Ok-I just turned 21 years old and we went out and partied on July 15th. It is now August 24th and I would like to go out again! I haven't been out since July 15th. My husband & I have a small child and when we have a babysitter, I would like to go out and have a drink. He will not let me go out on my own and uses the excuse for not going out is that I am a mother and I should settle down. I am only 21 years old-I believe that I am a good mother. I spend time with her everyday. But sometimes you just need a break. What should I do?
2006-08-24 06:09:48 · 51 answers · asked by Stacey P 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If you're a good mother, then you definitely deserve some time for yourself. You're husband should understand this. You're 21, you've grown up fast, and that's okay. You do need some time for yourself. Drink responsibly, THIS is important. DRINK RESPONSIBLY.
2006-08-24 06:13:31 · answer #1 · answered by Kiara 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Ask your child if it is a good idea for Mommy to go out drinking and partying. Just explain to the child that Mommy just wants to go out and get drunk and dance with men that are not Daddy because she needs a break from you.
Over ten thousand kids are sexually abused every year by the trusted baby sitter while Mommy and Daddy were out partying. It would never have happened if they hadn`t gone out.
Several thousand kids die every year while under the care of babysitters when Mommy and Daddy were out partying. It would never have happened if they had not gone out.
The #1 reason children die, are injured, are scalded, raped, beaten, disfigured in a single mom house is because they went out partying while the boyfriend, babysitter, nieghbor, uncle, aunt etc looked after their child.
If your Husband was going out partying to get away from you, you would think he was a bad husband. Your child will know you are a bad Mommy.
It`s lifestyle change time Babe. Being a Mom will be the most important thing you ever do. From here on out its Disney movies. Shopping at the Mall for your child not for you. Rarely will anything be for you anymore. You made this family, you chose your husband, you chose to have this child. If you don`t like it leave it so your husband, the better parent, can raise the child and you can chase your selfish ambitions all you want.
OR... you can choose to enjoy the most fulfilling life, far beyond your dreams, by raising an incredible special human being that will love you more than anyone else on earth for as long as you live.
2006-08-24 07:16:33 · answer #2 · answered by Gone Rogue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes its assumed that if you were ready for a family, that you were ready to settle down. But you do need to enjoy a little you-time.
On the other hand, there is you-time and Tara Reid-type of party going. Just make sure you are not going over board. Once a month doesn't sound like too much to ask, but keep in mind that marriage is compromise and parenthood is sacrifice. As long as you aren't sleeping in because of partying hard and not doing your share because its time to go out, I don't see a problem. You are a mom, now. Not the average 21 year old.
Another problem could be if your husband is older. He may have gotten the partying out of his system already and may expect you to do the same. I am 22 and my husband is 35, we have two kids, and are happily married, but thats because I was very big on partying when I was young and got tired of it earlier than other people my age.
Go with the flow but be considerate of your husband's feelings.
2006-08-24 06:18:53 · answer #3 · answered by tiger_lilly33186 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and party. Most babysitters rejoice when they are asked to babysit, cuz they need the extra cash. I watch kids all the time when parents want to go out with old friends and plenty of them drink. Some of the kids I watch have sunday school teachers for parents and those are the ones who call me most often, cause they just need a break. As long as the babysitter has a safe ride home, then it's totally okay.
2006-08-24 06:23:53 · answer #4 · answered by hodagwriter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will not like the answer I am about to give you, but here it comes, you chose to get married, and have a child, I take it. You have obligations now. If would be better to have your girlfriends over, or just make a lunch date, only go to the bars with your husband. Does your husband work hard? Do you work as a unit? Do you want out? These are serious questions you need to figure out, only to be fair to your child and husband. You can still party and be young, but why not bring it to your house, with hubby's imput, and maybe some of your friends can do so at their house, you know, family BBQ's
2006-08-24 06:20:07 · answer #5 · answered by Hope E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Going out with hubby, meeting with friends outside the home, at a nice friendly lounge for dinner, dancing and drinks is healthy! It's like a refresher for you and your hubby. Reminiscing your dating days and keeping romance in your marriage! Every one including Mothers should break away from daily chores now and then. I agree with most of the answers you have received, that once a month is nice. As long as you don't over do it, like getting drunk and waking up with a nasty attitude because of a nasty hang over. If you find you can't control the drinking end of it, then settle for a dinner out, dancing and a soft drink will be just as pleasant and relaxing. You will come home in a refreshed mood and ready to face the next day with a smile. It also doesn't hurt to have a "Girls night out" just like the men have a "Boys night out". I wouldn't suggest going to a lounge though. On a "Girls night out" would be more appropriate to have dinner, or lunch then shopping. Something that you and your friends enjoy doing, some like to play card games, some like to go to Bingo... Bingo use to be very popular. There are so many things you can do to take a break for yourself. And so many things you and hubby can do together. Good luck to both of you.
2006-08-24 06:35:42 · answer #6 · answered by Vida 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you are on deaths doorstep, you can have a life and still be a good mother. I am going to be 47 soon and I have a 21 year old. I tried to make a date night at least once a month to keep my sanity. Becoming a parent does not mean you have to now be confined to your home or baby, 24/7. Maybe your husband is envious that your friends still want to have a girls night out and he has no male friends to have a boys night out. Been there, done that one. Good luck. Your still human, have fun.
2006-08-24 06:19:29 · answer #7 · answered by armymom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just turned 21 and my son is 2 and trust me, I go out I have lots of fun. As long as my baby has eaten and taken a bath and in bed by the time the babysitter comes he never knows. And I know people who take their babies to parties with them so tell ur husband their are many reason why a mother needs a break!
2006-08-24 06:14:24 · answer #8 · answered by MELISSA 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hey your husband sounds insecure to me. I am 35 and have a husband and 3 KIDS, and let me tell you that if i dont get out once in a while i dont know if I could handle being a good mom and wife.
Sometimes we just need to get away from the everyday life. We need to kick off our shoes and have a night out with the girls.
Talk to your man and explain that you just need a few hours, and that one day he will also need that time.
Communication between the 2 of you will open up all the doors to a great relationship!
Good Luck and have a drink for me.
2006-08-24 06:20:04 · answer #9 · answered by misscanada_y2k 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Everyone needs a way to relax from the worries of life..there is a right way and a wrong way..if you are saying go out get drunk and make a fool of yourself then no..but to just go out and have a little fun it's ok but you should include your husband in it or it could cause problems in your marriage that cannot be overcome..so what means more to your mentality? Your marriage or partying? Find a way to have fun with each other that will strengthen your marriage and family.
2006-08-24 06:19:12 · answer #10 · answered by swan1976 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone deserves a break sometime and having a drink is not a bad thing just as long as it does not turn into a habit but i see no problem in you wanting to go out and having some "you" time let him know how you feel and as long as you have someone responsible to care for you child go out and have a lil fun ... maybe he is afraid if you go out for a drink without him you may find someone else or something along those lines but anyways just go do it he will get over it eventually ...your a mom you deserve to be able to get out and do something you want , you carried that baby for 9 months and delivered it and take care of it every day so go have some fun
2006-08-24 06:14:57 · answer #11 · answered by isthisthingon79 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋