My parents have treated me badly for years should I still try to be in their lives simply because they are my?

Question

parents?

I am 26 the kicked me out when I was 22. I had no $, no place to live. When I came the next day to get the rest of my things my stuff was packed in the driveway. I started living with my boyfriend as a result and a few years later we bought a house, in April we eloped. When my parents found out they flipped and don't want to talk to me anymore. We had had a rocky relationship but I feel that their actions show they do not love me. What do you all think.

Answer 1

I had this very thing going on with me. Basically I never got a long with my parents my whole life. They always teased me just like the people in school and put me down.

I however turned out to be a great person. It took me a long time say 25 years to figure this out.

I thought my relationship would change when I had my daughter. However, having her seemed to make my relationship worse. I now can't imagine doing the things to my daughter that my parents did to me. It is beyond my imagination.

I didn't totally cut off my relationship with my parents until last Christmas. Prior to that, my relationship was one of stress with them. Since ending my relationship with them, my life has been equally good, but there is no stress of living up to these unreal expectations that my parents have for me. I can go visit my grandparents or extended family and feel peaceful. There is no more negativity. Cutting my parents particularly my mother out of my life was the best decision I have made.....however it was a hard one.

I did think about what if she dies or whatever, will I feel bad that I don't have this relationship. Well, the answer is a BIG CAPITAL SCREAMING FROM THE EDGE OF WHEREEVER "NO"... I am fine with her death. She has treated me terrible all these years. I honestly don't think I will shed a tear.

So, my answer is this is a decision you have to make and that you have to live with. Do what you feel in your heart...don't go by what people say here on Yahoo Answers, only follow your own heart and your own thoughts.

Answer 2

At some point, you will have to make that decision, and unfortunately it is a decision that cannot be made by anyone but you. Perhaps the best thing to do is to start by telling your parents how you feel. Explain that while you do love them, you love yourself and respect yourself enough to know that the way they have treated you is less than you deserve. Let them decide where they wish to go from there....you can continue to call every so often to maintain a relationship, but the constant trying on your behalf will drag you down. Find happiness and let them decide if they want to be a part of it.

Answer 3

Dear lady, tough question, how do you hate someone you love? I will share this with you and maybe it will help. My father and his mother did not get along they had a I hate you, you hate me relationship. From the time he was 20 till the time she was 63 they hardly ever spoke till the day she started dying from cancer. On her death bed as she lay holding his hand she said I am sorry. He never got to say it back she slipped away before he could do so.
Do you want that to be you is the question. To be angry with them all your life till they need you most and you are holding hands wishing you could take it all back. All the missed moments, maybe even a missed wedding, visits with the kids that you may someday have... does your hate extend that far to deny them that which is their right to someday have cause you are their daughter?
Ask yourself if that is fair then think about are they being mean to harm you or ruin your life, or maybe its just being protective cause they love you and do not wish to see you get hurt.

Answer 4

Yes, you should try even if on a limited basis. They might feel the same way about you, dear. Some children give their parents hell on earth. Anyway, love them as they are since chances are none of you will change. And show them respect for the sake of them being your parents. That way, if either one of them dies while you're around, you can always say you have no regrets. God Bless.

Answer 5

I don't know in what way they treated you badly. Was it because they didn't give in to your every wants? Did they feed you and clothed you? Did they love you in other ways other than buying you things, but you think they treated you badly by not doing so? Did they physically abuse you....denied you of your basic needs such as eating, sleeping, drinking? Did they try to protect you from friends who were bad influence to you?
Until you figure out what the abuse was....and if it truly was abuse....don't be in their lives. If their fault was in being overly protective...then know it was out of love and concern for you, ...but if they beat you and abused you by belittling you on a daily basis....then stay away from them for the rest of their lives. If you survived being treated so meanly, then they didn't do a good job as parents and therefore don't deserve you.

Answer 6

Maturity dictates that we eventually are able to run our own lives and make our choices without the influence of family or parents.

No matter what, parents will always be parents. Some are bad, others are just plain ignorant of what they have done to their children.

I would move ahead with your own life, in the best way you choose to. Don't let parents influence you at all. Be respectable and listen, but don't listen. Listen to yourself now. You are now in control of your own life.

Answer 7

No -- some people are better off without their parents. You're an adult now and I went through the same thing - it hurts like he*ll sometimes but being with them just wasn't worth the pain and frustration.

Answer 8

I AM SORRY THAT YOU ARE TREATED LIKE THAT,

when i was little, i was treated badly, and i wanted to get away, yet i wanted to be loved and forgive them, i did some things that made no sense, i tried harder to please them.. and it was like a merrygo round, emotionally i was not stable, no self esteem etc,

yet i still wanted my mom to love me, and to please her.

I believe you should forgive them.. but do not let them hurt you as in the past.

try to obe strong, and you really need God, to guide you.. Maybe a good church and good friends, and a counselor to help you sort out some things,

I dont think you have to overdo it, but you can still be in their lives, and draw the line..
be assertive, not aggressive, be kind..
somehow, you will grow spiritually, if you can let go of anger and resentment,, and just love them as much as you can,, you do not have to love them back,,more than you are able to,
and do not expect more from them than they are capable of, and just love lthem and respect them,for giving you the gift of life, now it is your life, so do what is best for you. this will be good enough..

good luck

Answer 9

Well it depend on what you are calling badly. and how old you are. cause some teenagers just think there parents treat them bad cause they dint like there rules..explain a little..And they will alwayss be your parents no matter what..and when no one else is there your parents are alway there no matter what you have done...Love your p[arents and show them respect..

Answer 10

Well, stay in contact, leave an email address and a phone number. After 18 you can make your own desisions, and if that involves moving out, so be it. I would move out.