How do you encourage a 5 year old to stay focused.?

Question

My son is a great kid, he's polite and sweet. He's in kids camp this week and has a hard time staying focused on what is going on. While the other kids are singing and such, my son is off doing his own thing. He's easily redirected, but just has a hard time concentrating on what's going on. Any suggestions I've tried talking to him about it. Thanks

He definately doesn't have ADD or anything like that. That condition is sooooo overdiagnosed.

Answer 1

It sounds like you have a sweet kid, and I don't think he has any mental problems or anything like that. Maybe your son is just not interested in that kind of activity. Does he like to be active? Let him join a sports camp, or something different thats fun for him. However, you could try talking to him again & convince him to stay focused if this is a camp he really needs to go to, and maybe reward him with something nice if he is able to stay focused. Good luck to you and your soon :)

Answer 2

Well...generally speaking, you can't do much about it. He's 5!! His attention span is naturally short. He wants to explore and jump around, burn off energy. I TOTALLY agree ADD and ADHD is overdiagnosed today. I think there's an obvious link between what we now expect our kids to do (sit...sit...and more sitting) and how obese they've all become, and the supposed problems portrayed in their attention spans. Kids used to get to run around, play, explore. Even the time restrains and confines of public school 1st grade are unrealistic. A bunch of 6-7 year olds sitting still for most their day? What a nightmare! And everyone wonders why there's such an issue with our kids being unhealthy. Anyways, sorry, it's a sore point with me, but I don't think you should push too hard for him to focus. If he can be easily redireted once or twice, fine, but beyond that, remove him and let him be a little boy for a while, them maybe he can go back and be interested for a while again. I'm actually surprised your church offers a camp for kids that young, I assume they're not spending the night, but still, expecting all day attention from a 5-year-old is too much.

As for what someone else said about church being boring, not true! Our church has dynamic programs for our kids, aged 2 and up and the nursery. They don't have to just sit and listen, sing a few songs and go. That's not what kids are all about. I believe kids should be taught deference and respect for God's house, but not expected to grasp that idea when they're that little.

Answer 3

At this age you do not have to worry for not focusing on certain things.
1. Did you ask him whether he was interested for the camp?
2. Your son has a lot of things to think and do of his own; but forced him to be in a group for some time.
3. Watch him for some more time in different settings.
4. Understand the things, activities, persons, and games that makes him focus.
5. Then take things up from there on...
6. Remember he is a CHILD.
7. He will have your and his father's inheritance.
8. It's not time to tame, suppress or mold.
9. At this age of just 5 years, just love him and love him.
10. As a parent OBSERVE; do not make opinions.
11. PLeeeaaase do no make comment in front of him

May God make your son a great human being.

Answer 4

He's only 5 years old so there's still plenty of time for him to mature. At the moment he is exploring and trying to be his own person rather than conform to what everyone else is doing (he probably doesn't understand the reason to do what others are doing).

I was the same way, except I was louder and more annoying. I had the "ADD" that everyone is talking about. Your son will be a good man because he will see the world in a different way from everyone else-- who had been forced all their lives to be like everyone else :P. He may even be one of the few that brings about great change because of his open-mindedness.

It isn't a major problem. If he's as nice as you say he is, he will be a wonderful and unique person later on. Just smile and appreciate all his good works and let him know that you love him.

Answer 5

A big thumbs down to the people that said ADD/ADHD and recommended medications without knowing anything more about this child. That's why there is such a drug problem in this country, doctors and pharmaceutical companies are starting them out younger and younger on meds to cope with every little bump in life.

5 year olds develop at different rates. Perhaps your son is not interested in the activites at hand. Perhaps they are BORING to him. I remember being bored to tears in day camp. Maybe you need to pay attention to what he is doing when "doing his own thing" and find him activities more similar to what he enjoys. Ask for his feedback on if he even likes going to camp. Was this something you chose for him to do? Children at that young age are too often enrolled in activities they don't care squat about. Not only do they suffer miserably through the week or month or whatever time frame...they will never develop an interest if it's forced on them. Give him time to mature a bit, let him express his opinions and give him a range of options to choose from.

Answer 6

Just because a condition is overdiagnosed doesn't mean that it doesn't exist.

I was diagnosed with ADD about 20 years ago, and have had many tests verifying the condition. (week long psycological tests as part of early studies on the condition, PET scans, etc.) I grew up with ADD, and still have some elements of the disorder today. It has changed it's nature with age, but hasn't gone away completely.

As a youth, I was very easily distracted. Unless the activity was encompasing enough to overwhelm other distractions I would get sidetracked and go off to something else.

Singing camp songs would last for about 2 songs on a good day. I'd have wandered off to look at the squirrel off to the left. From there I'd go look at the beach, from there, I'd either head back to my tent to change to a swimsuit (which would lead to a distraction in the tent) or just jump in. On the other hand, playing games like "Cops and robbers" involved alot of running around, with constant changes in stimulus so I was constantly engaged and wouldn't get sidetracked.

It's overstated, but sugar was one of my triggers. (Trigger isn't the right word, as I was always distractable, but it shifted my threshold downwards sharply). We later found out that the lactose in milk was another for me. My intolerance to lactose would cause it to make my hyperactive. Other food intolerances could act in the same way, like gluten or some enzymes.

Work with a doctor who specalizes in learning disabilities and have a professional diagnose. If you can eliminate ADD then it'll allow you to focus on other possable biological triggers. (thyroid problems can also have ADD like symptoms, and a competant doctor will check for this before making an ADD diagnosis)

Answer 7

I don't have a child yet, but my friends and I didn't stop wetting the bed until we were about 7ish. Even then I can recall myself having an occasional accident up until I was about 10. He was probably telling his friend that it's okay because he did not want his friend to be embarrassed, as he probably is. He most likely says invalid reasons for excuses, because asking a five year old why they wet their pants is like asking yourself why you have to go to the restroom at all in the first place. He doesn't know anymore than you do. I doubt he's doing it on purpose, and if he is, then he is just craving attention. In bed, I'm willing to bet that he's asleep when it happens, so how can he help that?

Answer 8

I'm sorry, I have to laugh, my 4 year old girl does the same thing! I'll say, please take this toy up to your room. And she'll say ok...then after grabbing the toy she heads for the kitchen, drops the toy and runs outside, forgetting the toy that she was supposed to take upstairs. It doesn't mean that she is bad or misbehaved or even has ADD...she will turn right around when I say, "honey what are you supposed to be doing?" Then the usual response is "opsie, sorry mommy", as she corrects herself.
Perhaps, there is just too much going on around him to stay focused on one thing. Perhaps singing isn't nearly as interesting as something else that catches his eye. So big deal....maybe if you try expressing to him how a part of growing up is learning to concentrate and completing one task before moving onto another. Keep other activites short, and keep lectures short too, that helps with my distracted little one......

Answer 9

For goodness sakes, he's 5 years old!
I'd say you had a problem if he were fifteen. So he get's easily sidetracked. He may always tend to be that way. With a little guidance you will slowly be able to help him. But expect some difficulty in school until he reaches about 8.

Answer 10

Camp? As a father I would say that there will be no focus. I would wait a few years. My parents did not send me to camp when I was young. But I did have ever challenging tasks that they would every so often, throughout the day, create for me. Simple task. Parenting shouldn't be so intangible. Get out and get dirty with them. You will laugh almost the whole time. Don't worry about getting dirty..... you have a shower. And later that evening when it is dusk and your son has just slipped off into lollipop slumber, you can reflect back on the dirt filled day. Bet you'll smile. Best of luck. Mike