Should we assume that the feelings will fall back into place, or should we cancel wedding plans, and wait if and when her full former feelings return?
2006-08-24 03:51:34 · 25 answers · asked by rom9_16 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It depends on how close the wedding is. If it's more than 6 months away, I would not change anything just yet. Maybe the planning is starting to get to her. Most brides get carried away in the planning and have the time of their lives, but a few get dragged down by the amount of details that go into even a small wedding. Have the two of you been a couple for just a short time? Early infatuation usually starts to fade after about 2 years. What you are left with is still love (if it truly IS love) but it is different from the early "you are my everything and you are perfect" feelings you have at the start. It is normal, and doesn't mean anything is wrong. Only SHE can really say if the wedding should go ahead or be canceled. Talk to her and try and find out if it is just cold feet, planning frustration, or something more serious.
2006-08-24 08:31:23 · answer #1 · answered by Debbie D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two need to sit down and clarify what "a bit" means. It is perfectly normal for either half of a couple to have what we call "cold feet." After all, you are talking about spending the rest of your lives together. It's an exciting prospect, but also a sobering one. If she is just having this kind of realization, then things are probably fine. If there is ANY serious doubt, I would post-pone the wedding. Engagement is the next step in a relationship, and it shouldn't feel like a ticking time-bomb.
You two might want to set up an appointment or two with a couples therapist. There can be a stigma around this, but really you need someone who is impartial who knows how to ask the right questions. A marriage takes work and is worth fighting for, but you both have to be willing to work at and fight for it. I hope she's onboard.
2006-08-24 11:14:30 · answer #2 · answered by Church Music Girl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is she wanting to do? You guys need to sit down and have a good long discussion about this. Marriage is a very big step, and it's much easier (although it may seem not) to undo a wedding than a marriage.
BUT, if the wedding's in the next week or two...and she's seeming overly stressed, then it's basic nerves, and I wouldn't worry too much about it. Try to be supportive to her, and reassure her everything will be fine. Make sure she's doing something that's non-wedding related every day, even if you have to drag her out of the house and take her for a walk.
Good luck to you both!
2006-08-24 12:01:43 · answer #3 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if the wedding is around the corner she might simply be having wedding jitters which you shouldnt worry that much about,but if its way off then you got to cancel your plans before you go further! the best way is to ask her what she really means when she says her feelings have changed.if she still loves you and want to be with you then wait for her to do a few heart and soul searching and hopefully she will still want to get married afterwards!
2006-08-24 11:17:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if your wedding was tomorrow, hold off on the wedding.
It is never a good idea to get married when one partner isn't emotionally ready for it.
Need to communicate with her and discuss what changed, why, any events that made it change and how she feels. Maybe seek pre marital counseling.
2006-08-24 22:51:36 · answer #5 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't cancel anything...unless the wedding is in the next month. I'm engaged and it's not the fabulous love-fest everyone says it is. It is a time for A LOT of introspection. It is hard for both parties to comes to terms with FOREVER. It doesn't mean she doesn't love you if she is telling you about her doubts.
How long have you been engaged?
2006-08-24 15:35:04 · answer #6 · answered by whoathereannieoakley 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear that you are going through this. I would post-pone the wedding until she is for sure that she wants to spend the rest of her life with you. Everyone around you will understand and applaud you for taking a step back rather than to go through with a wedding that might not last. I'll be thinking of you!!!
2006-08-24 10:55:44 · answer #7 · answered by Jules 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Put the wedding plans on hold. She may just have pre wedding jitters or she may be realising she made a mistake. Wait it out and see if she gets her old feelings back.
2006-08-24 10:55:10 · answer #8 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Feelings never return. Postpone the wedding.
2006-08-24 11:56:31 · answer #9 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unless ur wedding is in the next 2 weeks i wouldnt worry to much. most women get cold feet when u r not sure of any thing any more. give her time and even then if things dont change then there is a chance u might have to
2006-08-24 10:54:55 · answer #10 · answered by in ur face 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋