A fundamentalist christian, a jew and a hindu were travelling in a car. The car breaks down and all 3 are stuck. So they decide to walk to the nearest house and ask if they can spend the night.
They knock on the door of a farmhouse and tell the farmer their story. The farmer tells them that 2 of them can sleep in the house but one will have to sleep in the barn.
The Hindu volunteers to sleep in the barn.
10 minutes later there's a knock at the door. It's the Hindu "Oh, my goodness gracious. There is a cow in the barn and it is against my beliefs to share a room with such a sacred animal".
So the Jew volunteers to sleep in the barn.
10 minutes later there's a knock at the door. It's the Jew "Oh, my goodness gracious. There is a Pig in the barn, and with the whole kosher thing, there is no way that I'm sleeping in there"
So the fundamentalist christian volunteers to sleep in the barn.
10 minutes later theres a knock at the door... its the pig and the cow
2006-08-24 07:24:26 · 19 answers · asked by theagitator@sbcglobal.net 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHA
I AGREE WITH THE PIG AND COW
2006-08-24 07:27:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Jesus and Moses are out playing golf.
Jesus asks Moses what club he should use and Moses replies- Tiger Woods would use a 5 iron, but you should use a 3 wood. Jesus says, "if Tiger would use a 5 iron, then I will too". Plop, right into the pond in front of the green.
Moses goes out and parts the waters of the pond, and helps Jesus find his ball.
Well, this sorta thing happens 3 more times and Moses is getting fed up with parting the waters for Jesus.
So- Jesus is out there walking on the water- looking for his lost golf ball.
A bystander walks up to Moses, looking at Jesus, and asks "who does that guy think he is? Jesus Christ?.
Moses replies- "No, Tiger Woods."
2006-08-24 14:31:39 · answer #2 · answered by Morey000 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on
his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of
hearing all of the bickering. Finally God said, ''Cool it. I am going to set
up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job.''
So down Satan and Jesus sat at the keyboards and typed away. They moused.
They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent
e-mail. They sent out e-mail with attachments. They downloaded. They did
some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job. But ten
minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky,
thunder rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off.
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the
underworld.
Jesus just sighed.
The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted
their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming ''It's gone!
It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!''
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past
two hours. Satan observed this and became irate. ''Wait! He cheated, how did
he do it?''
God shrugged and said, ''Jesus saves.''
2006-08-24 14:31:50 · answer #3 · answered by blueyes2001 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Jesus and Moses are taking a nice leisurely walk along the beach when moses turns to Jesus and says "you know, Lord, I still have it!" and turns and parts the sea. Jesus gives him a sly look and and says "yeah? so do I!" as he walks out onto the water. After a few steps he starts to sink into the water and flails around til he sinks. Moses parts the water again and walks down to pull him out. After he is safe on the beach again Moses looks down "Don't sweat it lord, the last time you tried that you didn't have holes in your feet."
2006-08-24 14:33:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Excellent
2006-08-24 14:32:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LMAO, that's funny. One flaw, though-
There's no way a Jew and a Hindu could travel in the same care with a fundamentalist Christian. The Christian wouldn't allow it.
2006-08-24 14:28:12 · answer #6 · answered by Agent Double EL 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
My favorite Jesus joke goes like this:
Jesus is hanging on the cross, when in a faint breath, he calls "Peter, Peter...". Peter tries to get to Jesus, only to be thrown back by the guards. A few moments later, Jesus again calls "Peter.... Peter...." and again, the guards hold Peter back. Again, Jesus calls "Peter....". Peter finally gets through the guards to see what Jesus wants. "Yes, my Lord.. what is it?" Peter asks. Jesus replies..."Peter, I can see your house from up here."
2006-08-24 14:32:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
When Jesus said "let he who is without sin, cast the first stone". A stone comes flying over the crowd and hits the sinner in the head. Jesus turns and looks at the crowd and says "Oh, Mom, I should have known it was you!"
2006-08-24 14:28:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
so what was the point?
Did the christian start a realtionship with the pig or cow?
2006-08-24 14:28:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's great...
Jesus walked into a hotel, put 3 nails on the counter and said "put me up for the night"
2006-08-24 14:29:25 · answer #10 · answered by amber 1 · 2⤊ 2⤋