Can you tell me how I can invite an evangelic into my house, and make them run away swearing the lords name?

Question

I am really thinking of creating such an uncomfortable living environment for an evangelist that they will come inside, but eat themselves up inside trying to not to insult me for my choices.

I was naturally annoying as a child. The questions I asked... well let's say my sunday school teacher loved them.

That is "why" I would want to do this. To test their "faith". I am not in it to hurt them, I am in it for joy, and to alleviate people's fears.

I want people to "see the light" I can talk to ANY religion and have them speak with me. I am not powerful, nor well read, so some of the more structured religions have a way of telling me through a single scripture that they don't need to speak with me.

Answer 1

I once answered the door completely naked with a buddy of mine (we got hammered stoned and the Jehovah's Witnesses came knocking...) and our arms around each other - when I opened the door, you should have seeen the look on their faces! They turned to leave so quickly! But we wouldnt let them go so fast! I exclaimed (in my best "gay voice") "OH GOODIE! Jesus has come to save us! Pelase tell me every thing you know about HIm!" Man, they begged us to let them leave, tried to say they were at the wrong home, etc etc.

My buddy and I peed ourselves we laughed so hard afterwards...

Answer 2

Ask an evangelist over for dinner and for some advice (they can never turn that down). Now, decorate your house with images of Satan, Hitler, Ozzy Osbourne and Bill Clinton. Whenever something good happens during the evening, say: "Thank the good lord, Satan, for that." Get a practical effects guy to give you a possessed daughter, then you can calmly deliver the line to your homosexual partner: "Oh look, she's cursing God while her head is spinning around again, how cute." Oh yes, and this is the most important part: For dinner, slay a live goat on the table (in the name of Satan, of course) and give everyone a piece.

Answer 3

I don't know about you, but this is what I did and I haven't seen another on in almost 6 yrs........... I had 2 come to my door one evening after I had just gotten off from work. I answered the door and they began their speech and how they wanted to come in and share the bible with me and any questions I might have had. I told them word for word " No offence, I know you think your doing your calling, but the bible says that who shall not ever hear the word of Jesus or his name will atomatically enter into the gates of heaven, and I am sorry but you people are going to make sure that you make it to all 4 corners of the earth and we're all going to hell!!!!" I slammed the door and that was it, it was the last time I ever saw or heard from any evangelists. Good luck and Blessed be.

Answer 4

Clearly, you haven't met any evangelical Christians. They're more likely to preach to you then eat themselves inside over trying not to insult you.

That doesn't mean all like that. I do want to clear that up. Not all Evangelical Christians are like that, but the radical ones, the ones I imagine you are trying to annoy, are.

Answer 5

Your name says it all. Where is your sense at! God doesn't like Ugly; everyone must carry their own cross. Remember the finger You point, always has three pointing back.

Answer 6

make your living room into a domanatric style sex charmber only with seating and act like its totally normal have a wife/womanfirend/GF to dress up and serve tea and scones

Answer 7

Treat women with respect.

Answer 8

Why would you even want to do that?

Answer 9

jack-off with me while they're there?
Jesus!

Answer 10

why would you want to do that????