his ex wont leave him alone?

Question

I've only been seeing him for about 2 months but his ex won't leave him alone. They were engaged for a while but he left her when he found out she was cheating, until recently (about 4 months) he was still giving her everything she wanted. Now that he's not giving her attention/money/ect she's always around, just to upset him. they have a few mutual friends and she's always telling blatent lies about him, coming over to his apt for no reason, calling him at least once a day, texting ect.. he rarely responds to any of this, but i know that it bothers him that shes screwing around with him. Trying to get him angry, but it's bothering me more.

I know that it's not my place to get involved but he's now backing away from me and he said it's because he's kind of afraid i'll end up like her.... WTF?! What can I do to get rid of the ex? He wants her gone, and i want her gone more!

oh, forgot to mention he left her for good almost a year ago! for the last few months he's just been helping her when she called because they were doing the 'friend' thing.. he says now she was using him, which i agree with.

Answer 1

You have to show him that you aren't her, and that you are supportive of his needs. Don't get into it with her, just ignore her and advise him to do the same.

Good luck, as this is a tough situation to be in.

Answer 2

If she's acting like that, no matter what he says there's something going on there. I know because my ex still calls me and comes to my house and takes me out, buys me things, pays bills, the whole nine. He has a new girlfriend but he doesn't let that interfere with our friendship because we have a child. He still wants me to be a part of his life even though the new gf hates me. If she's still hanging on, there's a reason for it, trust me. When I date he gets jealous and acts a fool. When he can't see me because of her I get jealous. So maybe you should try to talk to her and get to the root of what's really going on. I've spoken to the new gf and we have an understanding but me and the ex have a kid so on some level she has to deal with me. Better be sure he's not still hittin' that. That always makes a girl act a fool.

Answer 3

Best suggestion is to talk to him about it and make it known that you feel this way about her. She's not in the picture anymore (or shouldn't be), and you are. If he in fact wants her gone, then he'll need to be less gentle about it with her, and make it known that her behavior is unnacceptable. He'll have to put his foot down, in order for it to change. Maybe refrain from hanging around these mutual friends for a while, until there's been enough time and space between the two of them. Maybe she does still want him back, and maybe he still wants her? STart the conversation with him, and see where it leads... Good luck!

Answer 4

I would just re-assure him, that even though she is calling him, that you trust him and that if ever wants to talk about it, to let you know. If they were engaged and have only been broken up for a few months, then there is still some feelings between them, that he is working on getting rid of. Be patient with him and put yourself in his situation when he's going through these ordeals. Good luck!

Answer 5

Its very difficult for a new relationship to blossom when the past is trying to hang on to the present.

I think instead of trying to fight his battle for him, you need to let him fend her off on his own; like you said you do not want to get involve in something that is not your fight.

A better way to approach this is to support your bf and let him understand that even though he is going through a difficult period in his life, he will always have you to support him. Talk to him and have him understand he is not alone in this, he has you with him.

I think his ex being irrational might help you strength your relationship with him if you play your cards right. If you show your man that you are supportive, understanding and show compassion about the whole thing, you are clearly tell him that you are somebody that would represent a better choice than his ex; I think any men with the right mind would come to you running if not flying.

By boasting her anger and resentment, his ex is giving you an opportunity to show your support to him, and relationship that last through hardship usually last longer and work out better.

When your bf is telling you he is worry about you turning out like her, he is literally telling you he needs your support and assurance that you'll stand by him. He needs your committment to him before going further into the relationship.

He is not pushing you away, he is asking you to show your love to him, and he needs it now!!

Don't get frustrtated just because things are crazy now, stay focus and calm. Stay with him and help him through this crisis will ensure the bond between the two of you.

Contrary to what other opinion, I believe showing a supportive side would bring him closer to you. If you demand him in any way to end it or step up to fight her off with your claws, he might associate that behavior with his ex; because that's exactly what she's doing now. You need to show him you are different and he needs to see that with his own eyes in action.

Just hang in there, you'll do just fine~

Answer 6

If all this is true.... Harassment order time. Just always remember my old boyfriend stuck one on me to impress his new girlfriend, now wife, and the will be now facing perjury changes. Jealousy sucks! Good luck.... the bad ones get what goes around, returned in double by the honest people they try to hurt.

Answer 7

1st of all stop making up excuses for ur bf.. only he can stop the madness and ur right its not ur place because what they had was obviously special and it's gonna take time for both of them to get over it.. u need to be worried bout if ur the rebound or not..

it is his place to confront her and tell her to stop calling, texting and coming by... u have no idea what the deal is behind closed doors..

u need to fall back and make sure u r what he want... it's only been 2mos and u r just getting 2 caught up in this relationship.. u r tryna take on 2 much responsibility..

Answer 8

Dont get involved in their relationship
the important thing here is that your bf is not in touch with her anymote and that he´s not coming back with her
but pay attention to every sign and never let him go alone anywhere cause she can make a few moves and make him go to bed with her
goos luck

Answer 9

Call Judge Judy

Answer 10

You sound like my girlfriend when I was going through this. lol but it will get better. The ex will continue just let nature take its course but make sure that he is not talking to her or texting her. He has to split all ties or there will be trouble and you will be hurt.