My girlfriend is constantly being pursued by her Ex who for just over a year mistreated her, cheated on her, and talked about her behind her back. She seems to not want to believe this or be blind to it because she still tries to be friends with him even though he clearly doesn't only want to her friend and could never do that. She says she loves me more then she ever loved him and that I mean everything to her, but I don't know, if I mean that much and she knows the situation with him is making me uncomfortable shouldn't she just stop talking to him? Please Help.
2006-08-24 07:36:42 · 16 answers · asked by Uncertain Bob 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If she's that ignorant, maybe you need a new girl.
2006-08-24 07:40:09 · answer #1 · answered by palacki808 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly! Ask yourself doe she actually think you are that stupid or are you actually that stupid! Dude I think that you already know the answer to the questions you are asking. Now all you have to do is grow a pair, I think that if she indeed is telling the truth about caring about you then why not just tell the other guy to beat it. Another thing there is no loving one more than the other it's more like loving you guys differently. You definitely do not want to be loved the same way as that as that leech! Put your foot down and if she gives you anymore grief then maybe she belongs with him. Don't let anyone tell you how to feel. If you really loves some one then you wouldn't do anything intentionally to hurt them in anyway!
2006-08-24 07:53:05 · answer #2 · answered by LOLITA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Approach the friend. Tell him to leave your chick alone or you'll kick his sorry ***. If you keep hounding her about it she's going to get pissed and you're going to drive her into the other guys arms. Tell her one last time that you don't like it, and it makes you uncomfortable but if she feels she has to remain friends with this guy just to feel better about it than you don't care. Her heart will melt and you'll be even more in her good graces. Also, just tell her the only reason you've been so against it in the past is that you know how much he hurt her and guys like that really piss you off. That will refresh her memory on what a piece of crap that other guy is and maybe she'll re-evaluate why she's even talking to him in the first place.
I have a friend who just has to be friends with her ex-boyfriends too. I don't understand it but I think that it has to do with guilt on her part. Maybe she feels bad for breaking someones heart. Or maybe she'd feel bad if she completely left them without hope of getting with her because that would hurt them. I dunno, but good luck and don't press the issue too much or you might just lose her.
2006-08-24 07:43:21 · answer #3 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problems with this are two, one being that on a level she may like the security you offer and the danger of being pursued by a former ex for whom she may still harbor feelings towards. The second problem is you may enflame the issue by bringing it up directly and indirectly and she feels obligated to tell everything is all right.
My advice is to give her some space to sort this out and be there for her when she wants your shoulder.
2006-08-24 07:42:56 · answer #4 · answered by powxmansal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sadly understand this , she is going ottalk ot him either way.
If you tel lyour girlfriend STOP talkingto him , she will think Who the hell are you to tel lme what I can or Cant not do , She wil lsay We are just talking.GEEZUS liten up then she wil ldo it to piss you off anyway.or throw it in your face each chance she gets.
So either move on down the road or show her you do not speak with your ex and you DO know for a fact he is trying ot get back with herand you brign them both together and aks her and hi mface to face what is going on ? If she wants ot go back with him fine say bye and leave her there.
Yes it will hurt but lets face it If you love her let her go , if she loves you she will return to you of her own free will if not then you know she does not love you like you love her.HURTS yes but it would be wel lworth this pain to coem and deal with and move on then keep dealing with it each time she speaks to the ex and then she makes you feel like crap over it.Tell her how you feel , if she does not respect that then drop her right there , she does not wantto understand nor wil lshe show respect towards your feeling.That is a bad relationship and would rather be without her then with her.
2006-08-24 07:43:20 · answer #5 · answered by Glenn T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I where you I'd let her go...She obviously has not let him go after all this time and she might never will...She needs to be alone to think about what she really wants in life and not drag you along...It's rough man...If you're questioning like this, then there's something missing there...You might just try to be friends coz the intimacy will distruct your relationship...Let her get her head together first...Sorry if I'm not much help, but good luck...
2006-08-24 07:41:30 · answer #6 · answered by $&$& 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buddy the best thing I can tell you is to cut bait and run NOW. She still loves him. She won't admit it but she does. She is using you as a pawn to get him back! Your the good guy. The good guy always loses in this game. Try to find a girl who loves you.
2006-08-24 07:40:28 · answer #7 · answered by Lonely Pa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like to keep very clear boundaries with my ex's! There are reason's they are ex's in the first place...if your girlfriend continues knowing it is making you unconfortable...you may need to look closely at her actions rather than her words. Words are easy to come by but it's the actions that show the true heart.
2006-08-24 07:41:25 · answer #8 · answered by Peace&Joy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should start cheating on her cuz that's what she is doing to you. She is giving herself and her time to this EX. even talking is a form of cheating because she is not totally invested with you if she is talking with this guy.. What do you think will come of it?? NO GOOD I TELL YOU!
2006-08-24 07:41:00 · answer #9 · answered by flmh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about saying something like, "My love, I know he was important to you for a long time, and you'll always have the good times to remember. But I hate the way he treated you, and it really hurts me to think of you spending any time at all with him."
2006-08-24 07:43:17 · answer #10 · answered by jplrvflyer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Walk out the door and never return. This women has serious issues and will never change. The drama is part of the fun, trust me I was married to someone like her. The longer you stay the harder it will be to leave, and trust me you will have to leave.
2006-08-24 07:40:11 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋