What to do with a liar?

Question

What should I do? It drives me crazy because my bf keeps on lying to me about little things, the most obvious things, and thinks i'm really stupid. I broke up with him last night because of this and now he is talking about how empty he is without me and the baby i'm having and he's just self-pitying a lot right now. It's his fault though because he just tells me little white lies a lot and i'm beginning to think that he has a problem. I don't understand him or what to do because everytime this happens and I try to leave he tries to make me stay and sweet talk me but I can't take it anymore! I want things to work out but i'm beginning to give up on his BS. He lies about things that are obvious to me and he is so sure about it. I think he like convinces himself that the lie is the truth. Is that pathological lying? it really stresses me out and I told him it's not even worth arguing over because I know what the truth is and that's it! What is going on with this guy? What do I do?

Answer 1

It is too bad that you have a baby together, otherwise I would say to dump him. Now, you must punish him to get him to stop, grow up and have some integrity.

Answer 2

It sounds like his lying is a habit, a very deep-seated one at that, maybe even pathological. I'm assuming that he lies without blinking an eye, to him there is probably nothing wrong with lying, it has become second-nature.

I think ( my personal opinion only) that he lies a lot and has probably done so for a long time because he doesn't like the truth. He probably does not like reality and therefore he chooses to make up his own "reality".

You should make him understand that if he keeps telling you these little and pointless lies he will lose all credibility, i.e. you will never believe him anymore, nor will anyone else.

If,( as I think) the problem lies very deep with him I suggest you get him professional help, they might be able to get to the root of the problem.

Answer 3

I cannot really comment on WHY he does this. But, I suggest that you keep that door closed. I know things might be more difficult raising the child by yourself, but if you cannot trust what he says, your life is not going to be easy having him around. You could give him an ultimatum. No more lies if you want to be with me, none, for any reason at all, or there's the door, buddy. The next lie and you are out.

I had a husband that told little white lies, about obvious things as well, and once he got away with those, the lies got bigger.

Answer 4

I have been with a man that is the exact same way for 7yrs. Get out while you can it only gets worse. I stay in my relationship for reasons I am not willing to share on a public forum. We had a child together and things only got worse. I know what you mean about white lies. My guy lies about things that mean absolutely nothing. It is not as if he is always lieing to keep the relationship. He would lie about what color his underwear were for no reason at all. I have tried to mention counseling for his problem but he doesn't realize that he has one. It is as if he thinks he is telling the truth and no matter what proof I have to show him otherwise he doesn't get it. If you need to talk you can email me. I would be willing to share some of my experiences with you that I will not share here. Trust me this relationship is very unhealthy and if you can get out now .......DO IT! I know I wish I would have.

Answer 5

Dangerous individual. I am sorry to learn that you are pregnant for him. This is not a stable individual with whom to raise a child. Not having a relationship with him might be the best thing you can do for all involved; You him and the baby. Lying for it's own sake is a dangerous problem and as he doesn't seem (by your description) apologetic for it or willing to change, might suggest that he is sociopath-especially followed with his emptiness w/o you. What support systems do you have that can help you to safely and responsibly raise your child? You need to consider that child's needs and safeties first and foremost now and surround yourself with people interested in helping you and your child live a good healthy life so you can be a great mom and get away from him.

Answer 6

Alot of guys think their own life is boring, or no one will want to listent to them so they lie about the most idiodic stuff. I've done it before and turned around like why did I lie about that I didn't need to. He prolly doens't feel like his true self or true life isn't that great so to impress or baost he lies. He can stop but it has to be one lie at a time, like smoking cigarrettes you take it one day at a time. He can get through it. I do beleive the part about him feeling empty, ask him if he really wants to stop lying and then let him know that your going to call him on it when it happens again. It's rude, insulting, disrespectful and most importantly do you want our child to grow up to be a liar like you are right now. THat should wake him up. Most guys that do this just want to feel important, some lie to hide other things but it sounds like he wants you to see him as someone cooler than he man think he is.

Answer 7

I went through the exact same problem with my now ex-boyfriend. He is a pathological liar. He did the same things to me. Your life mirrors mine when I was with him. He was also abusive. But he did not think so. Abuse to him meant physical. I explained to him that abuse is also mental, emotional, verbal. He did not understand that. After about 4 years of this, I finally said that's it. We have been split up now for 4 years. We also share a daughter. She's 4 yrs old now. It really helps that he's in his country so I don't have to see his face all the time. So, don't be afraid to leave him and be on your own. You need to focus on your baby. Take care of yourself and your unborn child. Be strong. You'll be o.k. Good luck!

Answer 8

Honey, please believe me when I tell you, This guy is a manipulative jackass. You KNOW what to do!! Don't be scared to be without him. You and your baby will have a happy life without this stress!! Why be with a guy that you CAN NOT TRUST??? He is playing you....he knows that some sweet talk about "loving you" and wanting the baby, and the famous"I'll change!" will put you right back where he wants you. TOTAL BULLSHIT! he just wants to keep you around for when he needs you. Dump him girl!!! YOU deserve MUCH better!! and so does your child. Good Luck!! And STAY STRONG!!! you'll be glad you did.

Answer 9

When a person tells a lie, and it is automatic , even when not necessary it is a guy you will be better off without.

Let me tell you, the road to hell, paaved with sweeettalkers
and you said he lies little white lies,
well THEY ARE NOT LITTLE, IT IS UGLY, WIERD, AND HE IS NOT WHO HE SAYS HE IS,,
THAT kind of behavior, is not for you to study, and tolerate, it is better, you realize it, then get the farthest away from him,, nothing good can happen, to you with this kind of person, especially if you are in love..

WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOOK FORWARD TO,=
HELL, and you will doubt yourself,and feel conflused, and insulted,, please think about it,, and dont waste your wonderful self and heart on a deceitful toad, that is it..

good luck

Answer 10

The guy is a sociopath! If you want your baby to learn to lie, stay with him. Lying is a learned behavior. If he lies to you about stupid things, you can be sure he is lying about big stuff too. Honesty is the most important thing in a relationship.. runn for the hills.......

Answer 11

if he lies to you about little things no telling what he will lie to you about in the end
sit down and talk with him
ask him why he lies about thing that you know is bull
and if he still doenst get it that you are tired of it
dump him

dont worry about it
one day you will find a person who will love you for who you are and not treat you like crap
and help you take care of that baby of yours

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