I broke up with my ex-fiance weeks ago, then it was mutually decided that we both love each other and we should "take a fresh start". I agree and off we go. Then I am told "I need 30 days without talking to you to collect myself". I dont agree but I give her time and we end up talking again after about 10 days. Then we begin seeing each other, everything is fine...butterflies and unicorns and pretty smelly things etc. Then a few weeks later I am realising that we arent really moving forward and all the old issues are being argued about (we hurt who worse, etc etc). So I ask "where are we going with this, what are your expectations?". To this I am told...."Again, why all the questions that I can't answer right now? I'm hurt and I'm protecting myself. What more do you want from me? I'm seeing you, I'm working on our differences, I'm trying to make a fresh start by not rushing things this time."
How should I read this? Am I just wasting my time?
2006-08-24 09:05:28 · 26 answers · asked by greg 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
in fairness to your fiance, i think she is doing her best to save the relationship...you could have hurt her badly but i do think she still loves you...Give her more time to recuperate and prove to her that you have changed...she just want to make sure of herself if indeed she have completely forgiven you...trust is important in any relationship....i think you are not wasting your time if ever you decide to wait...it's for the benefit of both of you....Goodluck!!!!
2006-08-24 09:28:17 · answer #1 · answered by chona a 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
either you are being too clingy in which case she really does need some room to breath or else she sees things in the relationship that aren't going to work....probably ever. It's really hard to get over a relationship, but we do want to find real love that isn't such a hassel and a hurt. I really recommend trying to move along. Many people have "fun" and feel butterflies when they think they are "in" love, but the truth is, love is about sacrifice and truly accepting another person and having important things in common. If these things aren't here, it's not a good relationship to be in....move along. Time heals and there is something better out there. Good luck.
2006-08-24 16:11:55 · answer #2 · answered by SeraMcKay 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A good friend once told me that " it takes 30 days to get to know someone or to learn a person likes & dislikes" In my opinion twards the end or even if you are begining a new:) the old issues really can't be resolved! A REAL MAN ADMITS AND TRYS TO WORK ON THINGS IF YOU are begining new. You are doing the right thing..............if in 30 days you cant figure it aout and are running in circles, I sug call it quits! You are at this point waisting time....... That you could be using to find a new soul mate.. p.s.. I am available :) hope this translation helped ya-Nancy *Unless you can the forgive and forget its useless. old patterns never die..
The longer you wait the harder it will be!
2006-08-24 16:18:47 · answer #3 · answered by nancy w 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think she's a bit confused and lost. Seems like she has some issues to work out. She wants to take it slow. Look, if you still want to be with this girl, bear with her and be there for her until she can get everything resolved, lend an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. Maybe in time she will tell you whats really wrong because it seems like she's not too sure what it is yet. If you don't want to be with her, break it off now.
2006-08-24 16:12:51 · answer #4 · answered by dsd 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I think you are.There are issues the two of you are not solving. They can be swept under the carpet for a little while, but they ALWAYS come back. It sounds like you are just prolonging the agony of the end. Unless you two learn to communicate honestly with each other, stop dwelling on the past, and get on the same page as far as where your relationship is going, I see no happy future for you.
2006-08-24 16:12:40 · answer #5 · answered by Debbie D 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your first mistake was agreeing to spend 30 days apart and then talking after 10. Maybe try that again so that you can both collect yourselves...but make sure it's for the full 30 days! It may make you realize how much you mean to eachother as well.
2006-08-24 16:11:01 · answer #6 · answered by prairiefire_14 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my man u r not wasting ur time
she gave u the biggest hints man are u blind or r u selfish
she mention that she is hurt and she is protecting herself
u as her man need to stop the hurting and comfort her
allow her to express her self and what she is holding on inside
without pressuring her
obviously she loves u and wants to work things out
u need to communicate without pressurring each other
get to the root of the problem and work on it
relax man and take it slow u guys are not going anywhere
u will still see and talk to her
take it slow and watch every thing blossom and d o not try to change her let her do it herself
good luck
2006-08-24 16:09:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be quite truthful with you, it sounds like she has some serious issue that need to be dealt with before you guys are going to get anywhere...she may very well be seeing someone on the side and holding onto you as a second choice if it doesn't work out with this "new guy"...
2006-08-24 16:08:28 · answer #8 · answered by imroser22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give her the space she needs. Breaking up is hard to do and you are seeing each other and/or getting back together only because it hurts to be apart not because you are confident that you can resolve your issues and have a successful relationship. I think you need to let her go.
2006-08-24 16:17:00 · answer #9 · answered by DeeDee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love is not about "butterflies and unicorns and pretty smelly things" that's Disneyland. Take a few years and grow up.
2006-08-24 16:17:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋