We have been dating for 2 years and a month ago he slept with his ex, as I had been out of town, and he says that it meant nothing, He says that he never had contact with her before that. I love him but I dont know what to do. please help.
2006-08-24 02:56:59 · 58 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You are so worth so much more, thana doormat.. You let him do this, he looses respect for you not to mention you loose respect for him...
I know you feel you can't live without, if so that is normal, but you will..you nned someone that is faithful..
so out of the blue she just appears...he has been contacting her, that is just bull..
pull yourself together, dust yourself off, and tell him...bye..
I have been happly married for 14 yrs...trust me, been there done that have a t-shirt..
You are so worth more...please remember that...how do you know if he won't do that again, besides, he could bring home a std, we don't know who she slept with,,and it take up to 6 yrs for cetain test to show cetain diseases...
hope all is well...this will make you stronger...
best wishes
2006-08-24 03:02:45 · answer #1 · answered by BellyDancingDeva 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter if he says it didn't mean anything or not; he was at his ex's the minute you left town. He doesn't love you like he says he does. If he didn't he would've kept your trust.
I know it hurts so much to think about losing someone, but you've already lost him. And he is committed to his ex for the rest of his life now. They are having a baby.
If he cheats once he'll cheat again. Ask any psychiatrist; it's a pattern of behavior. How do you know that he was faithful to you up to that point? The only reason you probably found out is that he has to fess up that he got the girl pregnant.
You going out of town was no excuse. And by the way you worded your question it sounds like you're trying to use that to justify his actions. The truth is there is nothing justifiable about his actions. The longer you stay with him the more it's going to hurt you. You will be much happier in the end if you leave him before he hurts you again.
There is someone out there you are meant to be with and it clearly isn't him. Don't miss out. It's going to hurt a lot at first, but you will get over him. He doesn't deserve you. Don't you want someone who does? I hope you find all the happiness you deserve and more.
2006-08-24 03:14:01 · answer #2 · answered by Cassiopeia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Help yourself by leaving this guy.
Here's a thought: what if YOU were the ex, and YOU were pregnant...and your ex-boyfriend dumps you, leaving you with the decision to abort or keep the baby (and find the time and money to care for the baby).
What would YOU do?
What would YOU be thinking about your ex-boyfriend?
Now - if he can be so cold-hearted to his ex-girlfriend and turn his back on his potential child, he can do the same thing to YOU, somewhere in the near future.
Think, girl...THINK.
Now, it's your call...but if I were in your shoes, I'd dump this guy about as fast as a bad case of diarrhea.
Good luck to you...and more importantly, good luck to the preggo ex-girlfriend, she's gonna need a boatload of luck to get though this crisis.
2006-08-24 03:05:42 · answer #3 · answered by docscholl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
of course it meant something if he waited till u left town to get w/the ex and then not use any protection... obviously ur relationship means nothing to him... cause if it did he wouldn't be running up in someone else raw... all men say it meant nothing to make the gf feel better when in reality it makes it worse cause if it meant nothing why go that route in the 1st place..
u need to leave him and move on.. there isn't anything u can do.. that is his responsibility not urs.. they will always have a bond and some type of connection now.. and there is nothing u can do about it.... and he'll probably continue to sleep w/her...
2006-08-24 03:00:54 · answer #4 · answered by Queen D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He made his bed, let him sleep in it. if he's already sleeping around outside of your relationship, it most likely will not stop. I think you can also be pretty sure that it has happened before.
You need to take a long hard look at this relationship and realize that even though you love him, being with him long term will only lead to devastating heartbreak in the future for you.
Get out now before you rationalize his behavior and make excuses for him. There is no excuse for cheating. It means he is not committed to you and sees no future with you no matter what he says. If you forgive him and accept him back, it will signify to him that you accept this behavior and it will give him a green light to do it more frequently.
In addition, the fact that he cheats without protection shows extreme irresponsibility and a greater lack of respect towards you because he is putting your health at risk.
2006-08-24 03:03:53 · answer #5 · answered by Hockey, Guns & Beer 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh sweetie.
You need to get far far away from him. He obviously is not over his ex, and has no respect for you.
I understand how much you must love him, but a person that cheats will always be a cheater.
Ask yourself do you want to deal with this type of pain again and again? It will be hard but you should do what is best for you.
You will be able to find the love of your life, and that person will treat you with the love and respect you deserve.
Keep your head up, and stay strong.
2006-08-24 03:01:22 · answer #6 · answered by Angela S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know this is hard for you right know. I have always said that when a man cheats that I wont take him back. But yet again I have never been cheated on by a boyfriend i loved. But I have always said that if they do cheat and have a baby with somebody else that is so over. Your not only not going to be able to forgive him but you will always have a reminder of his infidelity and that is something you never have to go through for a cheater
2006-08-24 03:02:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
In your place I would leave him. I wouldn't even think twice. The fat that he betrayed your 2- year relationship shows that he does not care a bit. This child, whether he wanted it or not, should be his primary concern. It ahs nothing to do with his father's faults. If on top of that, he tells you he isn't going to care about the child but stay with you he's even worse because he wouldn't even care for his child...You might like that at the moment, but just think if you were in this situation, he wouldn not hesitate to leave you as well....
Get away from that guy. I am sorry for you that you have spent 2 years with this guy...He didn't deserve you...
2006-08-24 03:19:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not time to walk away, it's time to run. If you don't get out of this mess now, without looking back, you're destined to a life of misery and infidelity to a guy who is not ready for either commitment or responsibility.
Either way, that baby is going to cost this guy big bucks for the next 18 to 21 years, and he will still have that bond with the mother, so the best you can hope to be in this scenario is his toy, on the outside. Get out now and get on with your life!
2006-08-24 03:07:40 · answer #9 · answered by briang731/ bvincent 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hon somthing dosent sound right there.You been with him 2 years and u go out of town.And conviently they sleep together but they never had contact before that?Sounds fishy to me.anyone that cheats usually cheats again.And im sorry i find it hard to believe that they had not had contact at all till u left town then they ended up in the sack.Thats the ultimate betryal not to mention the fact that he got her pregnant which means they probaly had unprotected sex.I would go get tested for std's you never know what she had that could be transmitted back to u.If i was in that position it would be hard bcause obviously you love him.But think real hard do you want to stay with someone thats going to betray you like that?You deserve better than that.
2006-08-24 03:01:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋