My fiance has a groomsman that has not gone to get fitted yet and the wedding is in 3 weeks. We have a replacement for him ready to go but we are unsure of how to let him know we can not waste anymore time waiting for him to get his act together to do it. He is a good friend of my fiance's so how can we do it without hurting his feelings? Need some different approaches...
2006-08-24 10:58:37 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
We have reminded him 3 times in the last 3 weeks. We tried to call him last night 5 times and nothing...
2006-08-24 11:02:32 · update #1
ask him if he really wants to be in the wedding, cause you would understand if he dont
2006-08-24 11:01:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Man, you really find out whose for you when you're getting married. This is not fair to you and your fiance. I actually had the same thing happen to me when I got married with 2 of the bridesmaids. They would not get fitted and the dresses were being made. So 2 months before the wedding,I told them that I decided to have a smaller wedding party due to stress of the wedding planning. That same day, I asked another friend and a cousin to fill their spots and they (cousin and friend) got fitted within the next 2 days. Is money a problem for him? If so, then maybe your fiance can help in some way with the tuxedo. If money is not a problem, then I suggest you all go with the replacement. You can't wait on this guy because if he gets fitted and needs alterations done, then this will delay things even further. Personally, I wouldn't keep asking a grown man to get fitted when he agreed to be in the wedding and the wedding is 3 weeks away. As a friend, he shouldn't be procrastinating in what is one of the most important days in his friend's life.
Since you all have been asking him to get fitted and he hasn't done so, I would just tell him like this;
Friend, since we are pushing for time and everyone should have been fitted by now, we decided to drop your groomsman position. We can't afford to keep waiting and hoping that nothing goes wrong with your fitting. We actually needed this done 2 weeks ago so now it is too late for you to get fitted. Sorry.
*but you can still come to the wedding (lol).
2006-08-24 20:39:21 · answer #2 · answered by Shay 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My husband had a groomsman who waited a lot closer to the wedding than that. It's aggravating, isn't it?! My brothers, who were ushers, were wearing the same thing, so just in case he didn't pan out, one of them was going to step in even at the last minute. Don't be too hard on the guy--boys don't understand the importance of these things! Our problem groomsman was going through a stressful time in his life, which is why he was being so difficult. I had to call and fuss at Patrick personally, and he finally got fitted. Just try to impress upon him the importance of being measured, any way you can. If he still won't be fitted, don't "fire" him; just let him know that he's an honorary groomsman but doesn't match the wedding party so he can't stand. Hopefully it will work out without anyone's toes being stepped on!
2006-08-24 20:02:08 · answer #3 · answered by Jenny Alice 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get in touch with him and tell him he needs to be fitted by a particular day, or he can't be a groomsman.
Keep in mind that this will damage the friendship, and the back-up groomsman won't have much time to order his tux either.
I would just hound him about it relentlessly. Honestly, the tuxedo place does not need that much time. It takes about a day to set measurements and get the tux to the store. I mean, they have the guys in for a final fitting the day before the wedding, and if the tux doesn't fit they order one next day delivery.
Also, perhaps he doesn't have the money to order the tux right now. Maybe offer to front that cost for him?
2006-08-24 23:18:06 · answer #4 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot demote someone from your wedding party. It is rude. There is no nice way to do it.
The groomsman you want to step down-- if you have a chat with him and HE offers to step down because he's having some sort of problem, then that's OK, but you can't tell him you want him to step down.
A "replacement"? Why do you need a replacement? And wow, what an insult to the replacement person, like they are second string... You do not need the number of people on both sides to match, if that is what you're thinking.
2006-08-24 22:22:15 · answer #5 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's a really good friend of the groom's, the groom should just drive over there, pick him up and take him to get fitted. Sometimes you've just got to do everything for the male species... Don't give him the option of backing out, he'll be sorry later if he does. Talk to him - maybe it's a money issue....
2006-08-24 18:06:48 · answer #6 · answered by Kristi C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
his feelings are going to get hurt regardless. i would call him again, leave him a message if you don't talk to him directly and tell him "just wanted to see if you have had time to get fitted for your tux. We are coming down to the wire with the wedding and I need to know so i can make other arrangements if you aren't able to be in the wedding. Please give me a call back by the end of the weekend to let me know. If we don't hear from you we will make other arrangements...hope all is well and hope to hear from you soon!"
If for some reason he shows up in his tux, just have one girl walk with two guys. I'm sure it's the LAST thing you want to deal with right before your wedding. Good luck and congrats, how exciting.
2006-08-24 18:06:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Show up at his home or job and ask if he wants to be in the wedding. Give him a date as to when he has to show for his fitting and let him know if he is a no show you have no choice but to get a replacement. Let him know if he wants out you don't mind and he is still invited to attend your wedding.
2006-08-24 18:28:18 · answer #8 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The groom has to handle this. He asked the fellow to join the wedding, so it's his job.
He has to call him and say the following: "Have you been to the tux shop? The wedding is in three weeks. We need you. If you can't do it, please tell me now so I can get a replacement."
Wait a week. If he still hasn't done it. Call and say: "I really want you to be in the wedding, but we can't wait any longer. We're going to get someone else. Please attend the wedding anyway."
That's it.
2006-08-24 18:03:32 · answer #9 · answered by Otis F 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
One thing to keep in mind -- maybe he doesn't have the money? Get your fiancee to call him and ask him to meet at the house before going out for drinks. On the way to the bar, stop for the fitting! Good luck!
2006-08-24 18:34:14 · answer #10 · answered by wahine 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
His feelings are going to get hurt, but if he's a good friend he'll get over it. Just be straight without being judgemental. It's about YOUR wedding.
2006-08-24 18:02:15 · answer #11 · answered by LAUGHING MAGPIE 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋