2006-08-24 05:37:57 · 8 answers · asked by sweet_cowgirl19 3 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
First of all, my heart goes out to you. My husband who is deceased now was 100% ptsd disabled from nam. He got out of nam in 69 and didn't try to get help until 93. It's a living hell.
He too believed that he didn't have a problem. Or it must be something I was doing wrong to cause the problems he had. It was like walking around on egg shells trying not to rock the boat.
One day I actually was able to get him to go to the vet center with me to a marriage counselor. After about 5 mins the counselor could sum up what the real problem was. They gave my husband a card and said if he wanted to speek to someone about what was going on with him to call that #. To me that was a God send. I thought finally someone else confirmed what I already knew now we would get somewhere. WRONG. refused again. still said everything was my fault. I had finally had enough told him I was taking my son and leaving him if he didn't get help.
I didn't want to leave him but you have to look at ptsd as a life and death situation. There are more guys and women who have commited suicide since they came home then there are names on the vietnam memorial. Either by actually killing themself, or dying in freak accidents, or criminals when they are homeless, Drug over does, shoot out with police. There are many ways to kill yourself.
As I was packing our stuff up to leave I refused to set and talk to him anymore. He knew I was serious. I heard him make the phone call. He was still convinced that it was me causing the problems so it was easier for him to get help knowing that they would find me the (guilty) party. Well to his surprise he spent 10 days in a v.a. hospital and that was a real eye opener. for him.
PTSD is not curable. You get out of the programs what you put into it. They have several medications that they will experiement with to see if they will help. None is a cure all. No magic pills no magic answers. If he decides to get help don't throw it in his face. Try to understand it's tough to have to bring all the stuff up to the surfacxe again that they have tried to forget. The only way to cope with what they are going through is for them to relive everything.
So since he refuses to get help all you can do is decide for yourself, is this the kind of life I am willing to live? Do I want myself and my kids walking on egg shells? You'll think is it really that bad? I can tell you for certain. It doesn't get better left untreated, it gets worse. Do you love him? If you do than do whatever it takes to make him get help.
There are yahoo groups that deal with ptsd. Perhaps you might join one and get support and information links that will arm you with the facts. It might help you to have someone to talk to. The v.a. focuses on the vet but not much on the family so you may feel left out. or even angry when they start dealing with him and you are standing there with the battle scars from trying to cope.
I wish you and your family all the best. I wish I could tell you everything will work out but until he gets help you don't have much hope. Hang tough If you truly love your husband you will fight tooth and nail to get him the help he needs.
God bless!
2006-08-24 06:37:25 · answer #1 · answered by Stand 4 somthing Please! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree with some of the other answers already given here-my husband was recently diognosed with PTSD, and it's a difficult thing to deal with! I would start with making an appointment with the chaplain-most posts have a Chapalin Family Life Center available for free counseling-or you can call Military One Source for help. They also offer free counseling and other services, but are not military affiliated-in case you are worried about getting the military involved also check out this website-www.ncptsd.va.gov for more answers on PTSD. If you need the number for Military One Source-contact me-I will pass it on to you! Even if you can't get him to go to counseling with you-it's always good to go for yourself, they may be able to help with this problem from your end! My heart goes out to you!! Hang in there!!
2006-08-24 07:53:56 · answer #2 · answered by lilbit1231 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on the relationship you and your spouse have...
if you can sit and talk with your spouse, explain to him/her how you feel and how these changes are effecting your life. Try not to place BLAME on the soldier, especially if they don't see it as a problem, that would probably make the soldier become defensive.
if you don't have open communication with your spouse, you can suggest or make appointments and it will probably go in one ear and out the other.
I strongly suggest that if you and your spouse are at all religious that you start with the chaplain. If neither of you are, I would suggest Behavioral Health for your peace of mind. However, you may have to go without him to begin with because he may not be comfortable with it.
The key to dealing with PTSD is patience and love! It is not something that can be resolved overnight. It is serious, but don't rush a solution to the problem because that could potentially make it a lot worse.
Best of luck! Y'all will be in my thoughts and prayers!
2006-08-24 05:54:55 · answer #3 · answered by Country Girl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Make him a doctor's appointment and go with him. It might be better for you to explain the symptoms for him and then maybe he'll decide to open up. I'm going through this with my brother right now who got back from Iraq about 10 months ago and that's what I ended up doing. Better yet, go to a V.A. Hospital and maybe he'll feel more comfortable talking to them about it. Best of luck to you and your family.
2006-08-24 05:45:00 · answer #4 · answered by yumyum 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the best thing to do is sit them down and show them how much things have changed since they returned home once they see they should seek help. i have dealt with alot of my friends with it since i have been a marine. also if it hasn't been long since they got home it will just take time to adjust. you just need to be understanding and loving which i am sure you are. if he is in the military still you can talk with his command or one of his peers and they will provide help.
2006-08-24 06:36:48 · answer #5 · answered by docta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go see the chaplain or something. Mental Health should help him out.
2006-08-24 05:43:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you explained specifically what he does and the reaction to it? If all else doesn't work tell him to go to therapy with you because you are unhappy. If he won't go for your happiness and peace of mind it's likely he won't go at all.
2006-08-24 05:44:03 · answer #7 · answered by sugarcarat 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
what is ptsd?
2006-08-24 05:43:31 · answer #8 · answered by oneblondepilgrim 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋