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I want my boyfriend to just disappear. He is emotionally unavailable, refuses to work full time. He is dampening my dreams and stifling my growth as a person. He is smart mouth and very judge mental of my friends and family. He rationalizes every bad situation he is in and fails to see that he is in a bad situation at times. He hates the fact I am on the computer or phone or going anywhere w/o him and expects me to make time for him sexually. Constatnly accuses me of cheating, or trying to expose my self to others, an example is my bra strap showing or capri short he says is sexy, but when I leave the house now the shorts belong to my eight y.o daughter. He just tried to kiss me I said no and he replied don't ask me to help you do anyting and walked out of the house (I go through this everyday he leaves the house). Recently he took my clothes and begged me for sex, then got mad and kicked furniture, then he will aplogize. Every day it's something! Is this abuse? What kind?

2006-08-24 09:42:54 · 33 answers · asked by nene 3 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

33 answers

Yes. Maybe not physical, but he is emotionally using, abusing and controlling you so get out while you can. You deserve 10 times better.

P.S. I'm really impressed with the guys that are answering on here saying this is abuse. It's refreshing to know that there are decent guys out there.

2006-08-24 09:45:11 · answer #1 · answered by GLSigma3 6 · 1 0

Big time abuse. Honey, this isn't going to get better, but it will get worse. Today, he's throwing temper tantrums, but tomorrow he will hit you.

If you want to get a sense of self, you need to leave this relationship. If you find it hard to do so at this point, buy the book "The Emotionally Abused Woman" by Beverly Engel, which should be a must have book for every woman and should be given to every girl on her 12th birthday (which is around the time the average girl starts puberty).

My only regret is that this book wasn't available when I was that young, but it became a breakthrough when I turned 40, and this book provided answers that years of therapy did not.

2006-08-24 09:48:44 · answer #2 · answered by enlightenedwell 2 · 1 0

Honey, this is definitely mental abuse. You shouldn't be with this person. Unless you want the life you described above, you should get out of this relationship. You deserve much better and he needs to grow up. Only you can make your life better and if this isn't the life you want, walk away now before it gets worse and he starts kicking you instead of the furniture. Good luck!

2006-08-24 09:49:39 · answer #3 · answered by Inquisitive1 2 · 0 0

I'm not sure its abuse...it is an attempt to control you and is about the fact that he has issues with himself. It could turn in to abuse. Doesn't sound like you are catering to it though. Why are you with him if he makes you so unhappy and contributes nothing to your life? Doesn't matter whether its abuse or not, its unhealthy so just get rid of him. It obvioulsy isn't going to work long term so why waste another day or another week? If you really want to know about the abuse thing educate yourself by putting the cycle of violence in to any search engine and you will find tons of info on abusive relationships. Don't worry about this though, just be done with it.

2006-08-24 09:48:07 · answer #4 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0 0

Abuse is abuse. Verbal and emotinal abuse are more difficult to prove in court, but it is still considered abuse. I'm not saying you are going to take the guy to court, but get out of the relationship. I know its tough, but you deserve better!!!

If you think he would hurt you physically if you tried to leave, then you REALLY need to. That's a tough thing to do, so try to make sure he is calm and you have a plan for how to end it.

Good luck!

2006-08-24 09:48:23 · answer #5 · answered by nutmeg 1 · 0 0

It is abuse, it is a refusal to see you as a whole person with a life to live. Take your daughter and move out, please. It will take a while, but one day your daughter will grow up and move out, she will meet a man. Right now, she is watching you, seeing how it is you let men treat you, it will affect how she chooses to live. If she ends up with a man like this, you will look back on these times and want to die, thinking that you taught her that it was ok to sit around and let a man walk all over you. Don't wait any longer, if you can't do it for you, do it for her.

2006-08-24 09:50:53 · answer #6 · answered by n_of49p 3 · 1 0

Yes it is abuse. And that comment you made acknowledges that you have a child. Do you want her growing up around a guy who treats you like that. Most kids look for the type of guy that they have a had as a father role model. You need to get out, and get help first to make sure that he doesnt do anything stupid when you leave.

2006-08-24 09:46:26 · answer #7 · answered by greeneyedfrog87 2 · 1 0

ur talking about emotional, verbal, and mental abuse honey! LEAVE HIM! you dont want you daughter to grow up thinking that men can treat her that way. U obbiiously are not happy so whay make your self unhapppy when its under your control. You dont need a man in life like controlling everything do u and stop u from becoming anything. Leave him! good luck

2006-08-24 09:47:51 · answer #8 · answered by lolli_pop69_2001 3 · 1 0

This is verbal abuse as well as mental abuse. I went through this for 10 years while I was married. Take my advice get out now before it turns physical. And trust me it does.

2006-08-24 09:49:10 · answer #9 · answered by The Bitch B 1 · 0 0

It's something. Emotional, Mental, etc.

But


No offense, but it's stupidity on your part.

You complained here for a whole page about him, yet you're still with him.

Leave if you're not happy.

He's not going to change.

Now, if he tried to threaten you when you leave, then THAT is bad. Get a restraining order.

2006-08-24 09:46:14 · answer #10 · answered by AnswerMom 4 · 0 0

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