RE: please help me i need advice?

Question

my boyfriend just recently broke up with me and i don't know why he did it and i feel like it is my fault that he broke up with me ....i feel like i did something wrong

here is what happened ......my boyfriend said lets be friends so i told him that i was willing to be friends but when i told him that he said that he did'nt mean to brake up with me that he was not thinking and i told him give me some time to think and he kept on pressureing me to go back out with him ....kept on messageing me on yahoo and on my sites that after that i called him and he kept asking me again on the phone will you go back out me i hope you say yes to going back out with me and i said no can we still be friends and he told me that he was a little disportment and he said i guess this is goodbye .........and now we are not speaking because he would'nt listen to how i felt and what i wanted to do and the important of all he would not listen to me

here is what happened ......my boyfriend said lets be friends so i told him that i was willing to be friends but when i told him that he said that he did'nt mean to brake up with me that he was not thinking and i told him give me some time to think and he kept on pressureing me to go back out with him ....kept on messageing me on yahoo and on my sites that after that i called him and he kept asking me again on the phone will you go back out me i hope you say yes to going back out with me and i said no can we still be friends and he told me that he was a little disportment and he said i guess this is goodbye .........and now we are not speaking because he would'nt listen to how i felt and what i wanted to do and the important of all he would not listen to me and that hurt the most

and he said it was'nt me that he does that to the people he loves the most i don't know why i'm so sad i thought i would be over this already

Answer 1

Break ups are a normal part of life. Perhaps this is your first, but you shouldn't feel guilty. He's the one who left, you stayed true. You may never know why, but even if you knew the reason, it will never seem right.

The fact is people change. And its nobody's fault. Do not blame yourself, and do not blame him.

You are expected to have trouble accepting this... this is normal. There is a chemical in your brain called, Oxytocin. It is what bonds people together. See.....

http://www.oxytocin.org/oxytoc/index.html


When you love someone, your brain makes Oxytocin. When you cuddle with your boyfriend, your brain makes more Oxytocin. After a while you just need to see him, or think of him and you know what? Your brain makes more Oxytocin. You know what you have to do to get over him... Yes.. you can't see him, speak to him, or else,.,,, more Oxytocin.

I know this isn't easy right now, but a day will come and you will look back on this and wonder, "Oh my God, what did I see in him? What was I thinking??"

Really, you'll do just fine.

Answer 2

Well just look at it like a blessing because there is someone out there who probably is way better, and do not blame yourself, just go on and if you really must know why he broke up with you than just be a woman and ask him, if he won't give you an answer than he was not worth having in the first place.

Answer 3

I'm sorry you are in such pain. It's never anything one wants to have happen. There is something in your question that bothers me a lot and it is this: You say, "I feel like it is my fault. . ." It's OK that you feel badly. But I'd rather you wonder "What happened?" or "Why didn't we get along?" Feeling that it is your fault and that you did something wrong MAY lead you to accept disrespect, or other unhealthy behavior from a guy in the future just to keep him with you. That's not a good thing because it can lead to guys running roughshod over you. And if it gets bad enough it lead to physical and emotional abuse.

Answer 4

Guys are so complicated... and I honestly dont think it is worth your time blaming yourself!
If you want to know, just ask him, try and talk about it... but like I said before, guys are complicated and he probably wont tell you an honest answer, or blame you.
But I wouldnt sweat it. Look for love somewhere else, or if now love, fun... Good luck!

Answer 5

You could ask him. If he broke up with you and he wasn't man enough to tell you why, maybe you should think twice about wanting him back. Unless you like playing games.

Answer 6

first of all there are always TWO people equally involved and equally at fault in a relationship, well sometimes three... but that is another question... back to the point... it is as much his fault as yours and you can not blame yourself.. sometimes these things happen... plenty of other fishes in the goldfish bag baby girl.... lol

Answer 7

I think he's the one who did something wrong..and if he aint man enough to admit it and not man enough to tell you why he broke up with you...you dont need him..just think, if he is hiding something from you, what kind of future would you have with him eh?..your better off not knowing and better off without him.

Answer 8

just ask him why he broke up w/u. but,before all that u shouldn`t feel like it was u`r fault.( if he loves u he will tell u but, if not than it was something he did or doesn`t want 2 tell u.

Answer 9

Breaks ups are so hard. Just go talk to.Ask him why and if he is a true friend or at least a true gentleman he will talk to you and tell you why. It will be ok.Dont worry

Answer 10

Talk to him and ask him can he explain to you why yall broke up. You want to know not only for your help but for closure if you are ready to move on.