Why do families put the elderly in residential homes?

Question

When we have elderly relatives, why do we make the decision to put them in a home and forget about them?

Answer 1

who says you forget about them. if they need constant care, what are you going to do? quit your job? You still have to pay your own bills. Old people do stupid things: pre-pay burial plots, not saving enough money. It's disrespectful to live your entire life and when you get old look at your children and say "ok, now take care of me". I know that you love them and all of that but they should have been working their entire lives to make their own arrangements.

Answer 2

My grandmother is in one of these homes and there were many reasons. Residential homes, in some cases, can provide better care for the elderly. Sometimes our older relatives cannot keep up a home anymore and choose to live in residential homes because they still have the freedom and Independence they had before without all of the work involved in being a home owner. I also think that there is companionship in residential homes that they wouldn't necessarily have living on their own, especially after a spouse passes away. We still visit her weekly, call, send letters, we would never leave her there and just forget about her.

Answer 3

Because it can turn into a 24/7 job, especially if they get dementia.
How would you manage to hold down a job if you were looking after an elderly relative that was wandering outside at 4am, turning the cooker on in the middle of the night and peeing all over your furniture every day?
Now can you see why some old people have to be put into homes?

Answer 4

It would be a hard decision to make, i would not have put my mum in a old age home, but there are some people that really need full time care, doctor and nurses care, sometimes its for there own safety too, but i do agree with you, i too know of some people that just forget about there elderly relatives, and no one goes and visits them, that is so sad.

Answer 5

To put them in a home sometimes is a decision taken by
the elderly person themselves. More often than not, it is
a wise decision since most elderly need special care which
usually concerns meals, hygiene, medical care, special beds
and the company within their own age bracket. In extreme
cases such as advanced Alzheimer‘s disease and Dementia
it is cruel not to put them into a home. It depends mainly on
the family resources and capacity of the elderly and his/her
coming to a joint decision. However, other than the two
ailments mentioned above there is the problem of a slow
terminal disease which will need 24 hr. nursing. Despite
being in a home, if the elderly is close to a relative‘s home,
the family can visit their loved ones daily. I should mention
that there are cases in which the family will put relatives into a
home to rid themselves of minor problems, and they just do
not care for those who, previously, cared for them. To me,
this is a sin that will haunt the unwilling for more than their
lifetime.

Answer 6

There are different reasons for different families. I think that the only reason to put anyone in a home is if the family simply cannot care for the person. If the person is bed bound and needs special medical attention, it's hard on families and impossible to care for the patient correctly. I'm a retired nurse and there is no way I could take care of a bed bound patient alone. These elderly patients have children, like me, who are middle aged, like myself, and have their own health issues. However, if an elderly person is ambulatory, and can basically walk and toilet themselves, there is no reason for a nursing home unless they wander off without constant care. I've seen it go all different ways. There is always a reason and no one solution the problem.

Answer 7

Because most elderly in homes can't care for themselves and need constant attention and most people can't afford to stop working to stay home and care for someone.
You can't leave someone home alone that can't care for themselves that would be like leaving a 2 year old home alone for 8 hours would a normal person do this? No you wouldn't leave a 2 yr old home alone so why would you leave a elderly person home alone?
Also you can do home care and have someone come into the home to help care for the person but it is very costly my aunt does this and she makes a lot of money.
My mom worked a CNA in nursing home for 10 years. I used to go in and visit with some of the people and they are very senile and call you by a different name at times thinking that you are someone different and it is very difficult they even call their kids by different names. Imagine caring for your mother all the time and she called you by a different name thinking that you was someone else other then her child. Some people can't handle to be around that day in and day out none the less 24 hours a day.

Answer 8

Sometimes it is better for both sides. But not all people forget their relatives. Some just can't cope with the extra work and emotional stress it puts on them.It is a hard thing to do, but can benefit the relative in lots of ways, around the clock care, company etc, and the joy of seeing their families enjoying their lives.

Answer 9

There are many reasons why people do this, I personally don't like the idea.

I have recently read, how in many eastern countries, families stick together, through all sort of adversities and yet continue to provide care for their elderly relatives themselves.

The thought of putting an elderly relative into care is alien in many societies.

Answer 10

Well, theres a lot of different reasons that families do this (i'm not talking about "forgetting them", but just the putting them into homes).

Some families don't have the room in their homes to put up grandma/grandpa.

Alot of families don't have the time to check on them 24/7, in case they do something like turn on the stove and then forget and walk away.

We also may not have the energy to devote to serious issues like: alzheimers, etc... these are tiring/draining mentally, emotionally and physically on the family.
We also like our space and are selfish.

Some of us live in another part of the states or world, where we can't just move if our grandparents need us to.

I agree with you in the question. I think we should be more like Asia where grandparents automatically become part of the family unit and are treated with the utmost respect and are the patriarch of the family unit. America is on a different page when it comes to this...

Answer 11

I don't think any1 sez I'M GOING TO FORGET ABOUT GRANDMA, but life has a way of escalating into busy-ness and priorites get re-arranged, & not always for the best. Retirement homes are sometimes an acceptable solution when there just isn't any1 around to see to the many needs the elderly require. For example, if Grammy can't get in & out of the tub like she used to, she might hurt herself badly in trying to do something her mind tells her she oughta be able to do but her body physically can't anymore. It's gotta be incredibly frustrating to have your mental faculties about you while your body is failing. Hope that helps ease your concern.
Be well~