I still don't understand my parents!!!!,why?

Question

I respect them, i told them my secrets, they know everything from me they nkow all my friends,at what time i'm going out, what time i came back, they know my problems,even what happened with my exboyfriend. I take care of my brother and sisters, i clean the house, i cook for them, i do all the stuff from the house so when they got home from work don't have to borry about anything. But they treat me like i behave bad, that everything i do is wrong, if i'm tolking on the phone they said" if you talking more than 10 min is because your in love with that person or you're commenting about other people", i think is time for me to be a lit of bit free from them. I'm already 18 years old almost going to colege, and i live with my father and my stepmom, i love my stepmom because i nkow her since i was 4 years old but i think that becuase my dad treat me different from her kids she got mad and always said stuped stuff like if i'm tolking or go out withfriewnds.shetells my dad so he get mad.

Answer 1

You are not going to believe me, but I am going to give you some very great advice... You see, parents are not for their children to try to understand... (if someone would have told me this when I was your age, I would have laughed at them. Now that I am a parent I know ALL about this!)

Parents ARE for giving respect, and you will get it in return. If you are hanging with people your parents don't approve of, then chances are there is a REAL reason. You should beware those people your parents are leary of... (I HATED listening to my father's advice on my friends, and I wished he would butt out, but i learned when I saw he was RIGHT 98% of the time about this person or that... this was a rude awakining to a girl who thought she knew best for herself...) When I turned 18, all I wanted was to move out, but, later I learned of the real world, (complete with bills, responsibility, work and children,) and I wanted to move back in... lol. You see, if I could go back in time, I would listen to their advice a little more clearly. Parents only seem like they are trying to be your enemy when they are trying to butt in... when in all reality, it is because they love you and want what is best for you. The next time they start up on you, try to listen with your ears and your heart. Place yourself in their shoes, and think about how it would feel to them to know that their child, who they had nurtured into a young adult, could somehow turn into a person who really doesn't care for or respect the wishes in their home. Sometimes taking someone elses prospective will help you to learn the difference of "tough love" and not caring. Parents have to use "tough love" to make their child ready for what is really out there. Trust me, you will soon see what I mean when you are actually in college and on your own. You will understand even better when you have child(ren) of your own.

I hope this helps, and good luck to you!

Answer 2

Okay- take a breath. Nothing new really -right? Its just an age thing. You are a young woman and they are worried about you.
Honey~ you will not understand your parents until you become one. Let's not rush that okay!

They are not showing it the best way that they love you. Its very old-school to use firm voices and actions to keep the peace or keep teens in line. You ever consider it may be directed at you, yet in front of an audience of other children. It may be the management tool for the parents. Acting out will only reinforce that action.

I would recommend getting a part time job out of the house. That is responsible thing for someone your age to do and it will give you a break from them. Get a fun job okay- at the mall or movie theater. Say you need to save money for college or get you a prepaid cell phone to visit with friend or something. Or volunteer at the church or nursing homes on the weekends, they always need folks to clean or setup for services, games or classes for two or three hours.

Absentance makes the heart grown fonder. Also "too much" information is a bad thing. Just give them the basics okay. Full disclosure can be unsettling to even the "hippest" parents. Be a good girl for you. Best wishes.

Answer 3

Sounds like now is the right time for you to strike out on your own, if you can. You sound like a mature, responsible individual, so if you already have college lined up let's hope you'll be living in the dorm or off-campus and NOT with your parents. Can't be sure, but it sounds like they sort of treat you like free household labor, and that's a bad thing when there's no respect or appreciation for what you do. Go to college, get that higher education, and even if you're going to college locally and planned to commute you should look for a place to live and a roommate or two to help you pay the expenses. Good luck!

Answer 4

Your parents sound overly restrictive. I understand a parental fear and a sense of responsibility for their children, but this seems a little ridiculous. Of course, since you are talking about your stepmother, the situation is a little muddled-- she doesn't have the same parental feeling toward you, and while she may feel responsible, there is a difference to how a mother would deal with it and how a stepmother would deal with it. I'd say talk to your dad. He is your father, and he will listen to you. Tell him how you feel, even say what you think about your stepmother. When you make your feelings known, you have a better chance at resolving the issues.

Answer 5

wow do they see all the wonderful things you do...you may appreciate them but do they you? i mean cause if you're doing all of this stuff for them so they have dont have to worry about whats for dinner and they still treat you like you did something wrong perhaps they're taking this for advantage. you should talk to them and tell them how you feel about it.
are you planning on going to college if you are try an out of state college..you can find your own life and let them deal with home on their own for a while..plus you'll meet tons of new ppl and get a job while your there cause trust me your gonna need the money.
anyway hope things work out for you

Answer 6

Move out. And type slowly next time I had a real time reading your message.

Sometimes when there are stepchildren and parents involved there are mixed feelings. And your dad sounds like the typical lead by his "other" brain guy who will do as his new wife wants. This was the problem my ex boyfriend had. Untill you move out though your just subject to their rule.

Answer 7

Then move out. If that is what's really happening in your home, you have the choice not to live there anymore. Think about this carefully. I don't know if you will lose your college funding (are they paying?) or you may have to drop out of college to go to work and support yourself.

But you do not have to stay now that you are 18.

Answer 8

Wow...
Brat alert, brat alert.
Stop your whining...goodness, what a whining nit you are.
And you're going to college? With that kind of English skills and apparent "intelligence" level.
Again...wow...
There are some kids that should just be eaten at birth I tell ya.

From the Great and Powerful Poppet

Answer 9

Congratulations for being so responsible and helpful in your family.
If you are about to go to college, will you be moving out into a dorm? If so, this will be a good time to spread your wings a little. BUT please don't let it go to your head. Keep your stability. This will do more than anything to convince your parents that you deserve their respect.

Answer 10

If you're 18, get a job and move out. It's really the only way you are going to get what you want is this situation!