How can i deal with the stress of not being able to see my boyfriend?

Question

I've been dating my boyfriend for about a month and it's been going good so far the only thing is that i met him online and he lives about an hour an a half from me but we both don't have our own cars and we only see each other about once a month. Even though we talk on the phone everyday and talk online it doesn't seem to be enough for me or for him. What are some ways for both of us to deal with the fact that we can't see or be with each other everyday like other couples?

Answer 1

The first few weeks are the hardest, I am currently in a long distance relationship my GF is 5 + hrs. away. You have a good start on keeping it together. I`m not gonna tell you what the "best" thing to do is because it's different for each relationship and you just have to kinda figure it out on your own. However I can give you some tips and tell you what I do.
Talk on the phone as much as possible but try to stay away from the fact that the distance sucks and you wish you were there yatta yatta, instead talk about what you and he did today. Do you get new clothes, have a fight with a friend whatever tell him and ask him whats goin on in his life, Guys don't really mind listening to girls but once and a while we would like to know that you care about what's goin on in our lives.
Second myspace or at least email. Myspace is nice especially if they blog it`ll give you stuff to talk about. Email work nicely to. Whenever I`m missing my GF I take about 20 minutes and just type whats going on and send it to her. We like to know whats going on in girls lives especially when your far away.
Write letters, it's a great way of giving him something to hold on to and trust me he'll read it several times. p.s. scent is the strongest sense tied to memory so if you went on a special date and wore a certain perfume maybe put a few spritz on it to help remind him your here.
well those are the main things and as you go along you'll develope inside jokes, quirky voices and saying that only you two will understand but will connect you until you can see each other.

Answer 2

Without knowing you, him or the situation, several things come to mind and may not be relevant, but here goes:

1) This relationship is new, so be a little cautious. Trust takes time to develop.

2) Try very hard to get yourself involved in something that you'll enjoy so that you can focus on other things. This has an added advantage in that it can also build character and give you more to offer in relationships - an over simplified generality, but it's true. The more things you know about, the more things you can talk to with other people. Maybe something like guitar lessons, a book club, or volleyball. The hardest part is often the first step.

3) Raging hormones settle down a little when you get good exercise. Pump it out, kick it out, combine with #2, learn tennis, something vigorous.

4) If you don't see any other options to your once a month face time with your boyfriend, then talk to yourself. Tell yourself that this is how it is and you're going to accept things as they are, for now and see what happens as you get to know each other a little better. Make lemonade from lemons as they say. (Turn that energy to solving the fuel crisis! We'd be a lean clean green planet again if all the sexually frustrated energy in the world were directed in that direction - I digress).

5) Start a journal and write and read about the progress you are making, as an individual and as a girl friend to this fellow.

6) Again, be cautious. Are you about the same age? Are both or either of you working? Do not give this person money and do not make any plans to live with him until you know a lot more about him and have had a chance to see how he is with other people, is he responsible, is he kind and thoughtful, etc. Does he encourage you to maintain and enjoy your friends and make new friends? Or does he discourage you from having relationships and enjoying activities that he's not involved in? talking to others?

7) Play the field until you are able to see each other more regularly. It seems the fair thing to me for both of you.

Long distance relationships are not easy, especially when you both do not drive.

Good Luck. God Bless.

Answer 3

u know its hard 4 men to really open up, the thing is to make him comfortable,feel non threatened and ask him what the real prob is. Its probably stress w new expectations that he feels he cant meet in relationships, u arent in it for the good times only, u should have told him u dont wanna"have fun" without him, cos its not the party,food,drinks thats fun, its him and u and then the rest of da things he could be mixed up in debts/drugs-these have been known to drastically alter pples moods, but ull never kno till u ask but if u also ask him he might pull away from u. u need to just get close to him, its like taming a wild hor\se, no sudden mvts, no pressure,just listern, put ur complaints/anxieties/frustrations and questions aside just be an understanding shoulder(dont take abuse tho, it aint worth it), just till he is fine otherwise hell say u only think abt urself ask once, if he wont say dont ask again cos hell feel pressured, let him feel that he can come to u and tell u,it will take time dont rush into being intimate w him again, u might feel used and he might use u tho not intentionally-it complicates things, dont base relationship on sex, first find the love,respect , trust, companionship call him once in a long while no pressures of being reunited,just concern, dont overdo it cos hell probably flee.

Answer 4

Try to talk on the phone even more often, use any means of communication that you can (text messages, emails, IMs, even letters)! Sometime you should try to set up a special day like on an anniversary and maybe meet up with him and have a date! Hope this helps!! I also haven't seen my boyfriend in over 2 months!

Answer 5

I know how you feel. Hopefully he can find a better way for transportation to see you or you can. I don't have a car but he does and he still has two teenagers (girls) at home and we haven't seen each other for a month.Try to find some other options and try to keep busy so the time will go by faster. Good Luck!!!

Answer 6

I can understand how you feel, but that is nothing compared to my parents have been apart for 3 years after being married for 21 years. He is working out of the country and she has to stay here and work. They can't see each other but only talk on the phone. so girl you have it easy.

Answer 7

Talk to him on the phone as much as possible,and write him when you cant talk. I know it sucks right now but consider this: My husband and I met on a plane. He was stationed in Anchorage,AK and I was in Orlando, FL. (talk abot long distance) We had a hard time not seeing eachother for awhile, but finally I moved up to Anchorage to be with him. If you really care for this guy, hang in there and see what happens. Make sure he is as serious about you as you are about him, otherwise,move on. good Luck,gal.

Answer 8

Phone Sex! Lots and lots of phone sex...that stuff works wonders, especially if you're in a long distance relationship...I hope everything works out for you and your boyfriend. Don't listen to what other people say about having an affair. That's down right grimy. Always be faithful...good things will come your way.

Answer 9

I have been with the same guy for six years but two years ago he went away to school for two full years. Talking is the only thing you can do and remember to make the time you are together extra special!!

Answer 10

This is what you call a long distance relationship. You or him will have to move to be closer to one another. If not then just continue doing what you guys are doing now. There isn't much you can do. If it becomes serious then like I said think about one of you guys moving. Good luck