I have this ex-bf who I had a really bad relationship with.We have recently tried to start over as friends.I am in a great relationship now and love my life.I have let go of all the bs from my past and was really willing to try being friends and starting over fresh, letting everything go and not dwelling on it.He said he was ready to do the same and that he has a great gf too.At first, everything was going great and I felt good about talking to him again.Then, he slowly started bringing up little things from "us" that went wrong and then it was a full-on attack on me blaming me for everything that happened and telling me that everything that is wrong in his life was caused by me.I tried letting it all roll off my back and talking about other things instead because I REALLY am past it all and just dont care.I let him go ahead and blame me for everything knowing full well it was a 50/50 thing and he is as much to blame as me...but he STILL wouldnt let it die.
2006-08-24 07:20:09 · 10 answers · asked by Ex-Blondie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I eventually ended up telling him this was not working for me and I really could live without his friendship. I told him that I have a greatand fulfilling life now and am happier than I have ever been in my whole life and he needs to move on and stop living in the past so he could do the same. I hate that it ended up like that but what else could I do? Why is it so hard for some people to move on and let go? BTW, it has been 9 months since we talked before this and almost a year since we broke up.
2006-08-24 07:26:31 · update #1
You are a very strong person and are headed the right way! Let it roll. If he has to have someone to blame for his mistake with your OLD relationship then...it's going to be you! Pain caused by someone else can cause you to reject yourself and feel not valued. You have your feelings managed and are not letting them manage you! Don't play the "Blame Game". You have a life and if this friendship puts a damper on it then move on!
2006-08-24 07:32:23 · answer #1 · answered by kimpierce76 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He will have a hard time letting it go until he deals with it. He sounds very angry and bitter. There may also be another reason why he has so much anger and is blaming you? He may just be using the blame thing as an excuse. Whatever the reason... If I were you, I would tell him that he has got to deal with the situation and let it go if he wants to continue in being your friend. If he can't let it go...It's time for you to move on.
2006-08-24 14:41:24 · answer #2 · answered by Lei-Loo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not as easy as it seems. I have a hard time letting go of the past myself, and it is ruining our relationship. I know one has to forgive first, in order to let go. He must be stuck on some things, let him deal with that, and dont allow him to ruin your life.
2006-08-25 05:08:43 · answer #3 · answered by Mx2 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A person has to want to let the past go, and many don't. They feed off it...use it to get angry, use it to blame all the wrongs in their life on...use it for drama, sympathy, etc.
You can't do anything about him wanting to hold on to the past...you've moved on...next time he wants to vent at you make it clear to him that you HAVE moved on from that, and if he wants to have any kind of friendship with you, he has to do the same. And mean it.
2006-08-24 14:24:05 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Only time will heal this guys hurts. Its really difficult to be true friends with an "ex". I've tried and it never worlks. Tell him is OVER.... and to get over it. If you must, break contact with this guy immediately. Don't answer his calls, email or anything and try to avoid seeing him.
2006-08-24 14:28:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seems you need to let go of the past completely. Including him.
2006-08-24 14:24:11 · answer #6 · answered by Teacher 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i don't know how to get him to drop it either its been 2 years and he still every day will not drop the past and we are on the ends right now so i hope you find away if you do let me know good luck
2006-08-24 14:24:10 · answer #7 · answered by carolea_lamblin 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You can't be friends with that guy. He still likes you. You know it too, but you like the attention too much to let it go.
2006-08-24 14:24:14 · answer #8 · answered by Badspe11er 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sound like neither is over the other, the both of you need to forgive which will lead to forget.
2006-08-24 14:23:50 · answer #9 · answered by flmh 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
stop talking to him. why waste your time and energy. men NEVER take responsibilty for there actions. never. my ex husband still blames for all the crap HE did. i just dont care anymore.
2006-08-24 14:23:09 · answer #10 · answered by mml619 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋