I told my BF about the time when I was raped?

Question

he wants to hunt the guy down and kill him even though it was 3 years ago. I personally am completly over it, and it doesnt bother me at all.

However he was saying that the thought made him sick to his stomach and he would have never guessed that i had been in a position like that before (i am kind of a tough girl)

I have never told anyone about this besides him

Should I have kept it to myself? will this change how he looks at me? anyone else tell their boyfriend about something like this and what was the reaction?

Answer 1

My wife told me that she was raped and she gave me some detail as to how it happened, I wanted to kill the guy, I was mad. Then I talked to her about it and I started to blame her for it, but I got over that. She isn't over it and it happened a long time ago she says she's over it but I know she's not it has affected things in our relationship mostly in the bedroom. But like I said she claims to be over it so she won't go to see a shrink about it. And I try to talk about it but she either avoids it or I'll start out trying to do something good then I end up avoiding it. Yes, I think that you should have told him but you need to really lay the cards on the table with yourself and ask if your really over it. I think my wife wanted to tell me (which was when we were just dating) to see what my reaction was and because she isn't over it but isn't sure of how to talk about it. I don't know what to do/say myself.

Answer 2

I've been told that before and my I will protect my people attitude flared up. Men we like to fix things that we think are broken, even though your over it, by telling him maybe he assumed a part of you isn't over it so he turns into He man and he will stop at nothing before this guy's head is bashed in.

I heard a famous person say, you know out to spot a good marriage, look at the bite marks on thier toungs. What I mean by that is you can't tell you BF everything, becasue he's human like the rest of us and there are things he can't handle ( as a Man that is tough to admit) but it's true.

If something like that ever happend to me I'd Kill the bastard and anyone who joked about it. I wouldn't look to heal and understand straight up I'd look to kill and I might kill myself. I know I couldn't handle it and I'm a big black dude that aint scared of sh*t. Thats something I never want to deal with.

Answer 3

Well let him know you're over it and the past is in the past. There was nothing wrong with telling him about it. It just means that you trusted him a great deal to let him know.

He won't look at you any different. He might become over protecting though. And the though of you being alone with a guy and it happening again may pop in his head from time to time.

Just be sure to calm him down and reassure him about the situation.

Answer 4

Yeah i got rapped twice before and an physical abusive relationship. i only told my boyfriend. He was really pissed when I told him. He didnt talk to me for the whole day. But the next day he cried. (still mad) but he told me that he couldn;t believe that a guy could do that to me. And he hugged me. I've gotten over it too. But I still think about it. I was cautious about dating before i met him. He is very understanding. But that made him very mad. Hearing that I got rapped. And he said he would kill the guy if he knew me back then when it happened. I though i should have kept it to myself. But I felt more better. I thought that it would change the way he looked at me. I felt that way for about a month. But then we got over it just like we always do with our problems just talk about them. And go on with our lives. He was glad that i told him because. it gave him a better understand about somethings and the way I act sometimes about certain things.The past is the past right?

Answer 5

My girlfriend told me about being raped 13 years ago and I also want to kill the sick as$hole. I don't know the whole story so it causes a lot of problems in our relationship.

Answer 6

Hi there,

I told my Ex boyfriend about it, and he said the same things, all it took was for me to talk to him, I had to show him that I was over it, and that I was fine. It didn't change our relationship at all, we broke up 5 years later over something else. Tell him that his rage makes it obvious that he cares about you, but if he really wanted to show affection it would be better for him to do nothing.

Hope I helped

Answer 7

It might change the way he looks at you, he may not be strong enough to handle something like that. And if he isn't good riddens.
btw....I would let him hunt that guy down

Answer 8

my ex told me about a similar situation and in the beginning i was kind of shocked and didn't know how to react thats probably where he is coming from, so thats how he reacted. eventually in the relationship this information was helpful because it gave me insight to why she felt certain ways, so since you felt comfortable to tell him and no one else, i think it will be a good thing he knows in the long run.

Answer 9

Your boyfriend sounds like he really loves you, that is why he got upset when you told him. It hurts him so bad that something so awful could happen to his special girl. You have good man there!

Answer 10

I don't think anyone completely gets over being raped. If you are serious about your bf and trust him, I don't see any harm in telling him about your assault.