how do i help my 21 year old daughter with depression?

Question

shes 21 has a son of 18 months and is expecting again she told me today she dont want to be a mum anymore i dont know how to help her shes had depression before it runs in the family what can i do consellers dont help she cant have pills what else can she take please help im at my wits end

Answer 1

First ,I would say that she has every reason to be depressed. She's a young woman with a huge amount of responsibility that even older women with a supportive partner find hard to manage.
It's okay for her not to want to be a mum anymore - she's young and inexperienced and it sometimes feels too much for her. I would accept that she feels lousy at the moment - it's a natural response to having too much resposibility too young. Then i would suggest you sit down with her and make a list of all her problems big and small and figure out which of them you can do something about NOW, and which of them she needs outside help with. Sometimes if you knock some of the smaller problems off the list, the bigger ones get easier to deal with. Tell her what a great daughter she is and that you're with her no matter what and you love her and you're going to get through this together and you will get through it, believe me.

Answer 2

I am an RN Midwife and Paramedic with some twenty-five years experience dealing with clinical depression.
My wife suffered with PND after our first pregnancy in 1983.
I have four daughters aged between 23 and 12 years.
My second eldest daughter suffered from a mixed anxiety depressive disorder, after having lost her High School boyfriend to a genetic heart defect at the age of fifteen years. She is now 19 and is still frequently quite mealoncholly. However, the following are my recommendations for a drug free recovery.
1. Good nutrition, use vitamin and mineral suppliments only if absolutely necessary.
2. Healthy sleep patterns, go to bed early, use warm milk, turkey sandwich or extract of hopps to help get to sleep.
3. Rise early, do not over sleep (8 hours sleep maximum)
4. Cold showers in the morning clears the head and helps to get the blood pumping. No joke this is actually a recommended therapy for sufferers of CFS.
5. Healthy exercise (safe exercise) I reccomend floor exercises for pregnant women, a minimum of thirty minutes per day.
6. A two hour afternoon nap (sleep) The best time for a siesta seems to be around 2 O'clock in the arvo. If you can't get to sleep, that is okay, the idea is to destress as much as possible for that two hour period before having to go back into the kitchen to prepare the evening meal and deal with the wants and needs of the rest of the family.
This regeim is difficult for any mother to achieve, but it is necessary for a drug free recovery from depression.
With the support of extended family it is quite achieveable.

Answer 3

This is not going to be easy at all. I had depression before I had my son and then when I did have him, I got post partum depression. I went through Heck and back. I did have to go on anti-depressants. They did help for a few months. She needs to go to therapy and the doc and see what they can help her with. www.catholiccharitiesusa.org is a good place to start. I went there, even tho' I 'm not catholic. They only charged me $5 per session and I had thee best therapist ever. Totally helped me get my life straight. Being a young mother isn't easy.Having more than one is even harder. She needs people around her that will let her have a nap when she gets overly grumpy or tired. she needs proper nutrition. Compassion. Real good support. Crying is normal. Good to get it out. This too shall pass. Take care. It will get better. Email me is you or she wishes to just chat.

Answer 4

Keep her motivated. Even a simple thing like having a nice dinner with her. Take her to the mall, park anything to keep her busy. Offer to take car of her son while she does something she likes. I would assume her saying she doesn't want to be a mother any longer means she probably has anxiety also. To help with the anxiety tell her to remember it always pases. If the baby is screaming, it will pass, an arguement will pass. Do a search for autogenics to have her practice relaxatin techniques.

Answer 5

I would get her to speak to her Health Visitor, they can offer help and advice and be there when she needs them, along the lines of counselling, but a more personnel approach, i had a brilliant health visitor who was a god send. Or try a mother and baby group, once she gets chatting to other mums (while the kids play) you soon pick up on some helpful tips of advice, you also get to know your not on your own. It worked for me and my depression was bad to point i started self harming as i was also going through a break up with my daughters dad. Hope this helps.

Answer 6

Please take her to her doctor. You can get help online through various websites if she wont go. (Pathways) There are also many self help books which may be of interest. Firstly you daughter has to know and understand what depression is and why we get it. At our local Doctors office 1 in 5 patients have depression - It is not taboo - she must be assured she is not ab normal. Even though she is pregnant, she can be prescribed anti depressants which will help her and not harm her baby.

Answer 7

Depression can often be rooted in fear. It sounds like your daughter doesn't know how she will handle 2 youngsters!! Buy her the book 'Feel the Fear... and do it anyway' It will help her immensley!
Being a mother is a blessing there are so many women out there that can't be, remind your daughter of this.

Answer 8

hi. look at some of my previous questions.
i know depression....
i take valerian root from holland and barret 450mg 1 a day in the morning, but im not sure about taking it whilst pregnant

you need to surround this girl with friends, yoou need to ful fill her basic needs as best you can..

Basic needs warmth, food drink, light, company
without these depression only gets worse

dont let her sit in a dark room all alone, hungry and cold......

if you need to talk about it, email, or msg me [e-mail] (anti spam)
i will do my best to help -
helping makes me feel less depressed

Answer 9

If it's depression and she's pregant, either Lexapro or Paxil. They only contain the proper seratoni levels for her to keep her head on straight sort a speak, no pun intended. Take her to your local mental health facility and talk to one of their people. They're more likely to help her if she's suicidal. Hopefully she's won't be.

Answer 10

hi i am 24 and suffered with depression since i was 17 all i can advice if you talk to her as there is always a somthing that triggers it off with me it was because when i was 15 i was abused by my boss at work and its carried with me for years, i never spoke to nobody and it made the matter worse, just be there for her and listen when she wants to talk