He wants us to be committed and I told him it was too soon. Because of this, he thinks I am playing games. Lately, he has been having this attitude where I can tell something is wrong with him, but when I ask him, he says he's cool and doesn't have a problem with me.
We've had sex and last night, he spent the night at my house (I'm an adult), but I didn't want to have sex. He tried again this morning and I said no so he got up and left. I knew he had to leave early for work, but he left an hour earlier than I thought he would and then I had to ask him for a hug instead of the hug I automatically get.
He won't tell me what's wrong, but I know something isn't right and I'm getting tired of this. To me, he's acting like a woman, where he says nothing is wrong, but you know something is. He says he doesn't like to let small stuff bother him, but it obviously is and it's affecting US.
What do you guys think is wrong and how should I handle this situation. What should I do? Please help.
2006-08-24 07:01:48 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I never said I didn't want a commitment. I said it's too soon. It's been a month and I plan on telling him soon that I'm ready, but with this attitude switch, I'm not so sure anymore.
2006-08-24 07:08:05 · update #1
One more thing...I was planning on a special night this Saturday and going to tell him that we could be together, but now it looks like he is going to have to work.
2006-08-24 07:16:49 · update #2
The guy has already made it clear he wants to be committed. You don't and that's great that you were honest with him. You can't have it both ways though. You want all the love and caring that goes along with a committed relationship but you aren't giving anything back. You continually reject him expect him to come back for more. He has probably given you all the time he can emotionally to make a decision to be committed or not. With your refusal to have sex he probably feels like you are even farther from a commitment than you were. He is probably pushing way away from you emotionally to preserve his sanity. How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot? I guarantee he's NOT smiling at work today.
2006-08-24 07:10:37 · answer #1 · answered by maywald32 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
okay, He does have a prob with this. First we need to understand that even though men appear to be tough and rough, they are human and actually feel rejection a lot more than women do. He wants to know that you are not moving. This way, he feels that you wont leave him.(and in a way, his work is done) His ego needs a little stroke. All guys are different. In this situation, he just may have a lower self esteem and wants to not worry about you dating others. Once you tell him "no"- he starts thinking more and more..why?? Am I not good enough, etc. If you don't want to be committed fully to him, then tell him you want to date others. But one very important thing I have learned- is to love the one you're with- especially if he is a good guy and treats you fabulously- if not- then- it's your life- date, date, date!!!!
2006-08-24 14:11:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You already know the answer to this question. He wants commitment, you don't simple. So he does not have to tell you what you already know.. He needs reassurance about where the relationship is heading. He is not acting like a woman, he's just acting immature.. Talk to him, let him know how you feel and why you feel as you do. No false promises, just be real.. Take care and good luck..
2006-08-24 14:06:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He wants to be in a committed relationship is what is wrong. He obviously loves you but you're not reciprocating. Ask yourself how you would feel if you wanted to marry some guy but he is commitment-phobic, it would stress you out. You also have to know that most guys have problems expressing their feelings and emotions unlike us females so give him some space. Make sure your timing is right when you ask him what is wrong...give him time to open up. Just be patient for now. Good luck!
2006-08-24 14:06:20 · answer #4 · answered by Emi 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think the problem may be that he wants to be committed to you, but you don't feel the same and it's messing with his head. It's time to have a sit down about where you intend this relationship to go in the future. He needs to know if there is hope, or not. If you tell him no, there is no hope for a commitment from you, don't be surprised if he leaves.
2006-08-24 14:05:55 · answer #5 · answered by blue 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
u should really think about what's 2 soon cuzz it's rare 2 find a guy that want's 2 be committed especially if he want's 2. if u really want 2 b wit him u should commit 2 him b 4 it's 2 later cuzz ya ain't official but he can still talk 2 other girls and c what's out there. but u have 2 do it only if u feel it in ur heart.
2006-08-24 14:09:59 · answer #6 · answered by youngknowledge1987 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We do and say things that we are not sure of at the moment but then later it is clear to us what was going on. After only a month of seeing eachother and he is ready to committ and you are not.... there is nothing wrong with that. However I read in your words that him saying that scared you and made you take a step back and now he is calling you on previous actions and words that have been said....... thats why he is calling you a player of games and all........ he is tossing you the BIGGEST guilt trip I have ever heard........... you are better off without him, lose him and move on........... besides if he is true..... you have already trampled his feelings and that isn't right either. You don't want to committ but you can't be intamate with him either......... you don't want him, be honest with yourself and be honest with him.
2006-08-24 14:16:22 · answer #7 · answered by shy&gental 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are both playing games. You don't want a commitment with him but you have him spend the night in your bed?? That is mixed signals to me. That is like telling him you would let anyone do that. He wants to be your only one. If you want him to stop acting like something is wrong then be committed to him. Otherwise stop wondering about what he is thinking.
2006-08-24 14:08:34 · answer #8 · answered by That Girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So you want to play house but not be committed to this guy? Grow up.
And don't message me and ask me a question and then turn off your ability to accept messages.
If you think it's too soon to make a committment to him, then it's definitely too soon to sleep with him and it's definitely not for you to get cranky when the relationship isn't going the way you think it should. A relationship is two people, grow up and learn to listen to his needs too.
2006-08-24 14:03:31 · answer #9 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm sure he has a problem with you not committing to him. Tell him straight up if he is he just going to be a booty call or if your just keeping him around for looks. Quit playing with his mind and make the commitment or dump him.
2006-08-24 14:06:07 · answer #10 · answered by WENDY G 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋