quite high, and I am truly terrified that my daughter will grow up hating her body. I know that I, as a parent, can control how she feels about herself, but being in a social environment where thinness is so desired can be unhealthy for a girl.
Because of this, I want to plan it so that my daugher will not take dance or gymnastics...I don't want to risk it. I mean, she can be happy with other sports, right? I am scared that she will develop a serious eating disorder.
What do you guys think?
2006-08-24 14:45:03 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
I know I should let the child do what she's interested in, but I want to introduce her to a few things so she can choose for herself. Should I eliminate dance and gymnastics from this?
2006-08-24 14:50:13 · update #1
Two things: I'm not choosing what she will do...I want to expose her to several things, and let her find what she likes for herself
Second thing: I'm not "crazy and controlling." I've been bulimic for 6 years, and I am willing to do anything to make sure my daughter will never have to go through the depression, anxiety, and medical problems.
2006-08-24 14:54:47 · update #2
Gymnastics and dance can be great for children at a younger age. They can increase cordination and self confidence. If your daughter begins to show an extended intrest in either gymnastics or dance, choose the right facilities. See if you can sit in a higher level gymnastics class, and see how the coaches interact with the girls. If they have more of a negative approach to these girls and they seem overwhelmed or stressed then prehaps a different facility would be better. Right now I coach gymnastics, and the facility I work out does not push girls into being PERFECT gymnasts with perfect bodies, rather they work individually with the girls and try to get them to execute skills that their bodies allow them to do. Also with strength and conditioning these girls are fine.
With the experiences that you have you have an edge over other parents. You will be more aware of your daughters needs, and you can insure that she has healthy eating habits. I wish you luck, and the fact that you are concerned shows that you will be an awesome parent. Just remember your daughter might not be even intrested in these sports so just play it by ear and don't stress about it!
2006-08-24 17:50:37 · answer #1 · answered by Trick B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe I am just crazy too :) but I don't think you are being ridiculous. I can understand your fears completely.
I think that a better way to do it would be to let her enroll if she wants to and then just do everything you can to foster a good body image and teach her that body shape is not everything!
To tell you the truth, she could develop an eating disorder as the result of being in many situations. The only way to prevent that is to do all you can to promote good body image to her.
2006-08-24 22:10:23 · answer #2 · answered by Miro 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can certainly expose her to dance and gymnastics but be prepared that she might not like it. Show her a bunch of different activities and you both will find out soon enough what she likes. She might just like sitting at home watching TV and that's okay too. But let it be HER decision and be supportive no matter what it is she likes.
2006-08-24 21:52:12 · answer #3 · answered by BAnne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you'll be conscientious enough to educate her and be there for here when she needs you. There is so much to worry about and odds are she'll be pressured by someone to do something with horrible consequences; whether it's to be thin, smoke drugs, or whatever. If you are open and understanding, she'll come to you with these challenges. You can't shield her from the ugliness of the world. Your role as a mom is to prepare her, love her, and support her so she can tackle life's ugliness, informed and with a level-head.
BTW, Ana_Banana: things take take. It'll catch up with you.
2006-08-24 21:56:42 · answer #4 · answered by K 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We all have dreams for our children. You are already a wonderful parent by asking this question. You must allow her to choose what interests her. It is how children learn and develop. They must try new things to discover their own unique talents and gifts. They must learn how to fail and how to keep going.
These are very important life lessons...so support her in her choices and see what happens. You can cross the bridge when you get to it...when and if problems develop along the way. It is crucial to her well-being that she knows she is loved for who she is...whatever that may turn out to be...and regardless of her choices.
2006-08-24 21:56:02 · answer #5 · answered by riverhawthorne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i understand what you mean that u are scared for her. If she does decide to do ballet or gymnastics, dont hold her back, just explain to her the importance of staying healthy and not to let others form who she is. With good parenting, it shouldnt become a problem.
2006-08-24 21:52:57 · answer #6 · answered by kangaroo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She will have a better chance of developing an eating disorder if you continue to have such a controlling personality (which you obviously have). I mean, look, you have decided what you want her to do b/c of what YOU like. What about what she likes? Then you want to tell her what not to do b/c of what you are afraid she will become, which will apparently displease you.
Ask her what she wants to be and let her do it. If she gets an eating disorder it isn't the end of the world.
2006-08-24 21:51:40 · answer #7 · answered by kristen 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you think that way, why let her out of the house, something may go wrong. yeah, your being ridiculous. when i started playing musical instruments, they wouldnt let me play the sax because they heard it would split your lip. i couldnt do other things that everyone else did because of their paranoria. so if you want your kid to resent you for the rest of your life, be that way. they will allways think, what would of happened if, and so will you.
2006-08-24 22:01:53 · answer #8 · answered by chris l 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let the kid do what she wants. If you choose the activities, she may not concur. If you choose ballet, she may like baseball.
2006-08-24 21:48:50 · answer #9 · answered by Buzz s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋