Any dirty jokes? or really funny jokes?

Answer 1

This one is dirty and funny


There once was the perfect woman, she had perfect breasts, butt, waist, hips, and was just all around perfect. A man walked up to her and asked if he could bite her breasts for $100. She was disgusted and said no and walked away. He ran all the way around the block to catch her. He then asked her if he could bite her breasts for $1000. Again she said no and walked away. He was determined so he ran around the block to catch her again. This time he asked if he could bite her breasts for $100,000. She said "yes, but not here. We have to find somewhere secret." So they went to an alley. Once in the alley she removed her blouse and bra revealing the most perfect breasts ever created by God. The man began kissing, licking, fondling, hugging and doing everything except biting to her breasts. She got angry and asked "Are you going to bite them or what?" The man stopped and said "Nope. It costs too much."

Answer 2

Life is full of emotions like laughing, smiling, crying, weeping, fear, hatred, jealousy and many more. Out of all these, laughing is loved and liked by all. That is why someone has rightly said, “ You laugh and the world will laugh with u, you weep and u shall weep alone.” Sometimes, life becomes monotonous and one starts getting bored. To remove such monotonousness and boredom, I feel that surfing on the following websites can be helpful in making one cheerful, refreshen up and gain some emotional or psychological energy too. Surf on them and see how helpful these are to u to bring a smile on ur face.
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp

Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..

Answer 3

A HORSE AND A CHICKEN



A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to find the farmer, but the farmer can't be found.

So the chicken drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to the horse and drives forward saving him from sinking!

A few days later the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and this time the chicken fell into a mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So the horse stretched over the width of the mud hole and said, "Grab my ding dong and pull yourself up." The chicken did and pulled himself to safety.

The Moral of the Story: If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks!

Answer 4

not funny, but i like it:

a guy offers a woman a million dollars to have sex with him. She says, "sure!" Then he says, how about 50? She, all insulted, says, "What kind of woman do you think I am?"

To which the man replies, "We have already established what kind of woman you are. Now we are just haggling over price."

Answer 5

A boy sees this hot chick with nothing but a towel wrapped around her sexy body standing outside his apartment door. He stares in silent as she talks to him. She starts to feel his body and he shivers up and down. She whispers, "I hear someone coming" and the boy answers, "then let's go inside." They went inside and she is completely naked now. She looks at him and ask, "What would you say is my best features? My perfect ****? My nice curved body? or my shaved wet vagina?" And the boy answers, "Your ears." She was angry to hear this and ask, "Why my ears?" Boy answers, "Because you heard me coming."

Answer 6

Got a cpupla good dirtyies,...talk to me on the side, there are kids here.