What's the best way to tell a therapist you're moving on if they're not helping you?

Question

I've been talking with a therapist for a few months. I tried ending the sessions a months ago, because she just wasn't telling me anything I didn't already know, and rather than helping me, her lack of experience made matters worse.

She has often seemed surprised when I know something she thought would be "enlightening" to me, or had "insight" about various things she claims most patients have difficulty realizing.

The last time I tried to end sessions, she kept offering that I stay in contact with her occasionally, so to avoid hurting her feelings I did so. Now I'm just ready to move on. I see know advantage of our sessions, and her lack of experience is holding me back, and interfering with progress I've made on my own. How can I tell her I'm moving on to try other alternatives, without offending or hurting her feelings? If I don't do this now, eventually it's going to come out with little tact and raw truth which I'm trying to avoid.

Answer 1

Just cancel any appointment you make with her, and go to a different counselor.

Answer 2

This is a professional person and a professional relationship you're describing, and a true professional does not take it personally when a professional relationship does not work out. You can take it from me: when that happens, I also move on and don't dwell upon it. You cannot function appropriately if you get bogged down worrying about "What if I'd said this instead of that" or "Howcome the patient could't understand the dynamics of our sessions"?
Evaluation of the professional's job performance is the responsibility of his/her supervisor(s) and employer(s) and should remedial training be deemed appropriate, those people will see to it that it's provided.
It is no disgrace, either to you or the therapist, when it does not work out. You might simply say something to the effect that "I'm afraid our sessions are not working out to my satisfaction. Thank you for your efforts, but I must be moving on."
Not a few folks find even that a difficult thing to say, so they don't say anything, but just quit going. The therapist often finds out that the patient/client has gone to a new therapist when the new therapist sends a request to the old one for the patient/client's records and chart (with your permission). So don't sweat it. You gotta do what you gotta do for you, not for her. Good luck with your new therapist.

Answer 3

Just Dont Do Anything And Start Going Somewhere Else, I Dont Think That They Will Notice, No Offince, Thats Just The Way The World Is Now A Days, You're In And Out Of The Door, Just Take The Money, And See You Next Week...

Answer 4

I had to do this very same thing with a women who I think did not like Afro-American people. I found this hard to believe since she was in the helping field. I owed like $30.00 to the agency and she would bring that up and say things like "well you could have paid that $30.00 to the agency" excuse me, I was and still are fighting an addiction! I personally just told her the truth and moved on, there is no other way around it. You have tried, talking to her and she keeps pulling you back in. Just like any other relationship your going to have to plain walk away. Or you could ask to speak with her supervisor and ask to be transferred to another therapist.

I never got all the help I needed, I still struggle with my addiction, although, I have a little control over now due to the first therapist. She left to have a baby and the other therapist moved on. I hope you can find what your looking for and receive the help you deserve. Good luck!

Answer 5

Talk to her but don't be insulting. Just let her know that you appreciate her efforts. However, you just don't think that this is the right course of treatment for you. Make it about your needs and what is the healthiest for you. Don't mention that you think it is her lack of experience. I love to study mental health and I have been confronted with therapists that although they have a degree I seem more educated on certain topics (not all). It is not an insult to them. They are trying to help. However, if it is not benefiting you then you are wasting your time as well as theirs. Not to mention they could be actually helping someone within that hour they are wasting with you. (not ment in a bad way....only that you are not benefiting and someone else could be) I also think that your therapist as a professional should respect your feelings.

Answer 6

Think of her as a professional that learned in her training that she can't be all things to all people. Remember that she is a hired therapist NOT your friend. There is no reason for you to feel guilty or obligated. In fact, if she is manipulating you to stay knowing that she can't help you that's very dishonest and unprofessional.

Simply tell her thank you but you feel that you've come to a parting of the roads. Good bye. Then leave. Don't discuss it or feel bad or guilty. Just leave.

Good luck.

Answer 7

I imagine you are still seeing her.
Schedule a session and tell her that you need to discuss your treatment. Be open and honest and tell her what you just told us.

Don't let your emotions rule you on this one, if she is not helping your mental state then you must move on. Your well-being is what is most important. Any good therapist will understand that if you don't feel your needs are being met, they aren't the right therapist for you.

If she gets angry, stay calm. If she cries, don't justify it. Pacifying her emotions is what led you to stay on this long. She needs to realize that you are moving on.

Now move along!

Answer 8

You must think of yourself first. You are the most important person in your recovery. If you do not get better, where are you? Therapists are rarely "ethical," and they will continue to collect your money and tell you any story to keep you. I recommend you find someone else immediately, and make an appointment. You do not owe an explanation to anyone!!!

Answer 9

Find someone knew and tell her nicely that you are tying another path, and thank her for her help and caring. You never know when you may need her.

Answer 10

tell them that the therapy their giniv isnt helping very much and go to a new therapist you dont know