Why am i always last?

Question

Come from a family of five;four girls,one boy who is the youngest.I am the youngest girl and i always seem to be considered last in everything.Firstly,here in Africa,having many children gives you a high status,more esp if they are boys,meaning, boys were,and in most cases,still are considered more important than girls.I live with my Dad and,ofcourse,the eldest is treated like a jewel.So is the 2nd born coz she's doing so well in school.It's always surprised me how the 3rd seems to get away with many things and when i do less offensive things,i'd always get beaten up or shouted at!I'm 18 now and Dad feels no shame at shouting at me in public(not to mention that he no longer shouts at the others).The 3rd born recently got pregnant and Dad hasnt so much as even politely lectured her.I feel awful and as though i have no place in this family.The youngest,being a boy is always favoured while i've to practically beg for the things i need.How do i deal with this so it doest affect my future?

Answer 1

You know what? Moving out and moving on would probably be the best thing for you. You can still love your family, but no one should have to live like that. Love them from afar.

Answer 2

Just asking the question of "why am I always last?" points to a seemingly strong fact that you think of yourself as last. It doesn't matter what anybody else thinks of you....it's what you think of yourself. If you think you are first, you will be first. A famous writer once said: "You are what you think about all day." How strange it is that this is true. If you think you are worthless, then you are. If you think you have value, then you do. The most difficult thing in the world to do is to constantly give ourselves positive messages especially when someone else gives us negative messages. Frankly, I'd turn to the person who gives me a negative message and say that such statements were counter productive and not worthy of their station in life. Lift up your enemies and your enemies will lift you up. Try saying positive things about them to them. Give a small compliment, "I like your tie." "I appreciate the help you gave (name of person)." Find something to compliment every chance you can. They may think you're nuts, but see what happens over time. It couldn't be worse than it is now, right? And while you're at it, give yourself little compliments without letting anyone know what they are. Not only give others a boost, but give one to yourself as well. What could it hurt?

Answer 3

I would either go to college full-time if your family will pay for it and then spend as little time at home as you can and maybe your father will change. Or get a full-time job and move out, I have no idea if this is realistic in South Africa but it sounds like you have a abusive father and it might be best to distance yourself from him and your family if you feel they dont teat you right. You are 18 so you should have the right to leave if you want, tell him or all of them you want respect now, and if things dont change and your father stays abusive tell them your leaving because of this.

Answer 4

In my family I'm the youngest of 4 with 3 older brothers. Our father has always favored them. He never really wanted me, my mom wanted a girl. He gives them anything they want and me nothing, similar to your situation. I've had to just get used to it, It's going to affect your future either way. If your mother is still available, you may consider going to her. My dad is helping out my brothers but I know he won't help me with school. I have to build my own future and you'll have to do the same.

Answer 5

I live in the united states, and girls here are treated as good as boys. If you want to be treated equally like everybody else here you should move here. If you move away from your parents when you go to see them they will apreciate them more. At least thats what i think. I hope this helps you.

Answer 6

The most important is to know what is the RIGHT THING to do. If you do the right thing, you will have peace in mind. I recommend not to do things just to make them happy. Do things that it is right. When you have peace, the rest will come along.

The question now would be 'What is the right thing?'. If you are religious, pick up your bible and read.

Doing the right thing is kind of hard to do because you have to be patient, and being patient have to throw your pride away.

Reflect within yourself and see the things in bigger picture.

Remember, when you do the right thing the rest will come along.

Cheers!

Answer 7

That is your perception about the things within your family. Have you tried taking the views on the subject from your siblings? Do that. Perhaps your views may change thereafter. Parents do love all their children, and equally well at that.

Answer 8

Wow, you have a bad situation. You should move out and away from them. They treat you like you are worthless. Or you could talk to them and ask your father why he treats you like that.

Answer 9

wait few more days...everything will be fine. Hope for the best. One more thing your parents are polight with your sisters and thats why they are making so many mistakes like one of your sister is pregnent now. Do you want to be pregnent ??? parents never distribute inequally....they are always equal with their every single children. they do what is the best for them.

Answer 10

If you can get a job and get on your own two feet, then I'd suggest moving out. You need to move on and have a life of your own, you deserve it! :)