Looking for discipline tool that is good for a 4 year old-no spanking please and time outs no longer work.?

Answer 1

My children have marble jars. They are 9, 7 and 4 yr old twins. When they do something good like clean their room the get a marble or two. When they do something bad they loose a marble or even the whole jar if its really bad.. Every two weeks or so they cash in their marbles, Each marble is 25 cents. They then get to buy whatever they want at the store. Once your child realizes he/she gets to go shopping with his/her own money they will try to be good. This works for my kids and they all love to get money. Good luck,.

Answer 2

Good for you for not using time outs and spanking! These are only a way to punish a child, not discipline them. Try and use logical consequences whenever possible. Taking away a toy or privileges when your child misbehaves is not a logical consequence. Taking away a toy if he or she throws it or is destructive with it is logical. These are some other examples of logical consequences. If they make a mess, they clean it. If they break a toy, it goes in the trash. If they damage something in the home, he or she does things around the house to pay for the damages. If they try and hurt you, you don’t want to play with them. Let the discipline fit the crime.

Another technique you can try when she is misbehaving is this. As soon as she misbehaves, get down to her level and say "I don't like when you (explain what and why)." Take her gently by the hand and put her in a spot in your home (bedroom, the couch.) Say "When you're ready to (stop hitting, listen, behave) then you can come back with me." This is not a time out because you are not giving a time limit (you controlling your child). The child returns when they are ready to control themselves. You may have to take them back to the spot a few times before they get the message. Keep it up!

Notice your child when they are not misbehaving. Say things like "You worked on that for a long time! Look how high you can climb! You used so many colors on that picture!" These are intrinsic motivators rather than extrinsic rewards ("Good job," stickers, candy). These phrases are great confidence builders and will help your child to feel powerful in a positive way.

Set limits, follow through, and offer choices, not chances. You can say “Do you want to do that by yourself or do you want some help?” "No" should mean "No" the first time you say it. Say "Yes" as much as possible. Be patient and consistent. Good luck!

Answer 3

Nothing will work if you dont enforce it THE FIRST TIME EVERY TIME. There are no warnings, no bribing, no trying to reason, no poo pooing the child. The first time your child does something you dont want them doing, punish them! Take toys away, time out, make them eat dinner in their room, no play time, go to bed early, etc, etc.
And what is wrong with spanking? There is a difference between beating and spanking a child.

Answer 4

Take away toys and dessert. Allow your child to have snacks but not the snacks he or she wants. Instead of juice give water. Instead of popsicles give ice cubes. When taking away the goodies explain to the child why you are giving and taking. But what I hhave just recently started doing is making my child stand in the bathtub, no water, no soap, just a dry bathtub. I make her sit and recite her ABC's and 123's for about 20 minutes then I make her pick up all her toys and we bring them to the storage room for an hour. I ask her constantly do she have anything she wants to tell me.....(Be prepared they say some things you really don't want to hear) Then when she says she is sorry then we get the toys but she still can't have any snacks for the day and only milk for dinner and water for thirst No juice.

Answer 5

If he/she is into watching certain tv shows or movies, start taking that time away. This has worked with both of my kids, especially my son. Try that. Also we use the reward system too. If he's been really good for a week, then we buy him a hot wheel. Which are his favorite.

Answer 6

Why shouln't you spank your child? Have you rad the book of Proverbs? There are several verses on spanking(using the rod). One verse I like is Proverbs 13:24-He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him-NIV
In the New Living Translation-If you refuse to disipline your children, it proves you don't love them;if you love your children, you will be prompt to discipline them.
Beside if you spank him, you can control him. When he's older he won't get into trouble. You don't want him to end up in prison when he's a teen.
My footnotes says this- It is not easy for a loving parent to disipline a child, but it is necessary. The greatest responsibility that God gives parents is the nurture and guidance of their children. Lack of disipline puts parents love in question because it shows laack of concern for the character development of their chidren. Disiplining children averts long-range disaater. Without correction, children grow up with no clear understanding of right and wrong and with little direction to their lives. Don't be afraid to discipline your children. It is an act of love. Remember, however, that your efforts cannot make your children wise; they can only encourage your children to seek God's wisdom above all else!
You should have done the spanking long before that. But it's not to late to start now. The best tool for spanking is go and buy some rod dowels. You can find those at the local hardwhere store. Cut them in half. They work on my kids. My pastor is the one who told us about it. He used them on their kids when they were growing up and it worked. Just make sure to leave the pants on. You don't want to cause welts on the child. It does hurt, but it will get through to him.
Otherwise there isno other way without spanking.
GOOD LUCK!!!!

Answer 7

I'm having the same problem with my son. Only he keeps hitting me, just me. I don't know how to handle this. But I do know that pinching has worked for other things. Like not sitting still, smartmouthing. I only had to pinch him once hard. Which I didn't even realize that I did so hard. I didn't leave a mark, but he did cried. Now all I have to do is put my hands by his thigh and he stops usually. Don't do a little pinch, I mean grab a little bit of skin. do a thick one with some pressure. Good luck

Answer 8

Check out this site below. It will really help alot.
I usually watch Supernanny or Nanny 911. They have great techniques and also each have a book. With my 3 children, we usually take away privileges and use time out. What works with the time out is consistency and always follow through.

Answer 9

He cannot play with a certain favorite toy for the afternoon. Tell him ahead of time before he misbehaves. New rule-if you misbehave I will take away a toy for the afternoon. That way you are teaching him that he is in control of what happens. If he misbehaves, no Buzz Lightyear. Also, you have to stick with it. If you do not take it away when he misbehaves he will not believe your warnings again. But if you do, he will know you mean business. I have a six year old boy, it works for us.

Answer 10

Love & Logic parenting techniques... http://www.loveandlogic.com/

They have tapes, books, classes and support online, etc. Start with "Helicopters, Drill Instructors and Consultants" tape or CD, it's hilarious as well as instructional. This technique takes stress out of parenting and puts you back in charge without spanking. I know from personal experience that it works.

Good luck!