How do I tell my kids I want to have gender reassignment surgery?

Answer 1

God I hate people who have the nerve to call you selfish, but are so narrowminded themselves.

Yes it won't be a pleasant experience for your kids, but selfishness would be letting your kids keep you from who you truly want to be - you need to stop lying to the world.

It really depends on how old your kids are. I think I'd do the following only with mid-teens+. If they are quite young, let them mature, but in the meantime educate them about this sort of thing, and how you accept it (and will support them) and just because some people don't, doesn't make it wrong.
(Morality is a tough thing... Society will consider it 'abnormal' but unlike one of the definitions of abnormality, it does not mean you cannot live inadequately.)

I'd advise you to just get them together (assuming plural) and have a serious sit down talk about everything, what it is, why you chose to do it, what will happen to you, and most importantly, how it will affect them.
It might scare them, but the fact is you will still be the same parent, whatever gender. Aslong as you can still support them, love them and offer them everything they have now, they have no reason to keep you from an identity change, other than their own personal feelings, but how open-minded they are to transvestites, transexuals etc is usually dependent on how a parent has conditioned them. (If you have brought them up believing these things are okay, they should not reject you for it.)

You can't keep this type of information to yourself. My Mum's old college friend is going through gender reassignment at the moment, and he's part of a support group. He says that so many suicides occur within their group, that you have to be strong in these times. Even if your kids don't like the idea, you can't let it rule you.

Are you currently undergoing the psychotherapy?
Anyway, best of luck, I hope it goes well!

Answer 2

I think it's sad that you've gotten a few angry answers. If you really feel like you need to do this then it's your right. I would seek the counsel of a psychotherapist experienced with transsexual issues. They can help facilitate the conversation between you and your children. It's going to be difficult and they may not understand right away so they need the added help of this facillitator.
If there is a local Unitarian Universalist Church in your area they are a very welcoming community and may also be able to provide support and resources for you. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

It never ceases to amaze me how cruel and hateful people can be when answering these questions!

You do what you need to do. I would have to agree with consulting the professionals first. Get in touch with local surgeons that do this type of procedure, they will be able to help you through the decision making process and refer you to counselors that will help you make the transition once the decision has been made.

Personally, I would wait until my children have had an opportunity to mature. In the mean time, I would foster an accepting atmosphere at home, teaching them about acceptace for people with different gender orientation, sexual preference, race, and religious beliefs.

Answer 4

I'm not sure the answer to your question. I'm not even sure that this is a real question.
The only advice I have for you would be to see professional help in regards to telling your kids. There are counsellors that know about this kind of stuff. I am sure that your doctor would want you to see one before have the surgery anyway. Family counselling wouldn't hurt either.

Answer 5

i'm sorry,but normally i can understand cross-gendered people,but they feel like that since childhood,and didn't use their "reproduction tools" so i'm sorry,but even considering this while having kids already....ur gonna get them screwed up like that...you cannot use the excuse of always having felt that way...so in my opinion you should forget about your selfish desire(cuz that's what it is)if you were true to yourself,you wouldn't have made them kids,so if ur a real caring parent,you'll see that for you it's too late to go ahead with surgery...think about the life ur kids are gonna have for society is hard on these matters...to me it looks you have no choice but to be there for your kids,not screwing them up with something they could never apprehend...you should have made that decision BEFORE having that sex that resulted in the kids you have now....obviously you did not,so ur stuck with the consequenses.. if you really love your kids,you wouldn't even be asking this question here,let alone going for the surgery!!!i have 4 kids myself,and a granddaughter...whom i would die for...i'm sorry but your prob is being selfish,not being in the wrong-genderred body...go for the shrink,not for the sex-change...good luck!

Answer 6

Politely, patiently, and as open minded as you hope they are.

realize that this is something you have probably considered for YEARS, but something they know nothing about. It WILL be a shock.

be prepared for them to ask a lot of questions, to NOT take you seriously, to possibly walk out, or threaten to never speak to you again. This kind of discussion is something they could never anticipate and their reactions will range from anger to confusion to disgust to denial. Carefully think out the words you want to tell them, but realize this discussion is something you can't possibly know how it is going to end up.

best of luck to you, if you have a loving family, it may take time, but they may come around to understanding that this is the best thing for you (if it truly is) and that doctors don't agree to this surgery lightly. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 7

First of all, your happiness is most important to your kids - you have to be yourself and if that's being another gender, so be it! They'll grow up and get over it. It will be a shock at first, but if they love you, they'll learn to understand.

Don't expect them to understand right away. It will take time. But you are not being selfish to want happiness. Just be gentle and honest and make sure you reaffirm that you love them!

Answer 8

Kudos for you for even asking this question. Some of your answers ar edown right mean. I think that if this is some thing you need for yourself then yes, you need to invlove your kids. I think that some group counseling will help with your kids maybe getting a general idea of how you feel and why you need to do this for yourself. anyway, i think you might just want to bring in support for you when telling your kids because you never know how they are going to take it. and maybe just maybe they already knew.............

Answer 9

There is going to be no easy way to tell them,no matter how old they are.If possible wait until they are old enough to understand what and how you are feeling.Best of luck,and l hope everything works out for you.

Answer 10

WOW...Kids are usually more understanding then adults! I am sure your kids already know that you are "different" I think you should just go off how they feel about you being "different" and pretty much go from there...you might just be surprise of their reaction.....GOOD LUCK