My brother is serving time for Cyber crimes children's photos sick stuff like that well he served his 3 years now his children have stepped up and said he messed with them after the sentencing of the cyber crimes they said nothing happened and now they say this, his wife my sister n law is divorcing and filing charges. I don't know what 2 think, I can't stand what he did but he is still the brother I grew up with. Anybody ever had this situation and how did u deal with it. My parents r passed away thank goodness they don't have 2 deal with it, and he is the only family I mean only family I have left, but he has issues definetley!!!!!
2006-08-24 03:59:37 · 15 answers · asked by Happi @ss 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
After writting this I want 2 make it clear I DO NOT DEFEND him in anyway just don't understand it all.
2006-08-24 04:08:52 · update #1
Tough one kid...I have a brother now that's waiting to go to court over cyber child porn also. I don't know why people resort to this kind-of thing. Maybe it's like homosexuality and they are predisposed to it. Maybe it's a fetish of the perverse nature. I truly believe we all have fetishes of some kind (anything from S/M to how we like to be stroked). It's too bad society isn't taking a different look at a cure or prevention of such things' Unfortunately the talk is now that there is no cure for such a crime (I think the same could be said for all crimes) and are brothers are going to have a real hard time.
It's disturbing that now his children are saying he did this. What brought that about? Is this something brought on by the divorce? Did they go and see therapists? If they did, there is a good chance that the therapists put that in their mind. Look into it and try to talk with his ex and the kids. How old are the kids? If they are young, they might just be pawns of the therapists and/or the ex. One more thing...ask your brother point blank if he did it. If he did pray for him and the victims and try to get some therapy. If he didn't, be there for him and try to find the root of the accusations. Good luck!
2006-08-24 04:28:58 · answer #1 · answered by strong and soft 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so glad to her that you are not defending him. Some family members tend to defend their loved ones for the most heinous actions. I understand that you are at a crossroads and not sure which way to go. Have you read any books on the mind of child molesters? Perhaps understanding the sickness that your brother has would help you make your decision. Statistics are so alarming when it comes to repeat offenders. Do you have children or do you plan on having children? I would NEVER allow this man around my children. This man has done things to his own children. He is a very sick individual and should not be in society. He is not the brother that you grew up playing in the backyard with sweetie. He is a pedophile. I agree with the first person that answered if you do keep in contact make it minimal. I am sure you have other people who love and care about you. If this is the only family you have perhaps you would be better off having none.
2006-08-24 04:30:12 · answer #2 · answered by geni 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you are a Christian, Christ says to love the sinner not the Sin. And that means forgiving him and coming to terms with the fact that he is a very sick individual but at the same time steering him in the right direction and setting boundaries. He needs to get psychiatric help and that should be one of the conditions you impose on your relationship. Boundaries! Many boundaries. Do not let him ever be alone with your children!! Not even for 5 seconds. And let him know in no uncertain terms, you can understand he may not be able to help his sick fantasies and that is why he needs help, but we all are responsible for our actions and you are upset by his behavior and will not continue with your relationship with him if he ever hurts anyone else again. Encourage him to do whatever his children say they need from him to heal. Your nice(s) or nephew(s) and their well being actually should be your priority and your closest family now!!! They need you more than you know. And they need to hear that none of this was their fault and that you love them and are there for them. From your behavior they can learn to also forgive their sick father someday and not to hate him forever. Hating a parent no matter how awful they are is destructive for the child. Believe me, I know...
2006-08-24 04:10:38 · answer #3 · answered by TrueSoul 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say you maintain contact with your brother, AND his children. You are 100% right he is your family. You never mentioned that you were harmed, but if you have children PLEASE be cautious with them around him. Also, your brohter may have been abused himslef, maybe you could help him sort this out, he does need someone on his side. You are a wonderful sister. There is no way for him to 'get better' without some help and support and love - and it sounds like you might be the only one able to give those things to him!
2006-08-24 04:17:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow - that sure is a tough decision, but I think you need to think of your nieces/nephews. They were the ones that are going to be hurt the most. Go ahead and stay in contact with your brother - but at a distance and tell him how disappointed you are of him, that he would do this at all, let alone to his own kids. It's hard for people like this to change, but I think it's best if he stays behind bars, so he doesn't do this to anymore kids. Would you feel comfortable if he was around your kids??? Good luck with your decision!
2006-08-24 04:04:34 · answer #5 · answered by Jules 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well wow... First of all your brother sounds like he has issues... however he still is your blood relation. He will need your support. I personally think child petafile crimes are a severe mental defect.... and am not sure if it is curable. I would stay in contact and visit him as you two are the only family that you both have.
2006-08-24 04:14:00 · answer #6 · answered by Tricia P 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do have family left, you have his children. You should be concentrating on that relationship with the kids rather than a person that is sick and needs professional help. The children, which again, are your family, and they didn't have a choice in what happened to them.
2006-08-24 04:31:14 · answer #7 · answered by voandginger 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I do know what you are going through.
Just make sure that he gets the professional psychiatric help that he is going to need. Maybe he may be able to make a change in his life. And it is not wrong for you to love and care for him even though that he did wrong. He needs your prayers and when he does get out he is going to need your help in making him a better person. Good luck with everything.
2006-08-24 04:08:28 · answer #8 · answered by rranderson1968 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry this must be terrible for you - However the crimes are larger than the fact he is your brother - Keep contact to a minimum.
2006-08-24 04:02:23 · answer #9 · answered by boo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure there's a way to understand him.
If it comes to the kids, it may have been at the time they were afraid to tell.
Since I have children, I would have to disown him for the safety of my children.
2006-08-24 04:24:38 · answer #10 · answered by C K Platypus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋