My wife and I are expecting our first child. I have real problem with putting an infant into daycare. My wife makes about twice what I make. I have the ability to work from home but my income will be diminished. Is it wrong or weird for the father to stay home with the kids while the wife goes off to bring home the bacon?
2006-08-24 07:34:40 · 42 answers · asked by diggerfloyd 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No, it's great! I did this for a year or so when our kids were small, and am doing a version of it -- working from home, at least, even though the kids are 9, 15 and 18.
If your wife is already making the majority of the family income, then you presumably have already dealt with any issues of self-worth that come up (some guys really have trouble dealing with that).
So I recommend it highly. I still have a very close relationship with all the kids, even the teenagers. :-)
2006-08-24 07:41:08 · answer #1 · answered by Scott F 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not wrong for a father to stay home and take care of his children while his wife is working. You can build a great relationship with your child that will help you on later in life with them.. The thing would be about the income. While right now your wife makes twice as much as you do, you still have two incomes right now. Even taking away yours, can still place a burden on your finances. Even if you work out of your home, some money is always better than NO money at all, even if your income goes to take care of the smaller things around the house. It will make you feel that you are taking care of things.
My big brother takes care of his 3 girls right now, and has since they were born. He quit working so his gf could work, and they are on the bare minimums. No room for extras or anything. It bothers him to have to get money from her to pay for the things he enjoys such as video games, cigarettes etc. he wouldnt trade the relationship with the girls though for anything. There never used to be discussions about money until he quit work, now they argue about it a lot- maybe she feels like carrying the whole load is a huge burden.
If by you staying home wont cause that big of a deal, go for it, but in the long run, you should at least see can you work a few hours a week.
Congratulations on the upcoming baby!
2006-08-24 07:47:59 · answer #2 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a hard time imagining a male who wants kids, let alone wants to stay home with them, but more power to you! If your wife is the primary wage earner, it only makes sense if you want to stay home and take care of kids AND it would be the most practical logistical and financial arrangement for your family.
Daycare is extremely expensive- for an infant these days it can cost as much as $175 a week or more. Also you will need to count on times when the child will be ill and someone has to take off work to tend to him/her. No caretaker or daycare facility will take care of an ill child.
If you stay home, you will also have the reassurance that you are caring for your own child and not relying upon strangers (no matter how good a facility or caretaker is, being home with a family member is almost always a better situation for the child.)
I say this as a mother who out of financial necessity had to go back to work when my son was eight weeks old. He is fifteen now but for the first twelve years of his life it was a real adventure for me trying to find, afford and maintain quality care for him. Had I had the option of staying home and working at home, or of my husband staying home I would have been delighted to do so even if I would have earned less working from home.
If you can stay home with your child, and your wife is cool with that, go for the best option for your family.
2006-08-24 07:47:06 · answer #3 · answered by elysianhunter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not wierd.
Ask why you think it's wierd that men stay home and not women.
She makes more money, you can get a night job if you "really" wanna work. She will be at home in the evenings and you can work weekends or evenings - if you must have an extra few hundred a month.
I think it's great that you can be there for the most important times in the child's development - you'll be the one at home with the baby and you can fill in Mom on all the development. You'll be well bonded to the child and that's great.
It's 2006 afterall, so what she makes more money, only makes sense that she would work and you would stay home.
Besides it's only for a few years, then you can go back to work.
2006-08-24 07:41:49 · answer #4 · answered by alwaysbombed 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is not! This is something that you and your wife have worked out so be it! If this works for you than go ahead and do it. Nothing wrong with that. it's not weird either, but commendable! You can be "Mr. Mom", after the movie that was out some time ago. Remember?
This is an excellent way for your baby to "bond" with you too. Not enough fathers would ever dream of doing what you are contemplating! BRAVO to you! I wish a lot more fathers would think of doing this, but they, if they had your situation, would rather take on a second job than stay at home with the younguns!
2006-08-24 07:46:23 · answer #5 · answered by December Princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a brother who worked offshore making good money and did it for years of their marriage when they had their last son (they have 3 total) my sister in law had finished college and was now a RN and so she could work 1 weekend and make what my brother made in a week (week being gone for 7 days) annd they did this for about 4-6 months, well all 3 of their children were being put here and there because my sister in law worked over nights on weekend because she made much more, well it got too hard on everyone. And they could not put 3 children in daycare and could not do it the hours she worked. SO ..... My brother stopped working for about a year, and everyone saw how great it was for him to be with his boys. NOW saying that, It was hard on him at first he is a GREAT dad not just saying it because he is my brother he is really a great dad, but after a year he could not take not working anymore so they managed to put one in daycare and the other 2 went to school. Geesh this is a long story But I guess if you can think of someone who works offshore being a stay at home dad, I would think you could see you doing it also. But it will not be easy, and I believe you will respect women who stay home with their children lol :) goodluck and trust me the guys around you will give you a hard time!
2006-08-24 07:45:18 · answer #6 · answered by kirsten215 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, there is absolutely nothing wrong about it. Besides, its for the sake of your children, that is for a very good cause. Leave aside stereostypes and think practically, you will find it ok. Well, perhaps if I were in your shoes I would have asked myself the question you are asking yourself but dont let yourself be confused. Let your wife fend for the family, at least for now, cause your children really need the income. Best of luck
2006-08-24 07:57:15 · answer #7 · answered by sexy_blue7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly.... get over ur male ego.....
times have changed.... this isnt the 18th century...
men can cook, clean, sew, change the baby...
would you be asking this question if ur wife wanted to stay home and you were the one to go to work....
its not wrong or weird for you to want to stay home with the baby... if not working at all really bothers you, work a different shift than your wife... this way someone will always be home with the child... but do not let your gender keep you from doing what will keep you from worrying about someone else "taking care" of your first child...
i dont mean to sound rude.... but it sickens me to see that there are still such disgusting stereotypes
2006-08-24 07:43:14 · answer #8 · answered by portigean_princess 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not wrong for the Father to be the one at home while his wife works. It is just that women are not traditionally the major income source. It is highly recommended by me that you have a good role to play and that you should enjoy your time with the child.
2006-08-24 07:39:54 · answer #9 · answered by Teacher 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are plenty of stay at home dads. If you can handle infant care and working from home then your set. It is not a bad thing for the dad to stay home! If you can Set up a schedule to do a few things around the house as well as work and babysit be grateful!!
2006-08-24 07:51:54 · answer #10 · answered by kolowski4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋