please help anyone?

Question

long story but i asked a question last time and yeah but my gf isnt telling her parents the whole story about me and its buging me. i don't wanna lose her becouse she is a great person but i wish she wouldnt lie to her parents about me.

what should i do? ask her to tell her parents or ask why she is lieing?

i mean its a lie to her parents still bad but if we start out in all lies our relationship will turn into lies and i'll dump her couse i hate liers.

please help

i met her at a dance thing and we danced a long time and she asked for my number and calls me but she sed she has never called me

Answer 1

that is so graet that you want to be honest talk to her and tell her what you feel
and you know whee to go from there

Answer 2

Okay, I read your original question.

I will start out by saying yes we should all have a healthy respect for the truth. But it sounds like you guys are pretty young, and (correct me people if I'm wrong here) young people often lie to their parents about particulars of a relationship. It's when she's lying to YOU that you need to be careful (although I am sure that her lies to her parents make you wonder...).

It sounds like she just 1) doesn't want her parents to realize that their little girl is actively pursuing guys (and thinks that by playing down her calls to you she'll look more passive and they might not have a problem with the relationship) or 2) doesn't want her parents in her business, period.

To me, this isn't a huge red flag. Ask why she's lying and I think it will shed a lot of light on the issue. You don't have to confront her so she gets defensive, just ask her gently and she'll probably explain everything.

Answer 3

It's hard to reach a definitive answer since I don't know the nature of the lie. I am part cajun and when I was in school, my girlfriend lied to her parents and told me never to tell them...as her daddy would have killed me.

If you insist on such a rigid grasp on the truth, but your girlfriend knows something about you that "can't" be told; then you should both amicably part now before things get ugly. Either you're going to tire of the lie or she's going to tire of your upset about her lie or her parents are going to find out and probably break you up anyway. Thus, it is better to peacefully part now, hopefully as friends.

Answer 4

ok..what i hear in this story, is not that she's lying to her parents. there are plenty of reasons why she may do so..and i must commend u for having that bother you, because u want to show that u are together. u have nothing to hide. u want to treat her right.

the problem is, however, is that she is not able to communicate with You *why* and *what* her motives are. because u dont understand her, and she's not giving u satisfactory answers, THAT is the red flag. it's a feeling, when u can tell someone is hiding something, and that her words do not add up along with her actions. that is just ...weird. and the fact that u notice it, it bugs you, AND she can't alleviate your fears...that is a red flag.

=T....what u need to do is really sit down and Communicate w/ her. let her know that u want to be there for her, u care about her, want the best for her, and in order to do so u need to understand what is going on with her lying. because if she can lie to her parents, she can lie to you too. she needs to say and do what it takes to make you Feel comfortable and secure in your relationship.

for example: if i knew my mom hates boys and would think of me as "bad" if i had a bf at a young age, i would let You know, as my boyfriend, that altho i WISH i could tell her, i would really get in trouble, and she would ground me, and stop me from seeing you, and i don't want that. so can u please understand.

so by saying that, i am acknowledging that you are my bf. i am acknowledging that telling her would probably hurt our relationship, and since it is important to me, That is why i am not telling her. not because i am embarrassed of you.

see? so you would (hopefully) feel a little more understanding/trusting of me, because i showed u that i do care. but if she is not doing whatever u need to feel secure, u will always second guess her. =T good luck, and try to get to know her better. u guys are young, and need to learn ways to communicate, and even work on your own selves at this time. so be an understanding boyfriend, but remember that if u are not satisfying someone, they will feel insecure; same as for you, if they are not satisfying you, you will feel insecure. and that is not a healthy relationship.

Answer 5

You need to re-examine your g/f's motives & personality. You sound young so I'm gonna impart some wisdom on you... long ago when I first met who is now my EX, I discovered she just couldn't tell any1 the truth. It was little lies most times so I ignored the personality trait chalking it up to inconsequential. "She wouldn't do that to me", I told myself. However, as our lives evolved it became clear that this wasn't a small quirk, it was a full-blown psychosis and long-story short, it became our undoing. If she's lying now, she'll lie forever. You can't change people. Only they can change themselves. If she's unwilling to come around to your way of thinking (and you have the conviction of feeling you are in the right), cut your losses & move onto some1 who respects honesty. Otherwise, you're in for a world of madnnes, hurt, & disappointment. Good luck~

Answer 6

If you are talking about her calling you, then get over it, she just has old fashioned parents (like mine) that think guys should call girls, never the other way. Just say you called her. Jeeze, of all the things to obsess about, this shouldn't be at the top of your list. Especially since you get along well and her parents are ok with you two going out.

Answer 7

So what if she lies to her parents. It just means she doesn't want them to know about you. I only told my parents about girls I knew I wasn't going to be with for very long anymore. All the ones I liked, I kept secret. I probably wouldn't tell them about my future wife until the two of us had already planned the wedding. I never wanted my parents to have a chance to interfere and she probably doesn't want it either.

Answer 8

ok. i did the same thing i didnt tell my parents but i got over that . she should tell her parents . call her up and ask her to do something and when she ask her parents just listen to what she tells them . if she keeps lieing dump her but if you really love her stay together but remember its just a lie.

Answer 9

shes trying to hide you buddy....nobody deserves that, if her parents wont let her date people....and tahts the only way she can date people if is she lies about it, then hte relationship isnt worth it, its not even a relationship to startwith. your supposed to be open and truthful with eachother, and if its not going both ways, id say move on to something more exciting, and on to someone who will appreciate your presents without having to lie about it ....good luck

Answer 10

before anyone can answer this question you have to tell us what your GF is hiding. the truth is that if she is going to date you then she needs to be straight up with her folks but in that same aspect her parents don't need to know everything about you. if she is hiding something about you to them then obviously there is a reason. you need to find out what that reason is. there may be a possibility that what ever it is it may be worth hiding.

Answer 11

It appears there's something about your relationship she's afraid to tell her parents about...........Ask her why she's lieing to her parents....................if she can't - then dump her. You need to find someone, and you will, who will be proud of your relationship and not hide things from the family.