What's the earliest age you should start spanking as punishment?

Question

I don't believe in time-outs. I think they are lame. I'm talking about beatings either...I'm talking about a good swat on the butt for acting up.

Answer 1

My advice is only spank if they do something VERY bad or if they do something that puts them in danger. Spanking a child for every small behavioral thing will make the effects go away quickly.

Answer 2

Although I am not against spanking, as a rule I feel it should be only used as a last resort, and to teach children about issues concerning safety. Physcial pain as a discipline becomes less effective the more it's used, so it should be used sparingly, both for the child and his parent.

To answer your question, at 10 months children start to learn cause and effect. You can start laying the foundation for discipline then, but physical removal is truly the most effective at that age. At about 18 months, they start to disobey a little more willfully, and then true discipline, like time-outs, becomes more meaningful. Still, I thnk this is even too early for any spanking. I would say sometime around 30-36 months kids really start to understand when you correct them, and this would be the earliest that spanking would even have a positive effect.

If the point of discipline is to teach your child about consequences to their actions, be careful about what tactics you choose. If all you want to do is spank, then your child will probably think that he's allowed to do things until he's spanked. Eventually he will go to school, where he will not be spanked, which means he might not respond to any correction by a teacher. And unless you want every babysitter or family member to be allowed to spank your child, you will need to find more intermediate forms of discipline.

Personally, I think the best form of discipline is positive reinforcement. Kids listen more to being encouraged for doing the right thing than being scolded for the wrong. I also think kids have a pattern of "acting up" that can be predicted and re-directed by an attentive parent BEFORE the behavior occurs. All children will push their boundaries, though, and need some form of correction. For us, the most effective is the removal of something the child cherishes- a toy, mom's attention, being sent to be alone in their room.

Good luck!

Answer 3

in case you do spank, why do you do it? because all different technique of self-discipline did not artwork on the time. Do you sense it fairly solves something? because I don’t do it regularly and could use vacation or taking away toys first. definite it does help, searching on the project and the rationalization behind self-discipline. What age did you commence? 2 yrs old were you spanked as a baby? definite Did you regularly 'comprehend' you would possibly want to be the spanking sort of make certain or did you hotel to this after different strategies did not artwork? Nope, i myself don’t fairly spank my son. We tried it because I had tried ALL (and that i mean ALL) different strategies. I even visited the pediatrician previously attempting to spank. And his suggestion, “You’ve carried out each little thing precise, I advise you're attempting spanking as a very last hotel”. i tried it, it didn’t help, so we didn’t use it. there will be random situations at the same time as i'd spank, yet i visit’t even inform you the superb time I spanked my son. because it’s been a minimum of 6 months. It doesn’t artwork on my son, yet I’m faraway from adversarial to spanking….

Answer 4

In Canada, where I live, It is illegal to hit a child under the age of 2.. even your own. Here, hitting a child under 2 is considered abuse.. and I agree. Having said that.. I believe a good age for a solid swat for not listening is 3.. then, they are mentally capable of knowing what is and isn't acceptable. They know that there are consequences to their actions, and they know how to behave for more prolonged periods of time.
2 year olds (and under) just can't do it. They don't have the mental capacity yet to understand those things. So I think 3 is fine. That's when I started giving my son a swat. I don't think spanking is wrong, but I think that the punishment should fit the crime.. and spanking isn't right for every wrong.

Answer 5

I personally spank my son when he does something really bad or he doesn't listen to me. I think a spanking here and there is needed so they get the point. Some people refuse to discipline their children and then when they get older they wonder why their kids don't listen to them and back mouth them. I have heard people tell their own mother to shut up and stuff along those lines and the parents just sat there and didn't do anything about it. Let one of my children tell me to shut up or curse at me!!!!! I started spanking my son when he was 2 if he did something really bad, didn't listen to me, or back mouthed me and now everybody compliments me on how well behaved he is. Now I am not talking about beating the kid but a good wack on the butt, the hand or the leg is needed sometime. If he back mouths me I wack him in the mouth. Spanking your child is not illegal unless you use an object(belt, stick, ect.) to hit them with. that is considered a weapon and abuse and something that I would NEVER do.

Answer 6

If you decide to spank:

NEVER do it before the kid is 3, or before he/she is capable of understanding what the spanking is for
NEVER do it anywhere else but the behind, hands should be off limits since hitting them might later increase their changes of developing arthritis or unsightly veins
NEVER use anything else but your bare hand, that way you can measure the strength
And
NEVER do it while angry, calm down first, decide this is the only way to go and then do it (** this one is hard). If you do it angry your kids will remember your feelings and how you treated them… but not the lesson that had to be learned

This will be up to you, just make sure you are not planting seeds for anger, low confidence, hate or depression. Every kid is different and your might not need spanking.

As for acting up, ignoring them is the best punishment. Kids often act up because they want attention, and spanking them, even when it is not the nice kind of attention is still attention.

Answer 7

When my husband and I started our training to become foster parents, we had to take a class in behavior management which gave you alternatives to using physical punishment as discipline. We were both spanked as children and didn't see any reason why a child could not be spanked when necessary. However, we are not allowed to use spankings as discipline on foster children in our care.

We became foster parents to a little girl who was physically abused at a young age. If we were to spank her, we would just be another set of adults that beat on her. I also agree that it does teach children that the only way to deal with your frustration is to be physical. We utilize the alternatives taught to us and find them to be effective. She learned really quick that if she exceeds the boundaries we've set for her that there are consequences. Isn't that the real point you're trying to make?

Answer 8

I am a mother of 3 kids....my oldest a son....who is 17yrs old...and my daughters are 14 yrs, old and 11 yrs old. .when my son and his sisters were 1-2 yrs old, I started out with a firm smack on the hand....and a "no" or " don't do that" and gradually built up, depending on the tantrums that the kids did! But most of the time, I was laid back....and they only got swats.... not spankings....that way they would know I meant business! And I still threaten that I will spank them....but they know that I won't do that any more!! rofl

Answer 9

The first time my son got spanked, he was just over 3.

We had moved into a new house in a new city. He just up and walked out the front door. I ran out got him, told him No, it was dangerous. Gave him some toys and told him to stay in the family room and play.

Less then 2 minutes later, he was out the door. I ran and got him again. Put him in the corner for a time out. Went to the bathroom, came out and guess where he was? Yup, walking down the street.

I spanked his butt until my hand was red. His response was 'I am not going to let it hurt and I am not going to cry'. He sat down in one spot for the rest of the day and did not move.

The next day the locksmith came and put on some new locks.

He was a tough cookie, and the reason I spanked was that what he was doing was dangerous. Spankings were reserved for when he did something dangerous and did not listen.

Answer 10

I have always spanked my kids, I don't hit them hard, just to get there attention. I think 2 is fine. I would give time outs and they don't always work. But remember to explain to them why they are getting a swat. Get down to their level, bend down and talk to them face to face.
Disipline makes well behaved children/

Answer 11

I would not spank before the child's 2nd birthday. Children younger than 2 will not associate the pain of the spanking with the misdeed.