Am I in love or does it exist?

Question

I answered a question about love being real or an illusion that came from the bible. Since the asker felt that you couldn’t prove love exists.
My answer was that Love is real. It is real chemical and physical attraction that bonds us.
That Fidelity and monogamy were illusions that came from the Bible.
She gave me best answer to put me up as the poster child for hopeless people who have lost their way.
I quote “People like her are the one's I'm talking about. The bible helps people who are hopeless. People who have lost their way. Once religion is destroyed, suicide rates will increase along with insanity. Tell me I'm wrong, and I'll continue to be right”

So as I set my path leaving suicide and insanity in my wake, I wonder:

Does love exist?
Are fidelity and monogamy illusions?
Should I tell her she’s wrong or should she continue to be right?

If you would like to see the question in its entirety:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Al1XLApzsu9E_evoSjcAaZDsy6IX?qid=20060822225113AAJOrcz

Answer 1

Love exists.
Fidelity exists.
Monogamy persists.
Don't put your hand in a dogfight.

Answer 2

Fidelity and monogamy are overrated. Personally, in my past experiences I have found that sometimes in a stale relationship, a little infidelity can be just what you need to go "Ok, why did I just do that... that wasn't all that great" and then realize you WERE happy where you were, you just couldn't tell. Sure the other person would be hurt if they found out, but when things turn for the better in the relationship after that happens, how can anyone say it was wrong?

Now, am I promoting infidelity? Not at all! If things are great with the person you are with, there is no reason to look elsewhere.

Love does exist, but it takes time and patience and you can be in love and have someone on the side. It's all sex at that point, not love. People always seem to make sex part of love. Love is not sex and sex is not love. Sex is Sex. Just because you love someone does not mean you can't have casual sex with a different person. It's kind of like this: You answer questions about R&S all day long, and you love this section because of the answerers and questions you read... but occasionally you'll still answer a question from a different group because you enjoy that still and you'll realize that other groups just aren't the same which will make you want to come back to this section all the more!
Okay, people hate me at this point..... but I will continue...

Fidelity and monogamy are illusions yes. They are outdated and should be disposed of.

And even if you tell her she's wrong, she'll tell claim to be right. Right now, she's of the mind that no matter what you say she is right. She's fanatical. Might as well give up now.

Answer 3

I am just curious Cookie, you are obviously intelligent and deeply right brained, and seem attractive as well. I suspect your IQ is reaching 150+ but you while away on the internet, disavowing God, perpetrating word games and rewarding those who stroke you...at least verbally.

If you don't have time to get out and socialize with real people why do you spend so much time baiting us all about a concept which you claim not to embrace?

I personally don't care if you believe in God or not or prefer it be proven before you believe, but
this incessant stroll around the issue is as fruitless as your defense or attack of omnipotence existence.

It would appear that you could certainly find some subject matter more defensible or less arbitrary to discuss at least once in a while.

If you would prefer to not discuss the angel count on the pinhead that is fine but why must every encounter be about your superior atheistic mood?

I only offer all this cause I want to love you...




more!

Answer 4

I agree that love does exist, but I'm not sure that fidelity and monogamy are illusions. I agree that they're restrictions that shouldn't be there, but really....if you're in love...isn't that person the only one you want to be with? Or maybe I'm deluded? Entirely possible, since I'm apparently also on the path of inevitable suicide & insanity (LOL!!) How nice that you get to be a poster child! (I think that was very rude of her, by the way) So, she can be right in her own little world, it doesn't matter, most of us don't live in that world anyhow =) In my own little world, she's wrong! (and maybe a little psycho too)

Answer 5

The chemical responses of "love" have been measured and studied for sure. Is this love or is it simply our natural instincts for procreation kicking into gear? Is it not also instinctual for us to protect and raise our offspring?

I think that we fool ourselves and rationalize our natural intentions of procreation because of our cultural mores'. This leads to a lot of confusion. Why do we have a 50% divorce rate and a myriad of family dysfunctions and breakdowns? Many people blame the symptoms rather than accept that there are deeper forces at work.

It has been shown that humans seem to thrive better when they have companionship even if that companion is a pet. So is this love or an illusion?

Having been married for 28 years, has taught me that love is something that has to be nurtured and grown. It's much bigger than the sparks of initial attraction and is very fulfilling. We could make poorer choices as to what illusions to follow.

I don't know of right or wrong. I only can be sure of what has worked for me. Being stuck with having to follow strictly one philosophy or dogma might lead me to "a path of insanity".

Answer 6

What difference does it make what she thinks, or anyone for that matter. We hold to some truths that we see as permanent, unmistakeable as solid dead-on fact, and others see truth and right and wrong as a fluid, changeable, subjective thing... We cannot change what some people think and we cannot control how anyone interprets anything that we say, or even if they will understand something when it is in black and white, right in front of them. That is human nature...

One thing that people vary most noticeably on, and you can name your source or fix your blame at your leisure, is their education. To me it comes down to intellectual curiosity, and the desire to know and understand the world that we live in. It is easy to dismiss Christians or people who are devout in their faith as stupid or shallow or robotic or whatever works for you. The reason that it works is that some of the people of faith fit that bill - some people of faith are that way - proud, stubborn, intolerant, irrational, hypocritical (stop me any time here...) But so are people of every faith, philosophy, intellectual bent, whatever...

People are the same, so I don't worry about whether someone agrees with me or not, or what way they choose to disagree with me...

Finally, to your point - does love exist? Yes, but I am not sure that it does, or that everyone is destined to meet in the terms that they most desire. The idea of a soulmate, or someone who will mesh with us or complement us in every way - that concept may exist, but I am not sure that everyone finds their best other half whilst inhabiting this life.

Fidelity and monogamy are tough ones. My parents celebrated 58 years of wedded togetherness on Monday, and I do not believe that either one ever had eyes for anyone else. In some cases, it is an ironclad fact of life. I have a sibling that has gone through multiple marriages and will never be able to settle down with just one person... another ironclad fact. I do believe that people jump to the conclusion much too quickly that they have found their "soulmate" or whatever the chosen term is lately, and too many life changing decisions are made much too quickly, based on too little information and with too little time getting to really know each other.

Telling someone that they are wrong doesn't work - we believe what we believe until some life changing event comes along to change us... Now if you told me I was wrong, that would profoundly grieve me...

Answer 7

Love is a verb. Its an action. it is something you do. You show your love for others by doing certain things that you wouldnt do for others. Whatever that may be, love for me and you are different than other people. Take it to the extreme: alot of people associate sex with love. Porn stars get married. Well how do they show their love for their mates if their jobs are to have sex? They each show it in different ways. Ok, thats a little extreme, but it illustrates my point about that.

Monogamy. Real? Certainly. Does it exist? Statistics say no. 80 + percent of married couples will have an affair ( whether you know it or not , you being the other mate). As much as 10 percent of the children in the USA is fathered my someone biologically different than their paternal parent. Yes monogmay exists, but it is very rare.

I believe people fall in their relationships for a number of reasons, and none that can be categorized in action, but more of emotional state.

Humans are very emotional beings, especially women, where as men are more rational thinkers, but the male hormones will drive men to do wierd things. I have seen men jeopardize fortunes for some "side action" from a secreatry, or call-girl. Ive seen it.

Now, me..I have been married 12 years, have never done anything like that. That is not to say ive never had the oprotunity, becuase I have, but by someone's grace, they have always led me to the right direction.

I am certainly the exception to these statistics, I wouldnt base my life on the normal, Ive seen alot of things from different people, in different emotional states.

The US seems to have alot of mentally ill people. I dont mean to sound like that is a slam, but when you see anti-depressant medicine passed out in doctors offices like pez candies, I wonder if they are really doing any good. Ive always beleived to treat the problem, not the symptoms.

Now I am rambling..theres my long winded answer.

Answer 8

Well, I feel strongly about this guy, and I'd give reasonable chunks of my life to protect him if he needed it, and I wouldn't think of going out with another person while I have him. And whatever I want between us, it isn't sex. So yeah, I certainly think love exists, and at least in my case fidelity and monogamy are pres ant. And far be it from me to say I'm unique.

And I don't take my answers to life's questions from the Bible, so you don't need to worry about some guy Paul's words being thrown at you for the odd-teenth time.

Answer 9

Hello dear!
Well, if I knew the metropolitan city you are serving people, I would drop sick, so that I could meet you! You seem an excellent person! ...
Regarding love, my stand is that we are spring of feelings, understanding, ....
Our love is from inside us and has nothing to do with environment, which mostly agree with your stand.
Further, I consider Bible as a book of criminals! There is no love, whatsoever, in the bible! And who is mentioned to love, he is punished! There are thousands of examples in the Talmud (Old Testament) and the New Testament.
Thousands of years before the Jews, Greeks and other people were basing their societies on love and cooperation, friendship and understanding!
Since Bible and the Judaic religions (Judaism, Christianity, Islam) were implied to the West, societies were pressed very low, even cannibalism was real, !!! When the main issue of those religions is forgiveness and regret, none is thinking before action, that means erased love! Because love is to think before action!
Regarding suicide, there is more after Judaic religions than before! When Judaic Patriarch is ready to slaughter his son shows the level of love!

Answer 10

Love is an evolutionary characteristic. It is chemical reactions in the brain (been documented) that happens when you see a suitable mate. Social animals have stronger bonds so we can help each other survive. Monogamy is another evolutionary characteristic found in birds, humans, etc. I could go on, but I hope you get the basics.

Answer 11

I belief the love you feel for your special someone is real. The Bible is a book. It has good life lessons. There are lots of books that talk about God. For some people the Bible is the monopoly on God. Others have other books. Others have what their heart tells them.

What does your heart tell you?