I am in love with this guy who is 21, and I am 18. My mom thinks I am too young to marry. Should I listen to her or my heart??
2006-08-24 10:04:49 · 48 answers · asked by Ellyn 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If you are asking this question, then yeah.
2006-08-24 10:06:38 · answer #1 · answered by masterurownmind 5 · 7⤊ 0⤋
They say it takes 2 years for the infatuation and lust stage to end and that you should only START to consider marriage after that time period. People just start to become their own person and be an individual around 25 years of age. I started dating my boyfriend when I was 18. We already knew within a year of dating that we would always be together. I went away to college and so did he and during that time we stayed exclusive to each other even though we were 400 miles apart. Three years ago he moved in and we've been happy ever since. It's true what they say, as I get older my wants, needs, and maturity have changed. I can say that I am a different person than when we met - and he has changed as well. We are still head over heels in love with each other and planning on marrying next year. Grow up a little bit more and grow with each other. If you have to ask if you are old enough, then you are probably not yet. Marriage is a big step and although I knew me and my guy would be getting married it wasn't until I turned 24 that I, personally, was ready to take the step. I'll be 25 in another month - and I've finally settled into myself. Outgrown puberty, went through the college life lessons, and become settled in the 9 to 5 work pace of an adult. The choice is up to you, but there is no real big reason to get married so young. It may work out for some people, but not most. Grow up and change, and as you do that, so will he - lets just hope that you grow with each other and not apart. Better to grow apart unmarried than in a marriage that turns sour fast - and it's better to grow close unmarried and leave the marriage for a time when you can support yourself financially and get a home together.
Good luck!
2006-08-24 10:51:54 · answer #2 · answered by rrhiannon99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 18 you probably just finished high school, are just starting college or a job and are probably still living at home. You have yet to fully embrace an adult life with all it's consequences. In the next 4 years you will grow beyond what you realize now. Everything will change.
In short, in a few small years, you won't be the same person that you are today. If you love this guy, get engaged and just mature some. 21 and 18 is very young to start a married life.
I know how the last 4 years have changed my children and their friends from teenagers to young adults. Just wait a little bit and you will be happy that you did.
2006-08-24 10:15:07 · answer #3 · answered by kny390 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Even if you could care less what your mother says I would wait at least 2 years if he really loves you he will wait.But it really depends I know some people who got married at 18 and it worked out great but i also know some people who were married at 18 and it worked out horribly.but it doesnt matter how old you are sometimes it just doesn't work out.I am not saying that it will not work out with you so if you think it feels right then go ahead.or there is always the option of having a long engagement!But if I was you I would listen to your heart but be careful sometimes your heart can tell you something bad or you can just think your heart is saying one thing and it means to say something else so listen to your heart but listen really carefully and make sure you know what it is saying
2006-08-24 10:49:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Always, always listen to your mom, especially in matters such as these. You are way too young to be married. Go to college, get your education, and live your life. You'll literally be moving from your parents home to your married home. You need to experience life as a single person for awhile, there's so many things that you really can best do while your single, once your married there's all sorts of reasons why you can't travel like you want, etc. My sister's single and 26, she has a group of girlfriends that have traveled all over the world. They went to China in May, they're going to Australia next year. You can't do stuff like that if you're married, there's other demands on the family finances. Good luck!
2006-08-24 12:34:46 · answer #5 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are too young. If you haven't dated a lot of guys, then this 21 year old looks great to you, but honestly, your Mom wants you to wait and date more guys so you have a comparison. And when you do, I will be the 21 year old doesn't look as appealing as he does now. Remember, when you get married the parties, dating, and carefree life come to a halt; then when a baby comes along, they really end. Why not give yourself at least a couple of years. And by the way, if you have to ask us what you should do, YOU ARE NOT READY FOR MARRIAGE!!!!
2006-08-24 10:27:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will change so much in the next 5 or 6 years. You'll be a totally different person. Thankfully I didn't marry the guy I was dating at 18 and I've met the man of my dreams at age 28. Just date and have a great time with life now. Marriage is a one time deal (in my opinion) so make sure and take plenty of time to think about it.
2006-08-24 12:48:23 · answer #7 · answered by Darrens_sugar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah just wait. stay with him and wait until a couple of years to see if he really wants you and love you. when you are a teenager, you are dumb ,young and fill of cu% as my parents use to say. lol what is the rush. your heart is telling you that your yooung behind is in heat and can not wait to hve sex unitil you are not living under your parent's roof. your mom is only giving you the best advice in the whole wide world. in this day an age, marriages do not last long especially with young and immature people. does he make enough money to buy a house, cars, pay for day care, nannys, medical bills, life insurance, food ,clothes, gas and electric. can you pay these bills if he loses his job? are you financially stabled. this is what grown ups do? not a 18 yr old who will be struggling and wanting to party and relax hang out with her friends all the time but you have a curfew because your hubby says so. live a little!
2006-08-24 10:25:02 · answer #8 · answered by averilyn06 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are18 you can make your own decision but just realize if you get married now it probably wont last that long. Try to wait and no matter how much in love you think you are you will meet more people down the road and you will be happy that you have waited. You may love this guy but what about your future plans work on them first get a good job go to college and buy a house get a car be financially ready then you will have something to fall back on.
2006-08-24 10:10:51 · answer #9 · answered by cupcake 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you can handle the responsibility of being a wife and being an adult, then it is all your choice.
However, your mom can have good valid reasons. Younger you are at getting married, higher chance of having issue's.
How about you wait a few more years. What got to loose? If you two still together and going strong, then decide to get married. If you two are not, then obviously you made the wise choice not to rather than seeking divorce.
2006-08-24 15:39:37 · answer #10 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe your mom is right. She's not trying to tell you how you feel, just what she has experianced. I totally believe you are in love and want to marry this guy. But people change a lot over time and also change their minds about what they want and who they want to be with, I think if you really love the guy wait it out at least another year. Good luck!
2006-08-24 10:15:12 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋