2006-08-24 08:55:50 · 9 answers · asked by Quaid 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A guy walks into a bar, and says "Ouch"
Loved that joke since I was a kid.
2006-08-24 08:58:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If anyone is offended by the jokes the late great Richard Pryor, then quit reading this one now. (ohhh there is so many good ones, but this is my all time favorite)
Never trust a woman.
How can you trust someone who bleeds for 5 days but doesn't die.
2006-08-24 16:18:44 · answer #2 · answered by anywhoo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a little long, but my favorite and sorry for those who get offended, but it's a joke so get over it. Here is goes:
One day a cucumber, pickle and a penis are sitting around a bar discussing how bad their lives suck. The cucumber says, "Man, my life sucks. Each time I get big, fat and juicy, someone cuts me up and puts me in a salad." The pickle says, "You think you've got it bad, everytime I get big, fat and juicy, someone cuts me up and sticks me in a jar with vinegar and spices." The penis says, "You two think you have it bad, everytime I get big, fat and juicy, someone puts a rubber tarp over my head, sticks me in a dark hole and bangs my head against the wall until I puke and passout."
2006-08-24 16:03:09 · answer #3 · answered by lilgut2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One day man tells his friend his elbow hurts but he don't want to go to the doctor.His friend says there's this new machine at wal-mart and you give it a urine sample and it gives you a dignosis and what medicine to take.So the man goes to wal-mart pisses in the cup, puts it in the machine a few seconds later a print-out comes out. It says you have tenis elbow rub ebsent salt on it three times a day till pain goes away and no heavy activity with that arm. Epsent salts on isle 4.The man in disbelief goes home puts his dogs poop and tap water in the cup,gets his daughter and wife to pee in it and he j-off in it.He takes the cup to wal-mart and puts it in the machine. A few seconds later a print out comes out. It says 1st off your dog has hearth worms,hearth worm medicine on isle 6. 2nd your tap water's too hard, water softner on isle 8. 3rd your daughter's on drugs call 1800-drug abuse. 4th your wife is pregnant with twins, get a lawyer cause they,re not yours.and last your elbow won't ever heal if you keep j-off like that.
2006-08-24 16:54:36 · answer #4 · answered by Gary B. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my favorite joke is the one which has not been made yet:)
2006-08-24 15:58:52 · answer #5 · answered by Angelica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, can't tell you. It would upset uptight prudes and they'd report me.
2006-08-24 15:57:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my life
2006-08-24 16:02:11 · answer #7 · answered by vampire lover 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a funny one
2006-08-24 15:57:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
you are beautifull,sexy,charming and I love u
2006-08-24 16:14:13 · answer #9 · answered by aaaaman00 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋