Let's put it this way...my gf has a "decorated" past with all sorts of lovely "honors" and medals...One of them is sleeping with more than 26 guys...Which while she argues she had no emotional connection with them, I have a tough time understanding this fact. While I didn't mean it, some of my comments/criticisms made her feel like a slu.t and apparently I was the first person ever to make her feel this way. While I never intended to do that, I cannot help but display my disapproval/dissapointment about her past.
She feels as if I am being wayyy too judgemental. I honestly tell her a judgment is nothing but a person's opinion...Who are we to tell people can or cannot hold certain opinions?
2006-08-24 10:10:47 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ok so far the answers are not too bad...Yet it seems to me that you guys are missing the point and not able to argue against my claim of a judgement essentially being a rendering of one's own opinion. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion...Right?!
2006-08-24 10:19:09 · update #1
In response to Ms. Chanel's claim that I have a past...well I guess I do...but I tell it to her openly and plainly...and TRUST ME she gets on my back about it too...
2006-08-24 10:22:34 · update #2
Really interesting to note however, that only (I presume based upon avatars etc) that women have responded...Im curious to see what some guys have to say on this matter...
2006-08-24 10:23:50 · update #3
Well did you know about her past first of all. If yes, then you're a jerk, simply put. And keep in mind that being "judgemental" is not a good quality in anyone. ANd what about your past? Have you lived a perfect life? Somehow, I'm doubting it.
2006-08-24 10:19:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First i would like to address your post by saying that having checked out your other posts i would be of the judgment that you are very educated. However the simple fact that you posted a question of the very same nature IE. "judgmental" leads me to think you consider yourself so much better than anyone else period! i feel sorry in part for this poor "girlfriend" and sorry for you as well. Given the fact we are not privy to the fact that you knew this ladies past before becoming your "girlfriend" one can only wonder.Your comment which i found very disturbing "made her feel like a slut" was totally uncalled for. You made your point, we know you are so much better than everyone including all the people here including Miss Chanel, myself and all the people who answered you!!! I will sleep better knowing that the things in my past will never come back to haunt me cause someone like you knows about them!
2006-08-24 12:35:55 · answer #2 · answered by matt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not up to you to judge her or anyone else. Everyone comes with a past. My b/f has more notches on his belt then I do and had a lot of one night stands, but after some time I realized this was not who he is now. This is not what he does now.
It takes some time to get over just try not to say what you are thinking and apologize to her if you made her feel like that. But you have a past and she does too everyone's past made them the person that they are today. If you love her and you want to be with her you need to accept her past and concentrate on the future.
I hope things work out for you.
2006-08-24 10:15:30 · answer #3 · answered by Farmgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regarding judgement-vs-opinion: (a male Christian told me this)
an opinion is your thought on a matter, and this may change.
A judgement (which only God has the right to) involves moral principles involved, and is the verdict of right or wrong placed upon the thing being judged.
Similar, to a point.
2006-08-24 17:48:57 · answer #4 · answered by Zeera 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To keep bringing up her past is really childish and accomplishes nothing but possibly making her feels bad.
If she were out sleeping around NOW while you are dating then feel free to be judgemental. Her past is exactly that: hers.
If it bothers you, break it off. She can't change it and your 'opinions' won't help bring you guys any closer.
2006-08-24 10:14:33 · answer #5 · answered by empress_pam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all she trusted you enough to tell you this and now you are throwing it in her face. In a relationship you need trust and honest. So she was just being honest with you.So by what she was doing by telling you was saying that she thinks you are special to her.So just don't talk about this no more if you really love her just show her that you love her reguardless of her past.
2006-08-24 10:27:08 · answer #6 · answered by Randy P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What she did before you should not matter. You have a past too. You should never judge people. Get some self-esteem and realize she can't change things for you.
2006-08-24 10:13:19 · answer #7 · answered by Justsyd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First part. You have no self esteem. Second part. You are right.
2006-08-24 10:13:03 · answer #8 · answered by Karrien Sim Peters 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋