this has been my problem since last month when i found out myself that my sister-in-law, my big brother's wife is having an affair with another man. my brother doesn't have an idea about this and i don't know what to do. worse, i owe a lot from my brother and his wife because when i am broke, i stay with them for weeks or months and they feed me, they provide me everything and i don't need to pay them even a penny.
now, i feel that if i break my silence about her affair, i will seem like not appreciative of what they did to me, cuz they really helped me a lot. what should i do? please help. thanks a lot.
2006-08-24 02:07:45 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I know they helped you out when you needed it...but one thing has nothing to do with the other.....it does not give your sister-in-law license to have an affair.......He is your brother, your blood relative....tell him.......
2006-08-24 02:27:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The best thing you can do is mind your own business and cease accepting their charity. You're obviously old enough to make it on your own and it's time you did so, accepting the consequences when you screw up and run out of money. There are reasonable alternatives to going and sponging off big brother. Find those alternatives and use them.
You do not know, despite living with them off and on, what the entire range of their relationship dynamics are, nor, unless you've actually been physically present when she "did" him, do you absolutely know she's "having an affair". Poking about trying to "investigate" is unwarranted invasion of privacy and will, when your nosiness is discovered, result in you no longer being welcome in their home under any circumstances - further, it could wind up making it appear that YOU are part of the problem, should there really BE one.
Bd grateful for their past largesse, but move on and don't look back. It's the only way to survive long-term.
2006-08-24 09:21:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you have to consider what would your brother want. Would he want to know? Does he have any idea that she may be doing it ? And if the answer to those questions are yes, well then bust her *** and tell him what you know ....just sit him down and say " Hey , there is something I am 100% sure of about your wife. I like her and all and you all have helped me in the past and hopefully I can do the same for you , she is having an affair." BUT ONLY IF YOU ARE 100% SURE. Cause there is nothing like a woman scorned and you dont want her to back you in a corner and make you look like all you are trying to do is make trouble.
2006-08-24 09:13:03 · answer #3 · answered by sandy_stamper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your loyalty should lie with your brother.He needs to know about his wifes betrayal.If he finds out from another source and finds out you kept that from him hes going to not only feel betrayed by his wife but also his sister.You should confront your sister in law and let her know that you know.And tell her if she dosent tell your brother you will.This has nothing to do with you not appreciatting what they have done to help you out this has to do with your brother being betrayed and possibly his well being.Who knows the guy shes having the affair with could have a disease and then be transmitted to your brother.And if roles were reversed and your brother knew your partner was cheating on you wouldnt you be upset and sad if he did not tell you?
2006-08-24 09:14:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
unappreciative to who? the woman who is cheating on your flesh and blood or the guy who (I'm going with probablilities and statistics here) pays a good chunk of the bills and helped make you the man you are today?
who would feel more betrayed when the truth comes out? would it be
A) your brother if he finds out you knew about her cheating and didn't tell him
-or-
b) your sis in law when she finds out it was you who tipped off your brother when she was doing him wrong?
make your choice, you may want to get advice from your parents on this one too.. but use a friend's name instead of your brother's
2006-08-24 09:20:42 · answer #5 · answered by Shrek'shandsomeidenticaltwin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sucks that you know about it, but it is not YOUR problem or necessarily your business. Whatever is wrong between you brother and his wife is between your brother and his wife. YOU need to get a job and learn how to support yourself.
2006-08-24 09:12:34 · answer #6 · answered by badkitty1969 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all u must talk to her and show her that u r so angry and sad for her and ur brother too.
Ask her tobreak with her lover to keep life goes in peace with ur brother. And tell her seriously that u r going to tell all to ur brother, if she doesnt listen to u, u have to tell about this affair.
Belive me ur brother doesnt deserve this from both of u and his wife.
2006-08-24 09:15:00 · answer #7 · answered by dr_merobedro 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would tell my brother...if he found out that u knew you won't have to worry about having a place to stay...cause i wouldn't let u stay with me if u were my sister and i found out that u knew my husband was having an affair...you will feel better about yourself if u let him know.
2006-08-24 09:12:31 · answer #8 · answered by twinky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a messy situation....and more complicated because you are dependent on your brother financially. I would let your sister in law know that you are aware of her indiscretion and then let them work it out between them.
2006-08-24 09:13:50 · answer #9 · answered by aerdna2u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's your brother man! Get pictures, and show him. Otherwise it may cause him to be skeptical. And the pics will help him get more stuff in the divorce.
2006-08-24 09:12:30 · answer #10 · answered by barter256 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋