My boyfriend, is helping his ex...?
My boyfriend just got kicked out of his parents house, he is 22 and was moving into his friends house, same day his Ex's mom called and told him that she had been in an accident. Now he is sleeping and "living" at his Ex's moms house taking care of her. He says that he has no feeling for her in a personal I love you way. I believe him. But how am I supposed to deal with it? He gets so mean about it, and how I am so emotional.
I need advice on how to stay calm when he does this kind of stuff. How can I make myself not overreact to this stuff?
BTW: i've tried breathing excersises and a theripst. Those thing don't work for me
2006-08-24 04:38:59 · 13 answers · asked by keep your head up 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I need help in not over reacting to anything- not just overreacting to this situation.
~ he only gets mean when I overreact
2006-08-24 04:45:39 · update #1
sounds like you need anger therapy. Helping somebody that was important in his life is good KARMA
2006-08-24 04:47:57 · answer #1 · answered by Tequila Gypsy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion is that he is full of s**t. If he is getting mean about it then he is being unfair to you. Forget him and move on. There is no reason for his moving in....helping yes in a minor way now and then but her mother is there. No way should take it. The meanness is the clue.
There is no way you could overreact. Two questions for yourself.
1. Does he spend enough time with you?
2. Does he understand your position?
If either answer is no then leave the bum.
2006-08-24 12:03:45 · answer #2 · answered by FrogDog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're right to worry about the situation, situation like this is bond to turn south without question.
People develop feelings for each other when they are taking care of other or being taken care. It is only natural to develop feelings for others when the other person show such compassion when they are in need.
That's why it is wise to have suggest same gender friend to take care of the sick one to avoid complication, they they are almost guarantee to happen.
If he insist that he must do this, then there is nothing you can do but to prepare youself to accept the possibility that they will develop feelings for each other.
One of the way to compromise is that you'll be there when he's taking care of her, that is to remind him he is together with you. But since he's living there in their house, there really isn't anything that you can do to help the situation.
No breathin exercise or therapy will help you to cope with it, the only thing you can do is to accept it and start to think about if this relationship is worth continuing with it happen.
Relationship between two people is full of compromise and understanding, if he insist to do this without comforting you or taken it into account it might hurt your feeling and taxing your relationship with him; then you need to understand that he isn't mature enough to be in a relationship in the first place.
To help a friend in need is the right thing to do, but he must do so without crossing the line and make sure you're fine with it. Living in her house is not gonna help it at all...
2006-08-24 11:52:01 · answer #3 · answered by thsiung 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sounds to me that your Bf's Ex's Mom's accident was a very happy co incidence for him..... so that way he is living off the poor woman with not one ounce of guilt.
Give him a deadline to stop being a parasite if not you take this as a good warnin and RUN from this guy!!!! Or else no YOGa can save u
2006-08-24 11:45:31 · answer #4 · answered by STRAIGHT_ANSWERS 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh hell no! You don't need a damn therapist to tell you how you should feel about this. If your relationship means so little to him, then you need to let that go. Living there? No, no, no, no. She's got a mom to take care of her and I'm sure there's somebody to call besides your boyfriend. I understand his living situation but that's what JOBS are for. He's old enough to support his damn self and there's no excuse for his blatant disregard and disrespect for you. No, honey let that go.
2006-08-24 11:46:35 · answer #5 · answered by lovelee1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just get over it or you'll end up losing him. But on the other hand, i would be pissed if he was not sensitive to my feelings. Give him a time table. I mean the girl has a mom..Let the mom and the rest of the family take care of her. If he is not sensitive to your feelings, then maybe its time to move on:( You deserve better.
2006-08-24 11:42:36 · answer #6 · answered by wittlewabbit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why the hell would the mother call her daughter ex bf,I mean they are over,time for them both to move on,it the mother job to take care of her daughter not your bf.You could try taking walks or take long hot bath's
2006-08-24 11:47:51 · answer #7 · answered by Nails 4 breakfast,tacks 4 snacks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you believe him because his mom pitched in on the lie. Sh!t, I couldn't have thought of a better way to sleep with my ex than that. Accident and all. His mom likes her way more than she likes you baby.
He's probably taking care of her every morning and every night!!!
2006-08-24 11:47:04 · answer #8 · answered by bunbury 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like someone needs to get there priorities in order. He can be concern but what he is doing sounds like over kill. I'd leave him alone until he is through playing good samartian.
2006-08-24 11:46:35 · answer #9 · answered by Sasha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you have a very caring man in your life girl...remember.. it could have been you in the accident... count your blessings...
2006-08-24 11:41:41 · answer #10 · answered by SERENDIPITY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋