My Catholic mother and Catholic wife will bring my body to a Church, where over my dead body a priest will tell friends and family, "Sean was a loving devoted husband, who loved and served the Lord God, and he was terrificly smart, using all the gifts God gave him".
Will the truth of me die and dissappear? No more jim darwin on yahoo answers. No more me at my job.
Why can't we just say the truth at funerals? "Sean struggled to believe in God, he had many faults, he had hair on his bottom and smelled funny when he ate taco bell, he liked a lot of women, he couldn't concentrate all the time, and despite his agnosticism, he had a heart of Gold."
Why is every Eulogy essentially a pep ralley for goodness, and not the saying good bye to who the man or woman really was and tried to be, and failed every day to be who they wanted.
2006-08-24 08:38:35 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
First of all, why do you think you are on the way out first?
Besides, everyone knows your faults....the priest was just going to point out your assets because nobody would be able to see them.
2006-08-24 15:20:20 · answer #1 · answered by peppermint_paddy 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The Romans had a saying, " De mortuous nihil nisi bonum ". ABOUT THE DEAD, SAY NOTHING BUT GOOD.
If you were asked to give the Eulogy at a funeral, would you do otherwise ? What would be the point of digging up all the dirt that you might know about the guy ? Hey! the guy is a goner, he's never going to do harm to anyone else again.
Whatever you say will do him no good or harm, but smoothening over the dirt and inserting a touch of blarney here and there will make his family much more at ease.
So you do it your way, and I'll do it my way.
2006-08-24 16:26:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're right. I read a eulogy once where the dead guy wrote his own eulogy. I basically said, "I want to thank all my friends and family for being here. They're wonderful people, but they all lied about me. I'm not the good person they said I was. I was full of flaws, here are just a few ... So what ever you believe about me, remember this, I was born, I lived as well as I could, but didn't live as well as I should, and now I'm dead. Don't sorrow over me, have fun, eat well, it's on me. And remember 90% of the stuff that's said about me is a lie."
2006-08-24 15:59:02 · answer #3 · answered by Tonya in TX - Duck 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They have a little book with religious and somewhat sentimental crap they know will probably make everyone cry with. But, then a friend or family member stands up and says it like it was, and leaves out the worst things out of respect. Your best bet would be to write down some of the things you want said and make your wishes known. That's a terrible thought, though. A YA world without Jim Darwin, sucks. Hang on Jim, don't die, you're too young, you have too much to offer those who thirst for your wit and wisdom. My eulogy will be a lie, since I'm still in the closet with my atheism to my parents. I'm not ashamed of it, of course, but they are real xian fundies, and I don't want them to worry.
2006-08-24 15:51:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth of you will not die and disappear just because they lie about you after you're dead. The people that love you will remember you for who you really were, and those that didn't know you....well, if they believe the lies, then who cares?
I face the same defamation after death, as my family are all christians of one denomination or another. I really hope they (my friends and family) will eulogize me with funny stories. Too bad we can't listen to our own eulogies, that might be fun.
2006-08-24 15:51:13 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Mira♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, eulogies are for the living, not the dead and as we have ample proof, people are more interested in the lies that appeal to them than in the facts. I trust my spouse implicitly to carry out my last wishes and know that he will not allow anyone to dishonor who I really was. He thinks that I'm wonderful cake with no need for frosting....LOL. Have you made your wishes known to your loved ones? Would they honor that? Do they really know you? If they are comfortable with who you are from day to day...then why would they not be comfortable with it for eternity?
Live your life so fiercely and passionately that the truth of you cannot be denied even after death.
2006-08-24 16:22:44 · answer #6 · answered by Medusa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not every eulogy is a pep rally for goodness.
How about this. You update YOUR OWN eulogy every so often... and have them read this at your funeral.
I have just considered them a time to tell about the person that passed.
better yet.. request no formal memorial and have charitable donations in y our name, rather than flowers.
Then have a party at a pub.
2006-08-24 15:42:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you write your own eulogy? Or have someone else give it. Why does a Catholic priest get to get away with lying?
One of my favorite quotes:
"Do your pastor a favor, do some good in your life so they don't have to lie at your funeral."
2006-08-24 15:47:04 · answer #8 · answered by Gothic Martha™ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People don't like to speak ill of the dead, whether there is truth to it or not. And with that person no longer being here it's better to think of the more happier times I guess.
2006-08-24 15:46:53 · answer #9 · answered by cuppycake♀ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It won't be that way at my funeral. I have it in my will... No Priest/Preacher/Minister... No prayer service... No church... Take me from the embalming place directly to my hole and bury my a s s. And afterwards, throw a party... At least when everyone gets drunk, they won't want to lie about me. All of the truth will probably flow then and piss everyone off. hehe
2006-08-24 16:44:28 · answer #10 · answered by Kithy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋