If a parent loves but doesn't respect a child, what can this lead to?

Question

In a parent-child relationship, I think respect is absolutely vital. Love is "I want you, I need you" but does not help.
I did say that in this case the parent does NOT respect the child. In our society it is taken for granted a parent is the best thing for a child, unless there is obvious evidence to the contrary (then it might be dealt with, might be).

murph ltt - don't say that, it is not true.

A child is not born in sin, as most people know I think. A child will grow into any culture that exists, and it is good in all ways, the child will be also. I've got plenty of good answers here, for my question. Except where people say love and respect can't be separated - love is need and is different to respect (another example is what happens in love-hate events)

Answer 1

What do you mean by "respect"? Too many people "respect" their chldren by allowing the child to make decisions they aren't adequately mature enough to make.
I believe there is another definition. That is, you put your child and its future first. You treat your child well, so that it will fit into society.
I listen to my children's wishes - doesn't meant I give in to them. I do my best to ensure their future is prepared for - I hope without going over the top. My children play a musical instrument, for example, because I believe it will give them comfort in later life. They don't do exams if they don't want to. They play tennis, because it is a social skill which will stand them in good stead in the future. They learn to cook etc etc. My goal is to make sure my children are well balanced and competent. They are loved, deeply, treasured and cherished. and also disciplined. I have high expectations of their behaviour.
I think good communication is the key to a good relationship. But after all is said and done I am the parent and I take charge. My chldren might resent my decisions later but actually, I do the best I can. That's all that can be expected of any parent.

Answer 2

I'm sure my mother loves me. But she has had to learn to respect me. She has learnt that if she has no respect for me i will just turn my back on her. I have done it before and will do it again. Respect in the case of a child is leaving it in it's own value. I was raised according to my mothers'' values. This meant i was not allowed to have a chopper but got a nice 'girlie' bike instead. I was not allowed to join the sea scouts but had to make do with the girl guides and their 'proper' catholic ways. I got enrolled in a footbal team because my stepfather though of football as a cool sport. I was more of a hiker really.
Too many parents see it as they are 'giving' their children everything so therefore it is only right in their eyes that the child just does as it is told. Meeting the child halfway (or let them have the alternative they want if it is acceptable) is respect to me.
But i don't believe it is respect that makes or breaks a child. It is the damage inflicted on self-esteem that has the most consequences when the child becomes a teenager and then an adult. Respect is something that can be grasped as the child grows up. Most disrepectful teenagers i know do respect something. Just not their parents. They respect what or who has left them in their value, wether society likes it or not.

Answer 3

I agree with you. Love and respect do NOT go hand in hand. For the longest time I loved my mother, but she did things that I did not agree with and therefore I couldnt not respect it. As I grew up, I learned to respect her, but I think parents need to understand that in this day in age, children also need to feel respected. Although I agree that a child should always respect their parent, sometimes parents need to earn that respect as well...not just demand it and then disrespect their child.

If you disrespect your child, it will most likely grow up with a very poor sense of self respect, it will also disrespect you and all other authority. Respect your child...of course you need to lay down the law sometimes...but sometimes it is also important to listen to your child and open your mind. Try and remember what it was like to be young and feel disrespected. Huge blow to the pride.

Answer 4

On the basis that a child is the creation of 2 human beings, i would posit that a parent who has no respect for their child, probably has either very little respect for themselves or a stronger disrespect for their partner.

Children don't need to earn adults respect, they are born perfect and them adults mess them up, it is adults who need to work to earn the respect of the young person, and if the young person has no respect for you, its usually because you have no respect for yourself, and maybe then they might try and interpret it like they don't have any respect for the child, but the root is somewhere inside themselves i'm afraid!

Answer 5

I agree with Polly Wolly - my children don't respect me cause they saw the father disrespect me on so many levels during the marriage and the divorce. They have none for me now and it gets worse when they are teenagers and are defiant anyway - that along with disrepect will get you no respect from me!
I child is to respect his parent because they are the parent, the child and parent are not equal and never will be!

Answer 6

I'm not a psychologist, but I imagine that as such a child grows up, he probably won't respect himself or know how to behave maturely, and he might feel awkward dealing with other authority figures he'll eventually encounter (the boss at work, etc).

Answer 7

Psalms 51:5 - "Behold I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me." That is for your additional comment.

Now as for your question...Yes love and respect DO go hand in hand. I don't believe in love/ hate relationships. Hate is a very strong word and people use it so flippantly. If you truly hate someone, then you can't truly love them and vice versa. You can not like them sometimes, but you can't HATE them and truly love them at the same time. If a parent really and truly loves their child, then the respect will follow with it. Sad to say, alot of people say they love their child, but they really don't and you can see it by the way they raise them.

Answer 8

the child will love but not respect the parent.

Answer 9

definite I easily haven't any note of for most adults, because i have got here upon that a lot of them are idiots. i love and note of my mum and dad, they have loved and supported me all my existence, i became basically hit some situations and it did not make any project more desirable helpful. basically human beings like you deem the very undeniable actuality that youngsters haven't any note of for you an issue, maximum teens and children imagine no longer something of it. Why do you deserve it? note of does no longer want to earnings, note of is earned through the man who receives it. Respecting absolutely everyone is ridiculous besides, you would possibly want to be sensible to human beings you do not comprehend and be courteous to them, yet that couldn't note of. basically when you get to carry close someone are you able to commence to delight in and note of them. basically because your children do something you don't like would not advise you want to triumph over them to get your message for the length of, they are not not just about as good as you basically because you've age on your side. Get that authoritarian stick out of your ***....sir. I make an entire withdrawl of each and each of the above statements in terms of children who're incurably rude and obnoxious.

Answer 10

The child will not respect the parent