My wife and I are planning on conceving our first child soon.
We have not told anyone in my family because of my mother.
She does not like my wife because she "took me away" from her.
My mother is nearly 50 and has no boyfriend and no life of her own.
I am her only child so she is really weird about me having my own family.
I have been with my wife for 5 years and I know my mom will not be happy when we have a baby.
I want to tell her in person along with my wife when we are expecting.
I want to tell her in front of the whole family so she can't say something stupid and hurt our feelings.
What would be a good thing to do to tell her at a family event?
2006-08-24 09:58:58 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Just make a toast saying how nice it is to see everyone and how you think family is important and that is why you are so excited to be expecting your own addition to the family in ______ months.
2006-08-24 10:11:23 · answer #1 · answered by jtj 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let her know that she will be a great grandma.
Whatever happens this is your life .You can not put your life on hold because of your mother . She just has a hard time of letting go and she probably does not know well how to deal with it . Maybe she can join some sort of a club or so to help her to let go .Just be who you are and stand by your wife . When the new baby comes , so will your mother . Grand babies have their own way on getting their grandmas wrapped around their little fingers.
Good luck !!!
2006-08-24 10:08:25 · answer #2 · answered by silverearth1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, Grandchildren can make a bigger difference in families than you can imagine. She may actually be happy about it once she realizes that she will have someone else in the world to put her time and energy on. You may find out that once a child is on the way, she may forget about how much she resents your wife, and gear her attention on the new baby that is coming.
Just beware after the baby is born that she doesn't become critical of the type of mother your wife is.
2006-08-24 10:05:33 · answer #3 · answered by sheristeele 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one. First - congratulations for caring enough about your mom that you don't want to hurt her feelings.
Secondly, good for you that you and your wife are going forward with plans to start a family anyway!!
I suggest that you start by honoring your mom, and comparing her (favorably!) to your loving wife - you know..."If it wasn't for the love and devotion my mother has given me, I would not have had the honor,, good fortune and SMARTS! to have recognized it in the wonderful woman who became my wife" kind of thing.
Once Mom is feeling loved and appreciated, you turn to your wife and honor HER for being strong enough to be another strong woman in your family - and that you are sure that she will be as wonderful a mother to your child as your mom was to you.
Make sure your mom is NOT in a public family gathering. She is who she is. Have the gathering afterward (like the next day) and tell your friends and family together. Invite your mom and do not worry if she chooses not to come. SHe is who she is. Be considerate of her feelings, but DO NOT run your life in fear of them.
They're HER feelings, and she has a right to feel them. You don't have to be responsible for anything but your own actions and feelings.
But you did choose to get married, and now you are choosing to begin a family. Be the man of your family. Your role as son is now on the THIRD level as you prepare to become a great dad. (Level #1 is Husband, level #2 will be Dad and #3 will be Son).
Remember that your wife must be a saint if she has put up with a whiny bitchy mother in law for 5 years. She deserves all the love and support from you that you can give. Pregnancy is tough enough without having to bolster YOUR ego.
Good luck to all of you!
CJ
2006-08-24 10:20:39 · answer #4 · answered by cjsu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In your marriage vows it says foresaking all others. You wife is your life now. She comes before your mother. It is time for you to tell your mother where it is at. And if she does not except the fact that you are having a child, then tell her fine and she has made her decision and so have you, and it is your wife.
2006-08-24 10:06:26 · answer #5 · answered by Right Wing Extremist 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just because you tell her in front of a lot of people doesn't mean she won't make a scene! go to www.babycenter.com sign up and go to this board to post your question http://boards.babycenter.com/n/pfx/forum.aspx?webtag=bcus6687 ! They have tons of people who have been through the same thing and will be able to help you come up with a plan! It also has TONS of information about anything you could want to know about babies!
Congrats in advance!
~Sarahybethy
2006-08-24 10:06:55 · answer #6 · answered by sarahbeth 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What a strange mum you have any mother would be delighted to hear she going to be a granparent, and celabrate the good news with both you and your wife. I tell her first both you and your wife tell her together and see her reaction.
2006-08-24 10:56:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just tell her that you have some great news to tell her. Tell her that you are going to have a baby and you know that she'll be a wonderful grandma.
2006-08-24 10:02:14 · answer #8 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would ask for everyone's attention and then make the announcment. Maybe she won't make a scene with everyone there.
2006-08-24 10:27:24 · answer #9 · answered by Amanda 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your mother you are not married to her, you are married to the girl you love and if she can not accept that, she needs to seek help. you live your life not the life your mother wants you to live........if it were me, i'd tell her to kiss my *** and get over it
2006-08-24 10:13:30 · answer #10 · answered by phishsports 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋