If your mom or dad invade your privacy, are they good parents?

Question

This is for a local Kids magazine in Wilmington, NC. I would greatly appreciate you helping us out.

Answer 1

Yes and No it depends what they do

Answer 2

Yes,they are good parents for invading your privacy.
Parents are held responsible for most bad choices his or her child makes until they stop being a minor. Rights to privacy is something you earn as you mature and become independant from your parents. When all choices you make you and you along are held responsible for your choices. Kids need to realize there will be a time when your parents will not invade your space and that time is when the parents will no longer be held responsible for their child's behavior. If the laws were different and there wasn't any difference between ages then I'm sure parents wouldn't care as much. Most Parents do teach their children rights from wrongs and do feel that at a certain age the child has matured enough to be responsible. However if that same child gets involved on line with a predator one of the first questions asked was where were the parents?. If the child gets pregnant, what's the question where were the parents? The child robs , destroys other people property , what's the question? where were the parents? If the kid is tardy for class or doesn't come. Parents have to miss work take a meeting and be scolded on not being a good parent. When the question stops being where were the parents, then kids can have privacy.

Answer 3

Raising a child right is the hardest job in the world. I started teaching my daughter at a very young age to be responsible, caring, empathetic, etc. I also started talking to her a young age about both the positive and negative things that can happen in her life. I also never slacked on disciplining her. She is now a teenager and has proven to be responsible, caring and able to see the consequences of her actions before she makes a choice. I respect her privacy and I continue to talk to her about things that may come up in her life and how she would handle these situations. Even though she doesn't want to talk about them sometimes, I push it because I tell her she needs to know before the situation comes up. I am her parent first and sometimes can act as her friend but the boundaries have always been clear.

If I perceived any warning signs that she was hiding something from me, I would not hesitate for a second to invade her privacy. Her safety and well being is the most important thing to me. I do not go through life believing that my child would never make a wrong choice. I have seen where parents ignore warning signs that their child may be in trouble until their situation is so bad that it can't be ignored. This is unfortunate because more damage is done to the child and it takes alot more time and effort to deal with the situation at that point.

Parents need to be vigilant. Your child(ren) may hate you for awhile but at some point in their lives, they will thank you or at least understand.

Answer 4

Depending on the age of the child and the circumstance, there are situations where a parent has to be a parent first! If that means they are invading their child's privacy then that's what they have to do! As long as the child is not hurting him/herself or anyone else, a good parent knows where the boundaries lie. Also, if you have good parents and a good child (conscientious, responsible, with morals, etc.), this situation would most likely not arise. I hope this helps!

Edit:
The responses, so far, are impressive! Both from kids and parents alike! I'm glad to see so many responsible adults who are giving their children a good start for a long, healthy, and happy life! It's amazing how kids recognize this as well!

Answer 5

Unfortunately, it completely depends on the motives. If they are snooping just to "see what you're up to" or because they are curious, that is bad. If they are doing it becuase they know you're into something dangerous and they are trying to protect you, that is a good thing. It is difficult to tell the difference between these two things which leads me to believe that it is best as a parent to simply not invade a child's privacy.

If you are truly concerned about your parents snooping, I would suggest keeping a diary and other "incriminating" evidence in a place where they cannot find it or would not think to look. You can also protect it with a padlock or the old hair-across-the-opening trick to test for invaders.

Answer 6

yes, when parents do what's right, teens often feel their privacy is violated. Legally parents are responsible for kids' behavior. They should be very on top of what the kids are doing, but be able to be there without snooping, etc. But many parents can't communicate well and going thru someone's room when they are not home is the only idea they have for finding out if their kid is doing drugs or having sex or whatever. Legally you have no right to privacy when you are living in your parents' house. Move out and get your own place and pay your own bills if you want privacy. For example i believe if your parents pay for your cell phone then it makes sense they should be able to see it, check it out, answer it, take it away or whatever. I don't feel they should come in the bathroom when you are taking a bath though. There are limits.

Answer 7

Yes. Parents need to know what's going on with their kids to be able to responsible parents. If they suspect drugs, condoms, cigarettes, or something silmilar are in the kid's room, then the privacy should be invaded and the child confronted. If the child is not a trustowrthy child or s/he has proven to be untrustworthy in the past, then a tighter leash must be places on the child, and that usually will include limiting their privacy.

No. Parents need to allow kids to grow up and be responsible for their decisions. Reading your kid's diary for fun will never create a feeling of trust with your child, and in fact will create more rebellion, secrecy, and resentment. Privacy should not be violated unless there is a valid concern. Children should be building the trust of their parents their whole lives, then the parents won't feel the need to micromanage their lives.

Answer 8

My opinon is that parents can also be good without invading their child's privacy. I'm an only child and my parents are opposites. My mom is the one with the whip and my dad is really laid back. With my dad around, I can do whatever I want, within reason,of course. I know that I can talk to my dad if I have something to talk about or just do whatever I want to do.

My mom on the other hand is bossy and thinks her way to do things is the only way. She always seems to manage to turn the average conversation into a lecture. Yes, its very annoying and even starts us into arguments sometimes.

Answer 9

In my opinion, it's kind of like a police search -- they should have some kind of probable cause before they just go and randomly toss the kid's room for no reason. Kids have to gradually earn trust & privacy from their parents as they grow, mature, and become more independent. Parents want their kids to trust them, but random searches aren't going to lead to a mature, trusting relationship. Snooping without reason violates that trust and if the child finds out, will be destructive to the relationship as the child works harder to be secretive & protect his/her privacy.

If parents notice a change in behavior (emotional withdrawl, sudden mood swings), if their child is hanging out with a new group of friends, or if they overhear something that makes them suspicious, I think they should first talk to their child. Too many times, parents assume their children won't talk to them or will lie (which kids sometimes do, but sometimes they tell the truth, too, and have to be given a chance!) so instead of trying to communicate, the parents will go looking in the child's room or personal belongings for clues or evidence. If parents expect their children to trust them, they have to act in a trustworthy manner. Trying to communicate shows trust & respect, and sometimes kids will respond to that & just answer the questions. Other times, they will see the questions themselves as an invasion of privacy. Still, I think communication should be the first option, and it should be tried at different times & with different approaches before the parent resorts to other measures.

Now...that being said...if a parent suspects a child is into something really bad and can't get any information out of the child any other way, invading the child's privacy might be justified. If the parent's intent is to protect the child (as opposed to the instinct to fight over who's in charge) an invasion of privacy when all else has failed might be the last resort & might be necessary. After all, if a parent is serious about protecting their child, they may have to decide which is more important: respecting the child's privacy, or finding out if there's really something going on that the child needs to be protected from.

Answer 10

If a parent is not aware or interested in the life of their child then they are not parents at all. However, if they invade by crossing the line such as cameras, spying and breathing down your neck. That's another story. There needs to be a level of trust between the child and parent. Conversation will be the best solution to avoid misunderstandings and possible problems in the relationship.

Answer 11

There is a fine line to be drawn between invasion and parenting.
Invasion of privacy is not good and shows distrust, on the other hand we as parents sometimes have to use methods that allow us to somehow gain some insight on our children's activities.
We know more than we get credit for and we also know how the bad guys work when it comes to Internet tracking, stalking, and worse. We do from time to time walk that fine line and even possibly step over the line if need be for your protection and when our children have children they may need to do the same to protect the ones they love.