Yesterday we were in the hospital in the doctor's office waiting room they were running around and screaming mostly the 7 year old. I told him repeatively to sit down where the 5 year old would sit down but seeing his big brother wasn't listening why should he have to. They made such a huge scene a doctor came out and yelled at us. I was so embarassed and ashamed of especially my 7 year old. Then once he was in trouble he began to tell me infront of everyone how he was going to get me in trouble someway he'll get me taken away.
Now what exactly is termed as abuse in this world now? Honestly, my hubby tells me they are just kids let them be kids and lets them have everything they want and do whatever they want. To the point where hubby is so sure that IF we ever were to divorce he'd have custody of them. What can i do as far as making them learn I am not going to be ran over. Time out doesn't work, in empty room doesn't work, all the oldest will do is cry hysterically.
2006-08-24 04:05:49 · 13 answers · asked by KayAlley 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My husband and I have talked everyday we've talked about his letting the boys get by with everything. He tells me all i must want them to do is act like I am a military leader. I want them to listen and they don't have to listen to the stupid things i tell them to do. I am a mom I am suppose to clean their rooms, pick up after them and do all the house work alone. They are men they get to play computer games and watch tv. That is the way it is and if I don't like it then tough. Sometimes when i talk to hubby he changes for about a week tops and really makes the boys listen but as soon as i see improvement its like he can't handle seeing them behave and off he goes again yelling at me and going ahead and letting them have their ways. I have tried all the above situations with the 7 year old. Spanked, where he called 911. Was screamed at by hubby. I mentioned to medicine for the 7 year old Hubby came unglued and said none of us are going to therapy. So basically I have accepted
2006-08-24 05:25:53 · update #1
Wow - you need help, girl. Your husband is WRONG. If you don't start discipline now, you are going to have wild, uncontrollable teenagers, and it will all be downhill from there. I would contact the doctor's office you were at and ask them for a referral to a family therapist. If you husband won't go, YOU need to go and take that wild 7 year old with you.
2006-08-24 04:11:05 · answer #1 · answered by gator girl 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well ur Hubby is not a parent letting them get away with everything. He will not get custody of the kids unless he csn prove you unfit, which is next to impossible these days. Divorce him he will see the kids everyother weekend and will have to pay you 50% of his pay for the kids, plus alimony, and spousal support. he will then have to work another job and have no life, he will most likely then be nice as pie to you, trying to get back together with you any way he can. counseling, anything you want. Go for it, and spanking kids is a requirement sometimes, spankings aren't beatings.
Kids need discipline and apparently so does your husband. He is a complete idiot and should have had been castrated years ago to prevent the spread of his seed. Send the kids and your husband to a military camp and then they will listen. Lets face it would be a blessing if he would take those brats off your hands after a divorce, so after you give him the boot give me a call.
2006-08-24 04:37:51 · answer #2 · answered by ash 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
They definitely will not listen to you if they're dad is basically telling them not to. Your husband and you need to be on the same page when discipling your children. You should try telling your husband that you've had numerous public incidents where strangers will comment or come out and yell at you for it. They can still be kids, but they need to learn there is a time and place for running around. If they don't listen to you take them to the bathroom and whoop their behinds, or take a privilege away from them that they really love.. You need to be the parent, don't let them run you. They should be afraid of you not the other way around.
2006-08-24 04:12:34 · answer #3 · answered by little mama kat 23 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's 7. Let him cry hysterically. He will stop eventually. Ignore it. Put in earplugs if you have to.
You have to let them know you mean business. If time out doesn't work on him, start giving his favorite toys time outs. Tell him that if he doesn't behave your going to put "favorite toy here" in a time out for "certain number of days here. And then do it. Take away tv time. Take away video games etc.
Sit your husband down and explain to him how important it is that you maintain a united front when it comes to discipline. If he undermines your authority in front of them, they will not respect or listen to you.
Praise them whenever they are behaving! Make them sticker charts. Each time you catch them being good add a sticker. At 20 or 30 stickers reward them with something. A toy, trip to Chuck E Cheese etc.
But be consistent.
2006-08-24 04:16:43 · answer #4 · answered by C K Platypus 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I must say that you have already answered your own question! TALK TO YOUR MAN! Don't let your man speak until you have said everything you need to say! When you have spoken, be quiet, and let him talk. Now that you have both gotten it out, sit down with pen and paper and make some simple rules that your children must follow. You must both agree! Be sure to remind your WONDERFUL man that you are not raising children, you are raising human beings. They, no matter what others may think, and you, don't want them to be seen as out casts. You and your husband are raising soon to be adults, and believe me time flies, Regardless of what your husband may think you can not allow them to misbehave now or they will be monsters when they are older. Get a grip on your fear of your husbands threats and sit down and talk to him. Tell him how the children are not your life and love, they are suppose to be the product of the life and love your husband and you shared. Children are important, yes, but when all is said and done it all comes down to you and him. People will begin to ignore you, not invite you (as a family) to important functions, and avoid you at all costs! That is if it already hasn't begun! These are suppose to be the most wonderful years of your life. Building memories and sharing them later with your children and their children. Stay strong! Been there done that!
2006-08-24 04:29:24 · answer #5 · answered by wonderingmom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, Do NOT spare the rod. Whip them as much as needed. Not physically diciplining a child is the worst mistake a parent can make. Use a belt or a small limb off a tree. Do this and you'll have perfect little angels for children.
2006-08-24 04:25:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I remember my mother telling me just wait till we get home.... and let me tell you a spank on the butt is not child abuse... take away a few of the fun things that they have and make sure to tell them why. Try also bringing treats, colors, and paper to keep them busy as bord children makes for naughty children.
2006-08-24 04:09:47 · answer #7 · answered by Tricia P 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The problem is not with your kids it is with you and your husband.
The two of you need to be in agreement or the kids will divide and conquer.
Sounds like parenting counseling would help if you both take it together.
2006-08-24 04:12:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to have a serious chat with hubby! second,you need to bust the kid's butts..Believe me if you don't put a stop to it,the longer this goes ,the worse it will be on you.
2006-08-24 04:13:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You gotta work as a team and discipline NOW or they will brats later. And a older teenage brat is a nightmare.
2006-08-24 04:11:16 · answer #10 · answered by DesignR 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋