We don't share the same views at all and she says some very offensive comments to me. She constantly rolls her eyes at everything, like she thinks none of us can see her. I'm at her home for a week and she is on my last nerve. WHAT DO I DO? Help please and I will choose you for Best Answer!!!
2006-08-24 02:02:36 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I know this ...trust me, I Know, this will be hard, but you have to be the bigger person here. Your visit is 1 week, your marriage is a lifetime. We live nxt door to my husband's grandparents and his grandmother sometimes drives me to the brink. I'm constantly hearing stuff like , "Well w/ my girls..." and I just want to scream , "Yeah, well, these are My girls not yours! So Stop pretending you're their mommy!", but I don't. I love my husband and I know the sun rises and sets w/ his grandma, so I bite my tongue and go on. I tried talking to my husband about it years ago and we would just end up fighting. But once I backed off, and started doing all I could for his grandma, he finally came around. I think it's even made our relationship stronger, because he started telling me how much he appreciates me tolerating her and beind as kind as I can. Like it or not, we do marry our spouses' families. It's just unavoidable. Treat this woman the same way you would treat your own mother, even if she doesn't treat you the way your mother would. Your relationship with your husband will be happier, if you don't hold resentments towards him for, more or less, siding w/ his mother and you will be able to live w/ no regrets for not saying or doing something hurtful that only makes you feel shameful later.
A son's a son, till he takes a wife,
but a daughter's a daughter all her life.
2006-08-24 02:36:52 · answer #1 · answered by gypsie_soul06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, honey, I know exactly where you are coming from. I am currently living with my mother in law. If it's not one thing she's telling me I'm doing wrong, it's another. The dishes sat one time for 3 days a few weeks ago, because I was sick and tired of doing them (There are 7 other people in this house, on and off, and I am pregnant). So I finally put them in the dishwasher, and literally two minutes later, she was in there, had taken ALL of the dishes out of the dishwasher, and turned them around. Like it made a difference. RAWR!
Anyway, I just try to avoid her whenever possible. Thank God she works during the day, so I don't have to worry until about 5 pm.
Try going for a drive, going to visit another family member, go for a walk, go to the beach or a small lake and do some swimming, stuff like that. If all else fails, talk to her. It sounds like you don't have to deal with her very often, so you can't do much harm.
Tell her, Look, I know you don't like me, you've made it very clear. But I'm here, you're here, so I'd appreciate it if for the next week you could muster the strength to stop rolling your eyes and keep your comments to yourself.
If she keeps up, she'll only be embarrassing herself. Why do mother in laws act this way? lol. I thought it was a very big stereotype, b/c until I got married, my mil was the sweetest thing. And then she like, changed overnight.
Anyhow, good luck. Hope you get through to her.
2006-08-24 02:16:17 · answer #2 · answered by rlms_girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't care about best answer but thanks!
Try to avoid her at all cost! and try not to take it to heart!!! i'm sure she is testting the grounds with you! Help her out where ever it is needed if you can't avoid her! if you act like it don't bother you she may just quit.. how ever if she don't talk to your loved one and tell him about it and ask him if he would minded if you confronted her about it in a nice way... if he doesn't think that would be the best way then ask if he could for you!
if you do get the chance just calmly say " Mom 2 why you being me to me do you not think i'm good enough for your son? Or "What was the point of that comment? I don't understand do you even like me? put her on the spot make yourself look stupid and make her feel like a queen when questioning her... Mother- in - laws can be a real blast.. "see me rolling my eyes" lol
Good luck sweetie
MAd luv!
2006-08-24 02:08:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mother in law didn't value what I had to say either...the catch, I was supposed to worship the words that spilled from her mouth. I talked to my husband and that didn't work after all, it was HIS mother and in his eyes she was perfect...being overly nice only pushed more buttons and made things worse...I finally had it and called MY mother who said these words to me..."Do you speak to her that way?" Of course not I told her. Her suggestion was this "I do not speak to you that way, I would appreciate that you would not speak to me that way either." Of course I thought it will make things worse but the next offensive thing she spit at me, I said it and it was a Kodak moment. You set the tone, if it is her home then respect that put this is your life and let her know that she cant and wont interfere, make it miserable, nor cause you grief! Good Luck to you!
2006-08-24 02:22:25 · answer #4 · answered by Jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One good thing it is Thursday!! The week is almost up.! I would just talk to her when she speaks to you. When she is being offensive, get up and go to the bathroom. Take a walk. Say things like "you could be right" to everything she says. Just a few ideas. Hang in there.
2006-08-24 02:13:34 · answer #5 · answered by hello 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it from me, mother-in-law problems can be super tough. Keep your chin up, there will be a time when things will start to seem better (it took 10 yrs for me). For now, talk to your husband about your concerns. He need to acknowledge that there are issues there and he may have to address them. If he doesn't, chin up, smile, and pick your fights. Take on only the important things to confront her about. At some point, she will realize that she is looking foolish. Unfortunately, when you start having children things may get worse before they get better. That is when you get the claws out. Mine learned quick that she cannot run over my kids.
2006-08-24 02:19:34 · answer #6 · answered by country girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best answer is just keep you distance. Because have you ever heard of the saying misery loves company. Because you dont have to put up with her only your mate. And thats the important thing. Or if you have to tell your spouse to let her know that she bothers you.
2006-08-24 02:09:00 · answer #7 · answered by justme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the time left during the week, stay out of her house... make up excuses to go out to shop, see a movie, meet a friend... etc. Just come back to her place to sleep.
2006-08-24 02:09:17 · answer #8 · answered by Limon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you discuss it with your spouse and you hopefully decide to move to a hotel for the rest of the week if its that bad. If you can't then you say nothing and keep a smile on your face. That way she can really say nothing since she isn't being provoked by anything you say or do.
2006-08-24 02:08:49 · answer #9 · answered by thunder2sys 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start drinking heavily. Or muster every last bit of patience and ignore it. Or tell your husband to ask his mother to stop being rude to you. Either way - I feel for you and hope you can get through this week!
2006-08-24 02:05:31 · answer #10 · answered by empress_pam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋