how do I stop my two year old son from hitting me?

Question

My son hits me with his fist, open handed, with his toys, He is 36 lbs and 3' tall. I have tried ignoring it, time out, sent to his room, I even tried hitting him back. I don't know what to do. He goes to his fathers everyother weekend, of course he doesn't do it there. He doesn't hit my husband. Just me. Doesn't matter who is around or not. I don't know what to do. Please help

Answer 1

HAHA...ALL of these answers are totally stupid. Ever watch super nanny? When he hits you, go to his room and find one of his favorite toys, and throw it away. Next time, remind him what you did last time and get another favorite and throw it away. Don't cave, and don't give it back...it's GONE forever. It will only take 3 toys tops and he'll stop. Worked for my Sister with 1 Thomas the tank engine.

Answer 2

I have this same problem. My 2-year-old isn't doing it with ANY sense of malice, he just thinks he's playing with me or engaging me in a "fun" game. He doesn't hit his daddy, just me, probably because he sees that it upsets me so much.

I have a very deep-seated notion that hitting back cannot possibly be the answer for teaching a toddler that hitting is wrong. A notion which my husband unfortunately does not share with me.

Time-outs haven't worked, and ignoring the behavior doesn't work either. The past couple of weeks, after he's hit me once and I've told him NO, if he hits me again, I push him away and tell him that I'm not going to play anymore, and that seems to break his heart, cuz that's all he wanted to do in the first place. This seems to be different than ignoring the *behavior*, cuz there's a consequence to his action: you won't play with him or put up with it. After he cries for a while, and I've pushed him away long enough, I ask him if he's sorry, and tell him not to do it again, hug him, and continue with what we were doing in the first place.

The behavior crops up again, but now that I have a plan for dealing with it, rather than blowing up, I can calmly deal with it and not just yell ineffectually and get madder and madder. I'm hoping that this is just a phase that will eventually go away.

Hope this helps, and good luck!

Answer 3

I cannot understand or maybe the people who are answering this question with "hit him back" or "give him a good spanking" are simply uniformed or giving stupid answers.

Consistency is essential, and setting limits is also very important. To say that something isn't working when trying so many different things is not effective. Stick with the same thing and ensure that he gets the same negative result each and every time. I too have a 2 year old who sometimes hits or throws things, and I try very hard to make sure that the consequence is followed through each and every time. After a time out and stern talking to, I follow through with having him say sorry to whoever was involved. I know that his hitting will not disappear overnight, but hopefully Im instilling in him that it is not acceptable and that he will be removed from the situation each time he does it.

Answer 4

Wow, does he see you as a strong parental figure that sticks to your guns or do you cave when he starts to throw a fit? Spanking him will just encourage him to hit. If mommy does it, it must be ok. You see, to him, Mommy spanks him because she doesn't like what he has done, if he doesn't like what you have done (scolding or time out), he will think that's the right response. Be consistant, tell him very sternly We do not hit. Hitting hurts. Mommy doens't want to be hurt. Put him in time out (the same place every time) and he needs to stay there one minute for each year. He should stay there for 2 minutes since he is two years old. You must be consistant and strong. Do not talk to him while he's in time out. Make it short and to the point but not losing your temper. After time out is over (you can set a timer so he konws when it's over too) get down on eye level and repeat what you said earlier. Don't forget the hug afterwards, even if you're still frustrated. He is testing the waters to see what is appropriate and with you being consistant with time out, he will get the hint. If he gets up before time is up, calmly put him back, tell him you are in time out because you hit mommy. Eventually he'll get it and stay. My two year old responds well with good choice/bad choice. She loves it when you tell her in a happy way she's making a good choice and she can tell you when she's in her fit that she's making a bad choice and usually chooses to stop so mommy will be happy seeing her rmake a good choice.

Answer 5

I think that when you have reached a limit of things that you could do at home it is time to seek for profesional help I did I raised tow of my own and the oldest was always living home everytime I came from work that was his way out on me for not having the father around. So stop hitting him, just punish him in the one things he loves more or a favorite food but my best advise is to get help you never know you might just have a very bad day and you might hurt him with out any bad intension.

Answer 6

your son is two years old so he is testing EVERYTHING...he doesnt do it to his father because he knows he can't get away with it there. what you need to do is when he hits do NOT yell at him. get down to his level and take his hand and lightly slap it, then tell him that hitting is not nice and tell him to say he is sorry and if he does it again you are going to take away his favorite toy until he learns to not hit people. putting him in time out and sending him to his room and hitting him back is only going to make him more upset, thus prone to do it more often. by taking things away from him it is showing him that every action has a reaction. when he tell you he is sorry reward him, give him a hug or put his favorite movie in or even make him his favorite snack...hope this helps

Answer 7

Constancy is the key. And never resolve to hitting him back. A spanking is a different story but never hit a child.~In your sternest voice look into his eyes and make him look into yours, say "No we do not hit, hitting hurts and you never have the wright to hurt another person. We use our words when we get angry, not our hands." "How would you feel if Mommy hit you"? If he does not answer you give him the words."It would make you fell sad and ma by even mad wouldn't it"? "I want you to sit in the corner and think about how to use your words to talk to me instead of hitting."~ Time out should be completely secluded. In my opinion 5 minutes is a fair amount of time. Be consistent Mom!It may take some time but it will work! Good Luck!

Answer 8

Lady, I would be old fashioned and say " tear his little a*s up" but I'm expecting a little boy and I don't want to be very physical when it comes to disciplining him. So, you might want to try seeking some help. Like, research on overly physical/ abusive children. Maybe he should engage in physical activities, going outside, running, playing. I'm not sure, and really try talking to him, tell him that bad behavior does not get rewarded, and every time he does the hitting thing, he will get something taken away and every day he is good with no incidents he gets a point, and when he gets so many points he gets a special treat( of his choice) not too big, not to small. My mom used that system when potty training me, and it worked magic!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 9

When he hits you, take his little hand in yours and hold it firmly and tell him in an stern but low voice "You do not hit,hitting hurts." Make him sit in time out with no toys, t.v or other distractions for 2 minutes. When time is up, make sure you tell him that it hurts your feelings when he hits you and ask for an apology. You will have to stay the course on this one and do not tolerate it anywhere otherwise he will be confused and continue to hit.

Answer 10

I would tell him NO! That hurts mommy. A trick that helped my oldest sister was anytime her son hit she hit his favorite toy. He didn't realize that it hurts but for some reason it bothered him when she hit something he loved.
I do wish you the best of luck. Have you tried time out or anything like that? The key to doing time out is to make sure you don't talk to them, just put them in time out and walk away, if they get out, dont say anything just put them back in it.