I do the planning for our wedding, but wont get involved he says its a women thing, and that it gives him a head ache, which also gives me one but I still do it. How do I get him involved to where I know what he wants to see at the wedding? Or do I just do the planning myself and just let him put the money out?
2006-08-24 04:41:05 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Honey, you are just going to look so handsome in your pink tux. I can't wait to see you in it. Or, sweetiepie, when we have the reception you don't mind sitting by my Aunt Bertha do you, you know the one that belchs like a pig, and just loves to kiss you...
You can't believe what I found for us, but of course that's going to make our budget a little over the top, so open up the wallet.
Get the idea! He needs to be involved because it is his wedding day too. Some guys just don't care they want you to be happy, and you can't be happy because you are afaird to disappoint him. S0, talk to him, tell him with a glass of water and 2 aspirins that you need him to help, because this bothers you so much. You really need his imput to make you happy.
It's worth a try, if he still refuses to help, give him a list of choices and go from there. Tell him since he was dead set against his helping, then he best not complain about a damn thing.
I am sorry, honey, some guys just think it's a cermoney, mine did, but now my son-in-law was all up for everything, He was ordering catalogs, looking and suggesting things. I was so amazed. I hope the tux, or the wallet thing helps.
Best and happiest of wedding days to you both!
2006-08-24 06:47:32 · answer #1 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a hint--he wants you to scale back. You have an idea of what's necessary or expected for your wedding that is beyond what either of you actually want (hence the headaches). Read your question again--planning your wedding is causing problems in your relationship. So which one is more important?
Ask him if he thinks this isn't all just a little much, and if maybe you should have a small, intimate wedding. I bet I know what the answer will be.
2006-08-24 20:36:37 · answer #2 · answered by smurfette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your man doesn't want to get involved then he may not be interested in all of the details. Just let him know what you have picked out or decided on and ask if there is anything he would like to change. My husband hated all of the detailed things. He picked out the tux and the limo. Those were more of the mans job. In the end he loved everything about the wedding because he said it made me happy.
2006-08-24 06:24:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have to pick your battles..... Like if you think he's going to help you with the seating chart, your nuts :) But you could get him involved with other things like the cake testing and the more fun type of planning. The thing is too... when you ask him to help you might not like what he wants.... if you want a traditionally girly girl cake... he might want something different and more modern. Guys for the most part don't care.... but maybe he can help you with the meal choice, liquard list and cake testing.... things he might actually enjoy... but leave the favors, seating arrangements and florist to just yourself. Also I am finding out.. some of the stuff is just easier to do on your own... My FI has tried to suggest doing some really tacky stuff like giving all the groomsmen and bridemaids just cards that explain we are trying to keep the budget low instead of giving them gifts!! LOL- so I have been fighting with him for weeks you can't do that and plus we are having a fancy wedding.
So good luck, and don't forget- ask your Mom and your bridemaids to help you. Women love weddings!
2006-08-24 05:15:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry Girl!! Guys have no use for the planning of a wedding they had rather go to the justice of the peace!! The wedding is for the Bride,her Mother, Her Grandmother! Yes I'm a guy and Ive been married for 10 years! I adore my wife and I adored her then! This is the brides day ! PERIOD! Guys Dont care and it is best as we are TAUGHT by the respected men in our LIFE to stay out of it!! Take the $$$$ Get what you can AFFORD! Have A good time and don't hold it against him!!!
2006-08-24 07:28:20 · answer #5 · answered by larry b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The planning will only get more complicated the more he is involved. Just give him one or two things to worry about like the limmo, or the church. Something simple for him. If you both don't want to plan your wedding then get a wedding planner. Typically men do not do that much for the wedding.
2006-08-24 06:07:09 · answer #6 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh hon, I feel ya, I thought my fiance would be different too. But alas, I was mistaken. He thought he wanted to be involved, but when it came right down to it, he did not. What we've compromised on (since I truly do want his opinion), is when I am ready to make a decision on something I think he should be involved in I give him 2-3 options that I really like. We discuss them and then we go with that. It's a good way to involve him without overwhelming him and that way he won't be too surprised at the wedding. Good luck!
2006-08-24 05:35:22 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't want to be involved, I wouldn't pressure him to be. If you really want him to help make some decisions, just tell him how important it is to you that he has some say in some of the decisions. Tell him you want it to be a wedding for you both, rather than just for you.
My fiance has been helpful at telling me what he wants and what he doesn't want in our wedding. There are times when I can tell that he doesn't want to talk about it, and that's when I back off.
If your fiance doesn't want to have anything to do with planning then that is just something you are going to have to accept. You don't want him getting aggravated at you at this time in your lives together. Weddings shouldn't turn in to something stressful. Try to let him know how you feel and try to understand how he feels about it.
Hey, I just noticed that our avatars look like twins! Haha. :) Good luck with your wedding planning.
2006-08-24 10:36:22 · answer #8 · answered by ☼ lovethesun11 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there anything that needs to be taken care of that he has a special interest in (outside of the wedding)?
If he likes music, can you maybe ask him to help find a band or a DJ?
Does he like to cook? Ask him to help find a caterer and/or a baker (that's what I did - I'm useless in the kitchen, and my fiance' has more picky tastes than I do, so I asked him to handle the food end of things so I didn't have to worry about it being "my fault" if the food wasn't what he wanted).
If he's still apathetic about it, tell him that you'll just plan what you want, and if he complains later, remind him that you asked for his help repeatedly and he declined.
2006-08-24 07:00:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he doesn't want to be involved, don't push the issue too much or it can cause fights that you don't need & will just add to your stress. my hubby didn't want to be involved either, so i only gave him 3 jobs: pick out his tux on time, pick the dj, & help plan the menu (he's a great chef).
when i did try to get his opinion on other things like flowers, colors, where to have the wedding, invitations, etc. he always answered the same way, "whatever you like is ok with me." it frustrated me but i realized i wasn't going to get him involved beyond his 3 tasks, so i did the rest myself. i think it was probably easier without him anyway.
2006-08-24 06:24:59 · answer #10 · answered by ms v 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋