Is it normal to hold things in that your partner has done and finally blow up after about a month. If you read my previous question you will know what is going on...Anyway we broke up today because I say mean things that hurt him when I finally get mad.
2006-08-24 12:15:10 · 12 answers · asked by haleigh b 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ok so here is the deal. We started dating Memorial Day Weekend, everything was great for a while....until he started having no money. I did not understand becuase he has a good job. So this weekend we sat down and I looked at his bills and his bank statement, and for the past few months he has had no money left over from his paychecks due to the bills he has to pay. They are not trivial bills either, house pymt, car, insurance, taxes...things like that.
Well I have been putting gas in his truck and buying everything for him and I know he appreciates it but he does not show it. It really hurts my feelings. All I do is try to please him and it bites me in the ***.
He is always seeming depressed cause of his situation and I have to deal with that, but when I act like him its a major deal. I want to be with him, but I cannot support him like I have been.
I don't know what to do. I told him that we needed a break, but I just want things to be the way they used to be.
2006-08-24 12:16:22 · update #1
I just wish it was easier to move on becuase it really stinks cause my life has been centered around him and I have not focused on myself in a long time. I took him to the Dave Matthews Concert last weekend cause he really wanted to go. I just feel really used.
8 hours ago
Well I know for a fact that he is not cheating, I practically live there. Oh one more thing. We live an hour and 15 min away from each other and after I get off work usually around 6. I drive up to stay with him and get up early for work. I know I am an idiot but when you truly want to be with someone you can't stay away and want to see them all the time. I wish it was different.
8 hours ago
Also he wants me to move in cause he said he needs help, and I told him that I do not want to be your room mate I want to be your girlfriend. I told him that I want to be married before I move in with you, and he said we wont be. I know he really cares for me but I just feel so freaking used here.
2006-08-24 12:17:35 · update #2
That was my previous question. It is just so draining to see him sitting around depressed all the time, not wanting to have sex, and pretty much taking it out on me. I do not want to waste my time anymore, but on the other hand i feel like I am being trivial. But i feel bad cause he can just let me go so easily!!! I HATE THIS!!!
2006-08-24 12:20:28 · update #3
Guys say only girls do this.
2006-08-24 12:16:29 · answer #1 · answered by Seth W 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sweetie...you are being used. This man is using you like a sugar mama. He already knows you will cater to what he wants. He has made his bills and now needs to be responsible. Your not responsible to wipe his bottom because he made his messes. He is using you to get everything else he wants while he pays the bills he has over extended his self on.
It will not change. If you continue to be with him or move in with him, you will continue to support him. He knows that and that is the only reason he wants you to move in and the only reason he keeps you around. Because he knows he can get you to take care of him.
Don't be the dumb female here. You have already gotten it figured out. Go back and read everything you have put in here. Think about it. Read it allowed to yourself. Hear what you have said. Put yourself in the place of giving the answer to this question if it were someone else...what advice would you give them. Then take your own advice.
Get out of this relationship fast. Its going nowhere. You are being used and your worth much more than that as a person.
2006-08-24 19:32:24 · answer #2 · answered by shy_tender_lady 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not unusual, but it's not healthy. If you get hurt, you don't do him any favors by keeping it to yourself. You need to call him on it, but under the assumption that it was plain innocent stupidity, not any type of malice. When you release bottled-up aggression, you cross the line into cruelty, which in a relationship should be unforgivable. Maybe you can convince him to forgive you, but there's no sense trying unless you can permanently manage your anger and pain in a healthier way.
2006-08-24 19:20:06 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal. But I would work on not doing it anymore. When you hold things in that annoy you about your SO, you end up hurting them more than if you would have just told them in the first place, because you say things in the heat of anger that you should never say.
2006-08-24 19:17:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not abnormal. But you're obviously an attractive girl, why are you supporting a deadbeat guy who is living beyond his means? I'd die of embarrassment if my girlfriend had to fuel up my car because I couldn't afford to. Sweetie, don't you know you could do better than him?
2006-08-24 19:21:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take a break for a month or so and then see how things go after that.
2006-08-24 19:21:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
He's not going to change... accept it at that...
If you are willing to live like you described you have been, then go for it... if not , cut your losses and don't look back... Someone is out there that will appreciate you fully...
2006-08-24 19:23:13 · answer #7 · answered by deakjone 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to get a second job, or a new one that pays better
2006-08-24 19:20:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's normal
2006-08-24 19:26:20 · answer #9 · answered by joesy617 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well then there you have it
Normal no, typical yes
2006-08-24 19:16:33 · answer #10 · answered by Xae 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋