every time my granny says this.. if me or my mother show up and give her some brochures, photographs, and information about different assisted living facilities or options she gets angry and says we are plotting to put her away.... She has done this 5 times now.
She has all her mind, I think . If she wants to hire a lawyer to change her will, she breaks out the phone book, calls one, and does it. She isn't unable to think or make decisions, from what I can tell. I take care of her full time, driving her to appointments, doing her shopping and cleaning her house, and even hired a neighbor to help out with her when I am busy with my children. She has congestive heart failure. SOmetimes when we can't be with her every minute, and she has a hard time doing something on her own and gets upset, she will start telling me she needs to go in a nursing home, and wants me to find her a home to go to. Then, if I offer her any info at all she tells everyone I am plotting to put her away?
2006-08-24 07:10:42 · 14 answers · asked by Daisy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think she wants you to reassure her that you don't plan to do this. Could you possibly hire an assistant to stay with her most of the day? How about Adult Day Care? There are a lot more options than a nursing home. The next time she says this and you try to help, if she gets upset just tell her she is the one who said she wanted to be there and if she doesnt then dont say it anymore. You are there to help her not be tortured. Good luck
2006-08-24 07:19:15 · answer #1 · answered by nimopiba 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is not as young and able as she used to be. You know when you have to ask someone for a favor- it can be a little uncomfortable? Well, this is where life has left her...to rely on others 24/7. To make it worse- it's her own flesh and blood- it would be diff if the people that were watching over her actually got paid to do it. She prob feels as though she doesn't want to hold up her own family..and it can be a bit embarrassing. Remember- she was once a young, beauitful woman who charmed a man and gave birth and raised her own children. Now she has to rely on her fam. If you want to continue to watch over her: tell her that this is what you want to do!! Tell her that you are doing this becasue she took care of you when you were young and now you are saying thank you and repaying the favor!!!
Your grandma will be gone one day and you will be sooo happy that you were a part of her life: she will be grateful always!. But if it is in everyone's best interest to have a trained RN or whatever to be with her at this point, then you can always visit and then she will be with people of her own age and maybe lighten stress in the family!! Good luck!
2006-08-24 07:21:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her go, she will get better care than you or your family cane giver her. Just make sure the nursing home is clean and has plenty of help. Your grandmother will be happier and it will take a lot of burden off the family. don't be up set by her decision. She will make new Friends and get around to a lot of activity's. She may even enjoy life again. Just don't forget to visit once in a while or call.
2006-08-24 07:17:57 · answer #3 · answered by big T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she says this when she feels she is being a burden on you. Help her to the best of your abilities, Otherwise, would having a live caretaker or someone who comes in on a daily basis to help her out be an option. If she says that she wants to go to a nursing home, let her chose her own - it sounds like she is still of sound mind.
2006-08-24 07:20:24 · answer #4 · answered by jtj 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like she is a whole lot like my grandma was! Cranky, ornery - but scared to death of giving up her freedom! She knows she needs help - but won't face it.
First thing I would do is talk to a lawyer. He may be able to get you or your mother custody of your grandma. Then - if something happens, you can make the decisions. Also - you have to approve of her changing legal document. Talk to an attorney soon. You will sleep better at night. Good Luck!
2006-08-24 07:20:36 · answer #5 · answered by Blond Logic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get a court to award you power of attorney for her. She could get into some serious financial trouble with her irrational behavior and capacity issues. She needs full time assistance and monitoring. See a family attorney before she wills away her resources to a shyster or other outsider.
2006-08-24 07:16:23 · answer #6 · answered by badslaw 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just keep loving her and helping her as best you can,
I think with her age and health being like it is the answer to this question isn't going to be needed much longer, and as far as the WILL goes i wouldn't put much thought into that part of her living.
2006-08-24 07:23:12 · answer #7 · answered by imaneight515 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is trying to tell you she wants you around more. She may be stating that she wants to go to a nursing home when she is frustrated with not able to do certain things around the house. Explain to her that when she is wanting to go to a nursing home that you give her information to help facilitate her wishes.
2006-08-24 07:20:41 · answer #8 · answered by Teacher 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is your grandmother...don't do anything...just make sure that besides a Will, that you have a Durable Power of Attorney, a Medical Power of Attorney, and a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate)...Love your Granny for as long as you have her! I miss mine!
Go give your grandmother a hug and tell her how much you Love her!
2006-08-24 07:19:58 · answer #9 · answered by Suzie Q 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give her the phone number to call for "assisted suicide" Thier in the yellow book.
2006-08-24 07:28:02 · answer #10 · answered by zerd12000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋