My friend is a bi*ch she gave her baby away after they put him in her arms?

Question

She had money and family support to take care of her baby girl but she wanted to do adoption so b4 they give them to the adopting parents or agency they give you the baby for a couple of hours to see if you still want and she still signed her over she said that she cant handle that in her life right now she is 20!!! and i had my son at 16 and i kept him and adoption nor abortion was an option and i didnt even have a job my parents helped me and i went threw rough times. but she has a job and family support can some one tell me why she is such a bad mom how can anyone just give there kid away wen they can maintain them????

By the way she is my closest friend and she told me she wants to party a little bit more!!!! and i told her to her face everything i wrote here

Answer 1

WOW. I am totally amazed at the double standards most of these people here have. Look in the other Yahoo Questions. When the man doesn't want the child, the women call him a deadbeat, an ***hole, a lowlife, etc. and tell him he should be forced to support it and not get away with it.

On the other hand, the mother here wants to dump her child to PARTY more...WTH. Then everyone defends her, saying you should respect her decision and that YOU are wrong for calling her a b*tch. Please. She is as much of a deadbeat mother as these women would call any man and you should let her know that. Period!

Answer 2

I personally grew up with a mother like your friend. Unfortunately she didn't put me up for adoption. Instead she went out all the time and partied it up while i sat with babysitter after babysitter. She was never around......I never bonded to her. Finally my dad got custody of me. She didn't even fight it either or even show up for the hearing. I haven't talked to her since I was 8, I'm 21 now. I think the baby should of been given up if she didn't want it. Even if she had the money and support, she didn't have the love in her heart for a child which is just as important as money and a job. Your situation was diff rent, you loved your baby and were willing to sacrifice. Is she a bad person? I don't think so.......if she doesn't want to be a mother she did give another woman a chance to be one. She also could of had an abortion but she didn't. I understand why you would be upset, you just need to understand that your friend is not you, so you should expect that you won't make the same decisions.

Answer 3

Maybe she could have taken care of him, but if she resented having a baby, she probably wouldn't have been a very good parent, and might possibly have hurt him.

By giving him up for adoption, she did two things: a) At least she gave him a chance at life, rather than aborting him; and b) she have a barren couple a chance to have a baby when they normally wouldn't have been able to. Maybe they'll be able to give him a better life than she ever could.

Can you imagine if she had kept him...if she really wanted to stay out and party, the poor baby would have been dumped off with a sitter or family member most of the time anyway, so why even bother if she's going to let her family do most of the raising?

Answer 4

Forget you, forget your personal situation for just a second. She admitted that she wasn't ready and did the responsible thing. She doesn't want to be a Mom, but she loved that child enough to give her a good life. When its all said and done, she did what was best for that baby. Would you rather her keep it and hate the child because it forced her to stop her partying? I had a baby less than a month after I turned 18. I understand where you are comming from. But she really did do her baby the best she could. She did not abort. She did not dump her baby in a trashcan. She handed her child over to hopefully be adopted into a wonderful loving home where she'll get the love and attention every child deserves.

Answer 5

If she didn't want that baby with all of her being, then it would have been a crime to keep it. She would only have feelings of resentment and bitterness- neither of which fosters a good parent-child relationship. This way she could give her child the best life possible--to parents who fully want and can care for a baby. She has done a great thing. How would you feel if you were the adopting parents-- and had been granted the great honor of raising that child. I know it's hard to think of her giving up her child, because you have such a love for your own, but if she didn't feel she was ready, or willing to get ready for this child, What she did was probably the best for everyone.

Answer 6

If she wasn't ready to handle the responsibility and wanted time to party and be young she did the perfect thing - give the baby to a family who can handle the responsibility and provide the best life for that child.

I would like to see more young mothers give their children up for adoption, there are many families who want kids and can't have them and at the same time there are many young moms who are raising kids and not giving them the attention they need because they didn't get a chance to grow up and live their life.

Show your friend some support, she's going through a tough time in her life.

Raising your child is the right thing for you to do, and I commend you for stepping up and taking on the challenge. I just don't think people should do so if they aren't ready.

Answer 7

Who are you to judge? Some people say 16-year-olds can't parent, but you did it anyway & it worked for you. What she did worked for her. Maybe she saw what you went through & realized she can't do it. Whatever her reasons, I don't think she's a bad mother at all. I think it's really brave and difficult for someone to give their child up for adoption so their child can have a better life. If you're a real friend you'd support her decision & help her through what must be a very difficult time. I think her decision is really impressive - she's making some couple's dream of being a parent come true, she's giving her child a better life than she can offer now, and she's allowing herself to live the life she wants & get things in order so she can be a better parent in the future when she's ready to have a child.

Answer 8

I have to ask, was it better to give the child to a loving family that wants a baby so badly that it will take in someone else's and raise it as their own, or make a woman who does not want the child raise it anyway?

I have to say that I respect your friend's decision to give the child a better life than she can emotionally give to it.

While you chose one path that was the best for you, and I know it is very hard on you because my middle daughter had a son at 16 too. Your friend chose a path that may have been just as hard for her.

It's not always about money and family support, it is also about love and understanding and emotional support. Without those things she was right to give the child to someone else. If you are going to hold it against her than you don't need to be her friend. Because I suspect that real friends is truly what she needs now.

Answer 9

Instead of calling her a B*tch I think you should support her decision. You say she's ur close friend and in that please support her. I know that she's probably going through a lot with that decision. I myself am a young mother. I had my daughter at 19 and it was the best thing for me. The only difference I think I have in my situation, her father and I decided to have a baby and we couldn't wait to have one. So we had her at a very young age. Now I am going to be 21 in December and her father will be 22 in December and as I told you we're very young parents but that was a decision we made. Please just support and don't put her down in any way possible. She's going through things that you may not even know about and may never know about.




People have different morals and values and you need to respect that for her and the child. Just cuz someone has the support doesn't mean they are ready to have a child. She should learn from this and protect herself next time she decides to have sex or if it does happen again get it aborted.

Answer 10

She wants to party a bit more...well that is how she got pregnant the first time. If she does not want any kids then she needs to either use birth control or stop having sex. How many more kids is she going to give away just like that? Abortion is one thing but giving your child up for adoption I am totally against on top of abortion. She sounds selfish if you ask me. If she cannot handle a baby then she cannot handle sex.