I have a huge crush on a friend but I'm 17 and he's 27. We're always flirting and I think he likes me too but I'm not sure. I'm thinking that he's too old and we're at different places in our lives so I'd just lose a friend but at the same time I think it might work, I know some people who were in similar situations and now they're in serious relationships. I can't stop thinking about him. Any advice is welome.
2006-08-24 08:50:51 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow I was so glad when I stumble on your question cause I'm kinda in the same situation. First of all I'll like to respond to the person who said "grow up and leave him alone" you grow up and shut up, I've always thought if you have nothing useful to say shut up. People mature at diffrent rates and I know several who got into relationship as teenager, on couple in particular have been together for 25+ years.
But I would ask you to think about this very seriously, the way I looked at my situtation is that he is almost a decade older and thought I have always dated guys loads older than me, he is in the mind for bigger things like marriage, a morgage and a family, whereas I'm still at the point where I'm trying to sort out my educations, it a very rocky foooting to start a relationship on if I cannot see a future as I certainly do not want marriage now.
Secondly, do you really love him (in a romantic fashion) or do you simply lust after him, to very similar but completely different emotions. I see your friendship is very important to you and you really don't want to lose it, consider that carefully. A bit of fun is not worth losing a good friend over. But on the other hand there is not point in being scared of what you don't know if we all did that we will never find anything out.
I personally rationed out my situation and decide against doing something about it, but you are not me and when you think this through thoroughly you answer will come to you, and I am pretty sure it will be the best for you.
2006-08-24 09:08:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm glad you're taking the time to think about this. You're right, you're in different places. I would say stay friends.
Because think about it. Is an almost 30 year old going to want to hang out with a girl in college? (Are you even in college yet?)
Also, check the legal age of consent. It's 16 in many states, but 18 in others, and you certainly don't want to get him into any trouble.
Thirdly, you sound like you have a head on your shoulders. I'd say the way to go, if you REALLY like him is to keep in contactl stay great friends.. Finish college. Then you'll be more on his level, and be on the same page. Then see where it goes.
2006-08-24 15:55:11 · answer #2 · answered by AnswerMom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look you are 17. Right now in your life you should be thinking about life after high school. College, or whatever. Anyway think about that, and think do I really want a relationship right now. Dating an older person is really ok, only if you make it an issue. Age is just a number. But in your situation especially if you are thinking about college, do not get in no serious relationship. You will have plenty of time. Trust me enjoy your youth.
2006-08-24 16:00:11 · answer #3 · answered by Rooster 1972 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 32 and my ex husband 52, that is a 20 years gap!!! I guess I have much more in common with older guys than with guys around my age. But being you under 18, is that legally ok for him to date you? I mean, maybe that coudl scare him a bit. When I was 17 I date a guy who was 28, and it was just right.
2006-08-24 15:56:37 · answer #4 · answered by Graça 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 20 and I date 27-30 year old men. It's works fine with me, cause usually when their that old, they are mature enough after a breakup to still be friends. You only live once GO FOR IT!
2006-08-24 15:53:15 · answer #5 · answered by angel2005_2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do yourself a favor, just stay freinds as at 17, you got alot ahead of you other than a 27 year old.
2006-08-24 15:53:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOu should tell him. But being that he's 10 years older than you, you're getting yourself and him, in to a trouble trap, just by being interested in him, that way. He is too old for you, like you said. But you don't know how he'll react or feel, about your news. You've got to tell him, though.
2006-08-24 15:54:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him alone.Yes you to are at very different stages in life.And you need time to grow up and mature a little more while he's already there.Let him move on and find someone closer to your own age.Crushes are ok but as only that.Do yourself better have fun and enjoy life.
2006-08-24 15:55:33 · answer #8 · answered by endigogirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Older guys don't have time to beat around the bush. If you want to tell him... just tell him. The best way is to simply tell him that if he ever wanted to go out with you, you'd be happy to. If he doesn't have your phone number... give it to him. Those are direct, but no threatening overtures that leave the ball in his court. If he calls... good. If he doesn't, well... you made it clear how you feel.
2006-08-24 15:55:40 · answer #9 · answered by BeenThere69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are 17 years old and you feel that this is a relationship that can work, and nothing is wrong with it, then discuss it with your parents. Follow their advance. They love and know you.
2006-08-24 15:54:09 · answer #10 · answered by ms.sassy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋